Well, Frack My Lifestream
by benenator
Summary: On the way home from work, a young human finds himself forcibly evicted from life...and eventually wakes up in another body, in another universe. A universe she is somewhat familiar with, just not as much as she thinks.
1. Player NaN has entered the ga

#define COPYRIGHT_OWNERSHIP_DENIAL {

"Copyright law in the USA is a bit insane in duration, I don't have money to pay fines with, I don't MAKE money from this, and Square Enix owns the copyright on all Final Fantasy characters and on the stories they wrote. Characters from other works are property of their respective publishers and creators. I own only the differences, am receiving no monetary or other financial compensation from this work, and am using the source materials under fair use and parody rights. If said rights do not exist in your locale, you are not permitted to read this work for any purpose.

By continuing to read this story, you are agreeing to the whole contents of the preceding paragraph and this one, and agreeing that you will not sue in a court of law, attempt to impose arbitration, or in any way harass or intimidate the author. Failure to abide by these terms will...mark you as a pariah among fans of the intellectual property of yourself or your client(s), I guess? I'm not a lawyer, I dunno how to write this stuff!" }

* * *

Chapter 1

_Trigger warning: Trigger warnings, brief authorial complaints about midwest-American culture, clichéd plot types (self-insertion), calling people crazy when not referring to medically-diagnosable mental instability, magical instant medical-side-effect-free genderswapping._

I wish I could say I was surprised by how I went out. Given the crazy drivers in ▄┴◄ ◘╕who didn't give two shits about pedestrians crossing the street, completely ignored the laws regarding usage of texting while driving – specifically, the part where it was _ILLEGAL _for _better reasons than you __have for__ doing it__ – _and were (did I mention?) crazy, it was only a matter of time before somebody rammed me with two tons of metal at, oh, thirty miles an hour.

Turns out that calcium-and-organic structures less than an inch thick aren't _that_ great at preventing acute kinetic energy transferals of that magnitude from inducing catastrophic data loss and hardware failures in Jello-consistency organic computers; said transferal being followed up by a collision with the nearest steel lightpole does nothing to mitigate the problem. Thankfully it all happened too fast for me to really register any pain – how bad off would I be remembering THAT as I try to come to terms with where I've ended up?

Translation: He's dead, Jim.

The next thing I can recall was a starfield, nothing else around me. I couldn't see myself or feel anything – heat, cold, or any perception of limbs. I was just...floating? Not a great word, I'm not in a fluid, I just _exist_, with no real idea of the perception of time. Sort of thing that could very quickly drive a person laughing mad, having only visual sensory input, but it triggered nothing.

Translation: It's life, but not as we know it.

All I can see are the points of light, here and there. The view slowly shifted up, left, twisting down and sliding further left; stopping, spinning back right. It was slow enough I wouldn't have been too ill if I had an inner-ear and stomach left to be nauseous with; as it was, it felt more like one of those movie-like dreams where you just watch what happens.

The hallucinations started eventually, of course – with next to no input to process, the brain generates its own. The later, more vivid ones involved, in no particular order:

An angry Q shaking Kyuubey in a manner reminiscent of a cat who's stepped on sticky tape, and wants it _off right meow,_ being tackled and banished by a massive toad with some weird...kanji, I think they're called? on a cloth around it, who in turn vanished in a puff of smoke.

One of the stars shading a sickly green as it swelled to the size of the Moon, and dipping behind a massive structure, taller than the Sears-er, Willis-Tower, before a small group of people at its base entered. This also left my vision, as the view spun aside.

Four crystals appearing, then four more, and again four times more, all varying in sizes and shapes from SUV-sized polished and faceted gems to rough translucent fancy rocks the size of a three-story condo, and down to shards you could easily carry in your pocket. These surrounded me, dancing like snowflakes in the...solar wind, I guess? I was never naturally poetic.

Finally, a woman appearing, serene and dressed in white. There is a tiara in her hair, and earrings with purple gems; the crystals, leaving me, now flocking towards her until an abjuring wave cause them to halt and bow before her. She speaks to me, her gray eyes intense: "You must defeat the deluded one. Stop the abomination from devastating more of my warriors' worlds." She tilts her head fractionally, and with a comforting smile continues, "You will be given a new body, suited to the dangers you will face. When you awaken, come to grips with your new situation quickly, for events will not wait for you.

"I cannot place you before the delusion was formed, though any changes would be most effective there. Chaos has locked that Time to me; yet you must do what you can where you can, how you can. I fear his allies plot to deny me access to my best warriors, world by world. This must not be permitted – you must stop it here, on the world yours calls Gaia.

Light pooled at her feet, flowing from the crystals; at her beckoning, it rose up and spun around her and into her hand like an eager, trained puppy, then flew into...me, I guess. The place from which I perceived the world around me, though I had no body, still. The flash washed my vision out with white, before fading back to the empty starfield.

Her voice remains. "Adjustments have been made so that you can control your new body naturally. They may take some time to settle. Now, go, think, fight; live and do not die before you are done." Her royal stance seemed to falter for a moment, as she added, "I...am truly sorry to drag you into this. "

Her voice fades away. Consciousness swells, and awareness thereof. I think, therefore I...wait, I already _was_, and I don't remember thinking then. Meh, think about it later, no sense in putting Descartes before da horsin' around, eh?

These stars are alien, I think. There are no constellations I can recognize, no great glowing lanes of dust, or ways of thousands of glowing balls. No rhyme or reason, not like a structured galaxy. Maybe a globular cluster? Nah, they're too far away for that, more like...I don't know. Why am I thinking about this? What is this? W-where am I, I was walking home off the bus and… What were those visions? Great, I'm hallucinating and I'm panicking and and urrgh.. okay, try to calm down, center yourself. Nothing is here to harm you right now, just focus on...okay, no breath to focus on, not a problem not a problem. Um,choose a star, I guess, and …

Okay, that one's quickly getting bigger. It's not quite on-center, I guess I'm not going to crash into it. Maybe. I hope. Not a fan of 13th degree burns, they tend to disassociate my molecules and fuse my atomic nuclei. Y'know, just for...future reference.

Who was that woman?

That's interesting...a planet. Hey, it looks Earth-like. Ish. Hard to tell from here, could just be huge amounts of green algae. Algae-like stuff, floating in a water ocean?

Nope, that bit over there looks kinda three-D.

That whooshing noise is getting loud.

The last thing that crosses my mind is, _If I don't have a body right now, is a collision worth an oh sh-_

…

…

…

* * *

"Hey. Wake up, sleepyhead. Come on." An annoyingly cheerful young woman's voice is the next thing I hear.

"Urgh….ugh." _I think I just reentered an atmosphere without a parachute or heat shielding, __you can __gimme five minutes..._

"We don't have time, the Shin-Ra might still be after us, if you forgot!" A man's voice, this time. I guess I'm waking up more now, I notice his baritone sounds strained.

"We haven't seen any sign of them since we left. This far out, it's more likely they'd use force in Kalm to intercept us when we get there" A second man, more of a mid-high tenor, reasoned with him. "And they wouldn't send a lone woman, even a Turk." _Someone else is lying here? And, they don't see me? __I...ugh...just...get up already._

My eyes flutter open, and immediately slam shut "Brraiht..." I croak out. _Bright light, BRIGHT LIGHT! _My arm was a bit sluggish as I raised my hand to shield my eyes, but it was enough to let me blink them open again and try to look around.

"She's waking up, don't crowd her," ordered the first voice. I squint at her first; as my eyes adjust, I can make out her brown hair, tied back with a ribbon into a loose braid. Her eyes are as green as mine and speak of concern and relief. She smiles softly, and tells me, "Easy, now. You had a few cuts and bites from… well, never you mind that. What's important is that you're alive." _I was injured? Well, besides the whole dying thing? Don't think about it, focus on now._ "Can you sit up for me?"

I can see well enough now, as long as I don't look at the sky. I try to comply with her request—it takes a moment, it's not just my arm that feels like I've been asleep too long—and push myself to a sitting position. I feel...off, somehow, but I ignore it in favor of pulling my legs under me. "Don't try to stand up yet. You okay?"

"Yeah, I think so. Just...a sluggish," I admit. "It's passing." _Something's off. _"Hmm." _My voice isn't right._ I touch the base of of my throat and swallow clear it. "Wee~iirrd."

"Um, good?" She stood up, and stepped back to brush the dirt off her skirt. "Can you tell us your name?" I could hear the baritone grumble again. "Oh, be nice, Barrett! We've been walking for two hours, we can afford a break."

I pretend not to hear her question, for the moment, still distracted. My voice isn't nearly so resonant as I remember, and – a more obvious clue that something has gone *very* weird indeed – the forearm across my chest is sending sensations that make me look down and widen my eyes.

I seem to have breasts.

Last time I checked, I was a male-type dude, and while I didn't exactly maintain a body-builder physique I had a firm belief that dudes should never be A-cups if we could avoid it.

Or bigger, as the case is here.

Huh. Okay then, coulda warned me, Starfield Lady.

I look around and see three people standing in front of me—the lady who was kneeling over me; another with...huge tracts of land, black hair, and a skirt to match the hair (in color, by no means in length); a man with something large and metal shining in one hand, both standing a few feet away and to the side of whoever it was talking to me.

"...you sure you're okay?" This time it was the black-haired woman.

"L-less sure than I was a second ago, but," I paused to move my toes and fingers, removing my hand from where, in my shock, it had slid down, "I'm not feeling more than pins-and-needles in my left arm, and I feel all my other limbs and toes, so I guess I'll live?" I shook my head to try and clear the distraction.

"Good!" This time she sounded more cheerful. "Well, if you're not feeling dizzy..." she paused, and I shook my head in the negative, "go ahead and try standing up, but take it slow. Cloud'll catch you if you fall."

Turns out, Cloud didn't quite catch me. Snickering bastard.

* * *

Author's Note:

First published fanfic, but not my first story ever. I'm quite rusty at writing, though, so constructive criticism is appreciated.

I've been a fan of Final Fantasy for a long time now, ever since I got a couple hours into the Gameboy Advance version of Final Fantasy VI. That's still my favorite, even after I finished VIII and IX, much of V, and up to the final dungeon of IV DS. I've played bits of X – sorry, but _fuck blitzball _– and even started XII at one point before moving on to Shin Megami Tensei titles.

VII, though, seemed too similar to VI in many ways. You have your insane villain who tries to become a god and destroy the world, advanced technology (though now circa-1995 and not steampunk tech), some characters who're designed solely to pander to fans and otherwise nearly uninteresting [Mog and Umaro in VI, Yuffie (she could've been so much more), animal mascot Cait Sith (with some ShinRa guy controlling him, I know) and emo-with-some-reason Vincent in VII]), a character named after a big ball of dirt (Terra (US versions only, I know), Aerith), a first boss you have to be careful when you attack (Lightning Whelk/Guard Scorpion, AND the Wind Raptor in V), and getting hyped into being overpriced even a decade later. So, with that conception in mind, I never got around to playing it.

I tried playing Crisis Core a few years ago, but the Digital Mindwave interrupting my gameplay at uncontrollable times broke my suspension of disbelief and gameplay rhythm far too often for me to finish it; I gave up right before the Angeal battle.

Seriously, it's basic game design: if you're going to make an action-RPG, you need to be able to have some degree of control over your character's actions at all times. The awkward system of switching between Attack and a bunch of materia, and then back, didn't help matters much, but I still got used to the running-around trick while doing that. It wasn't _fun_, but it wasn't usually too much trouble.

I've also never played Before Crisis (the No Export For You cellphone game) or Dirge of Cereberus, but I have—unfortunately–watched Advent Children Complete. I've watched the Last Order OVA, but that's not canon anymore.

As far as I'm concerned in this story, only Crisis Core and FF7 proper are canon, and the former is secondary at best. "Zack" existed, was a country boy with waaay too much energy who found himself attracted to a spirited flower-selling slum dweller in a nice dress; after some nasty experiments sorely lacking in proper control groups and double-blind testing, let alone ethics, he escaped with a semi-comatose Cloud and was murdered outside of Midgar by a Shin-Ra army even as the Turks were trying to find and save them. Anything outside that may be referenced, it may not.


	2. Meating the Gang

Chapter 2

#import COPYRIGHT_OWNERSHIP_DENIAL

_Italicized text sentences are character's thoughts, _italicized text _inside_ a sentence is just emphasis. Regular text is narrative. "Dialogue is in quotes, of course."

* * *

I came to again inside a tent, lying on my back on a partly-open sleeping bag with a damp cloth on my forehead. _Unfamiliar ceiling. If you can call it a ceiling._

Remembering what happened when I tried to stand before, I decided to take things even easier this time and restricted myself to gently kicking off the sleeping bag and pushing myself up on one elbow. The somewhat cool air was a balm to my slightly-overheated skin, and the sensations caused me to take a quick glance down at myself.

Shorter. slightly more muscular legs and softer skin than I remembered met my eyes, which widened in shock when I processed the differences. A double-take to confirm it, and raising a hand in front of my face to compare the lengths of my index and ring fingers brought back and verified the memory from when I woke up before: this is not the body I remember.

Torn between covering my mouth in shock, and dropping back down in disbelief, my hand just shakes in front of me for a few moments before I shake myself. _Don't worry about it right now; maybe worry about the bruising and bandages instead? _I sit up, pulling my legs towards my torso, and gingerly apply pressure near it to see how bad it hurt. A slight grimace flares momentarily with the discomfort, but it's not as bad as it could be. _Then again, anything's better than a gut incision, in comparison._

I decided to leave it be, and started looking around the small, two-person tent for something to wear – someone had removed all but my underwear before, and I wanted to be presentable before bothering anyone. Spying a canvas backpack in the corner with a sturdy-looking shirt and pants, the latter with what appeared to be dirt, grass, and dried-blood stains, I pulled myself over to it and opened it. _Jackpot!_ Several sets of what seemed like traveling clothes were inside, and I quickly donned a tank top and, much less quickly, a pair of loose pants – thank parallel development for jeans! And comfortable, cargo pocket jeans, too, not skinny-jeans, thank $DEITY – and grabbed a clean pair of socks from the bag.

_I really hope this is 'my' bag, or this is going to be awkward. Er. Awkwarder._

While I was doing this, I was thinking about who I'd woken up around before. I hadn't quite put the pieces together until she said his name, but between the woman with dark hair calling the man "Barrett" – okay, yep, that's not something metal IN his hand I saw before– and mentioning a man named Cloud, it was pretty obvious what was going on.

I was surrounded by fanatically-dedicated cosplaying roleplayers in _really_ realistic costumes, even down to dirt and grime in the cloth. _Neat. __Wait, that's a__n easy __explanation, sure, but it doesn't explain my "makeover", which apparently is at least _skeletal structure deep _holy_ shit. Or should that be Holy shit?

Either way, I really want to know what the hell is going on. How am I here, wherever this "here" is? It _looks_ enough like the world of Final Fantasy 7, but by definition that is a videogame. Fiction.

I distracted myself for a moment from this silly train of thought by going through the pockets of the dirty pair of pants, and transferring them to the fresh pair. There wasn't much: a resealable packet of moist handwipes, several small plastic bottles shaped like round-bottom flasks from a chemistry lab labeled "Potion – 10% More Free!" containing two mouthfuls of cherry-red liquid about the viscosity of tomato sauce; two more smaller, square bottles containing a pale yellow, watery liquid and labeled, "Yuna's General Antidote", and a bottle of eyedrops of some kind. All looked like something you'd find at a typical drugstore, too – very nicely machine-printed labels, a lot number and expiration date, doseage recommendations, and (in the antidote's case) a cautionary note that it does not prevent or treat hangovers. Whoever made these did a good job, very dedicated...

_...okay, this is ridiculous – I wake up in a field, after being hit by a truck in the middle of a city's downtown, and I'm not in the body I remember… and I'm clinging to the premise that reality is the way I thought it was. Idiot. *sigh* Okay, now to start working through this properly._

Let's assume for reasoning's sake that this is the actual world of Gaia, as depicted (or close thereto) in Final Fantasy 7. I'm...probably useless here. Another mouth to feed, an arm that has no experience fighting...going up against an end-boss who can summon attacks that put holes through gas giants, if you believe the US version of the attack animation scene. A villain who went nuts after multiple nights reading a wacko's notes, without sleep, and then slayed an entire village. Oh, and iirc had two of his only friends, fellow genetically-messed-with child-SOLDIERs, go nuts before then, leaving him all alone in the night. And was then sent falling into the Lifestream, to his apparent death.

A teenaged child-SOLDIER zombie who has been (and is being) whispered to by the head of an Eldritch Abomination (one who single-handedly nearly wiped out an entire species of sapient magic-users, and would've destroyed the planet and called it a Tuesday), and will manipulate another mad-science experiment into helping him call down a world-killing Meteor.

And, at a minimum, I've got to live in this world, knowing what's going to happen.

_Fuck my life…stream. Heh._

Anyway, it's stressing me out anyway, and mental stress, like swooping, is Bad. _Think about it later. Some water sounds nice about now._

The tent flap opened at this point, and the orange-red head of a lion-dog-thing poked inside, before withdrawing quickly when it saw me up and awake. A minute later, and after I realized that was probably Nanaki and not some vicious mindless predator coming to finish me off, 'Aerith' properly moved the flap aside and ducked inside, quietly calling back to someone outside, "Oh don't worry too much, she'll understand after we explain it." She turned her head back to me and _she is prettier in person. _"Hey there. You really shouldn't be exerting yourself before I've given you another looking-over, you know." She stomped over, half-hunched from the tent's low ceiling, with a mild scowl on her face, and I looked away to where I had been carefully lacing 'my' hiking boot. _Pretty intense, more like. Jeez..._

Before I could say anything, 'Tifa' and the lion appeared at the entrance, blocking any escape I might've conspired to make from the situation – not that I would've. The lion somehow looked pained, as if he'd been urged into a situation he wasn't in the mood to be in. "I hardly think this is appropriate timing for my appearance!"

"Too bad, I'm not having one of us jumped by a stranger, injured or not." _I appreciate trying to whisper that, lady, but I still hear you...wait, I hear you and-_

Raising my now widened eyes, I stared at the lion. Dog. Whatever the heck.

'Aerith' – and I'm definitely putting more weight behind these people possibly being who they're dressed and acting like, now – waved a hand in front of me. "Um, hello? I asked if you wouldn't mind sitting back and letting me check how you're healing?"

_We're sorry, but the human you're trying to reach is trying not to freak out right now, please leave a message after the beep._ I give a weak wave at everyone– "Um, s-sorry…was a bit lost in thought." I hesitated a moment, before reciting the line I'd come up with before y'all out there reading showed up again_,_ "Also, uh, not to sound rude but what's with the talking lion? I was thinking like anamatronics like I've seen at Golden Saucer but I've never seen one whose mouth moves so in-sync with speech an-and definitely not one so lifelike..." I trail off, _I hope my acting isn't too bad...and that I didn't come off as speciest now that I think of it._

Tifa and Nanaki don't quite freeze as they process my apparent rationalization, but the look on her face is comical for a moment. A clearly shaking with laughter Nanaki answers the question: "I assure you, I am flesh and bone same as you. I volunteered to keep an eye on you until you woke up, and watch for signs of delirium, since I don't have watch tonight. I'm not going to hurt you – humans don't taste very good." _A joke? Yeah, probably. I deserved that._

"Heh, funny. Thank you for doing that." Not knowing how exactly to smooth it over, I instead opt to smile and act like it didn't happen until I could think through a better apology; I sit back as 'Aerith' had asked. I pluck the cloth from the bag, where it fell when I sat up. "Was I feverish or something? I feel fine."

"Yeah, you were a little warm when you collapsed. Not really enough to be worried about, but we didn't want to be taken unawares if it turned worse," Tifa explained. "You said you 'felt fine' before you collapsed, too, so don't take any chances!" _Note: __Serious-face Tifa is seriou__s, and Agreeing-nod Aerith is no less._

"Well! Just hold still a moment, open your eyes and watch my hand, okay?"

"Huh?" I'm oh so intelligent right when I wake up in the morning, don't you know. Or, whatever time it is now.

Aerith didn't quite roll her eyes, but it was kinda implied in her expression and head tilt. "So I can check you over, silly!" She held up one hand, with her index, ring, and pinky fingers extended and asked how many I was holding up. She seemed satisfied with my answer, and my eyes flickered away from hers again. Around her wrist was clamped a dark metal band with three holes, each about two inches round, filled with glassy spheres to match – faintly green, a pale indigo, and the last yellow and glowing from about the center half of the volume. She slowly waved it from one side to the other and my eyes followed it. "Just a _Sense_ materia, don't worry. Hmm…stretch your arms out for me."

I do so; Aerith waves the materia down each arm, slowing at the faded slash marks on the left. _So, Sense is more like a medical scan here? _"Okay, okay, looking good so far. Now your legs..."

I dutifully stretch my legs out parallel to each other for her inspection. The damage was worse here – my left leg was still bruised from what she explained was impact which I later realized would've broken bone back home, and something had tried to hamstring my right – and apparently was only just stopped by the now-cracked hardened leather worn by whoever this body...belonged...to. _Great, trying not to think of that._

I guess it showed on my face, because Tifa piped up as she was picking in her shoe, "Not a fan of physicals?"

_Uh, _"I'm fine with them, just not with what makes them necessary." I shrug.

"Oh?"

I gesture pointedly at the aforementioned limb. "I generally try to avoid inconvenient injuries. Or any at all, for that matter."

"Please do, makes my job here easier." Aerith, of course. I looked back at what she was doing – _knowing how to do this may prove useful_ – and saw the yellow glow wink out. Aerith extracted a gasp of quick, stinging pain when she removed the bandage; she then twisted a ring around the indigo materia in her bangle and it popped out, before she palmed it in the other hand. She lightly touched her bangle-wristed left hand to the bruise, and the green orb lit up.

You know that stinging sensation you get with some shots, a few moments after they've already removed the needle? This was about the same intensity as a Hep A vaccination's sting, but instead _pleasant _like the first bite from a fresh-baked muffin or a good batch of buckwheat pancakes, and a feeling that all is going to be okay, localized to the area of your injuries.

"Ahh..." I sigh. Aerith smirks happily for a moment, but she maintains concentration on the...spell? That's going to take a bit to get used to thinking of as a real thing, too.

"Okey-dokey, that's that bit sanitized and healed. It'll still be a bit off-colored for a few days, I think, but the muscle bruising" _yikes _"should be good enough to walk on for now. The other leg's not as bad off – you had some good armor! What little got through should _Cure", _she winked here – a punner after my own heart, "itself in a few days. You, or one of us, can chill the wrap every now and then to keep the soreness down, or just apply some menthol. Just try not to carry too much weight. Guess your staff will be handy, huh? It's a little light but sturdy and grippable, just the thing. If it starts twinging at all, Cloud's a great bodyguard, I'm sure he won't mind you leaning on him," she winked again.

"Yeaah, great." _I'd really rather not. __And sounds like Ms. Sniffy McDisapproval over there...oh. She nodded, guess she reconsidered? Cross that bridge..._"m'I done?"

"Well, you'll want to wrap it, like I said, but yep, all done!" She sprang to her feet, narrowing remembering the low tent ceiling in time to avoid embarrassment. "Just hang back with me if we run into anything."

_Eh?_ _Oh, right. More monsters._ "Uh, well, if you're done, I need to use the restroom, sooo..." I donned a sock on my still-unclad foot, before reaching for the boots.

"Oh! Right, the essentials are right out by the rocks, the Lady's hole," Aerith nose crinkled involuntarily, "is on the other side. Can't miss it!" She then ducked back outside, with a nod to Tifa, who returned it.

Tifa gestured at the green canvas bag in the corner a bit languidly. "We found your stuff tossed aside, looks like that part wasn't bothered much. Your food bag was torn open," she explained. "Now, a few rules." She waited for me to stop lacing my boot and look at her before continuing. "One, never wander off alone in the field, not even for bathroom breaks. I'll give you privacy, but I'm not letting you get yourself-"

I couldn't resist: "Get caught with my pants down?"

"Yes, that." _Okay, don't interrupt Serious-face Tifa. _"Two, do _not_ ask if we're there yet, unless you want a slap to the head, and I _won't_ hold back much. Just ask Barret. Three – and these should be obvious – don't pick fights we can avoid, and four, watch your targets. Aerith will have enough going on without healing up after friendly-Fire. Good?"

"Pretty obvious." I agreed. "Now, if anything else can wait: I have _shit_ to deal with." I finished tying the other boot and stand. Unfortunately, I stumble a bit as I do so, so my dramatic exit is completely ruined.

Ah well, I'll just pretend I didn't hear her noise of disapproval...or the snicker.

* * *

**One Smelly Weirdness Later**

I guessed that this world probably rotated like Earth, perhaps even the same direction, but I thought it better to just ask what time it was once we got back by the tents. There were three of them set up, all camouflaged to roughly blend into the plains we seemed to be in. Another indication I really was a ways from home.

Tifa piped up, "It's actually dinnertime, I'll bring you some stew. Wait here, in your tent." Nanaki kept an eye on me from some feet away while she walked downwind and around one of the other tents to the makeshift 'campfire' – a smokeless burner, so I'm not sure why they made the effort, didn't want to bother hungry people with the smells of cooking, perhaps? – and when she returned she waved, revealing the two metal camping bowls in her hands, with a spoon rising over the rim of each.

I gave the bowl a wary glance. Stew generally meant meat. "Um, what kind of stew is this?"

She shrugged, "Kalm Fang, some canned vegetables." _Yay._ "Sorry, it's what we have." She sounds annoyed, I guess my thought showed on my face. _Of course she's annoyed, don't look a gift...chocobo in the beak. Make your own food later if you're going to be uptight about it here._ "Careful, it's hot." She set in on level part of the hard ground in front of me, where I sat on the now rolled-up bag.

"U-um… thanks for the food." I pick it up and stir it a bit to cool it off. _Just ignore the taste, you did it for __over__ a decade, you can put up with it now. _I blew on a spoonful and sipped the broth. _...actually isn't quite so bad, __but __it's no lentil stew._"Not bad. You make this?" I fake a smile. I'm good at faking smiles, the trick is to make sure you crinkle your eyes slightly, you see.

"Well, I'm glad you like it," she beams. "Barrett did most of the actual cooking, but I prepped the ingredients."

"Huh. Didn't take him for the cooking type." _Ignore the meat, ignore the meat… _I take bite. It's hot enough to not taste it very well. "He's the guy with the gun thing, right? The one who that girl with the braid griped at?"

"Yeah, that's Barret. The 'girl with the braid' is Aerith, and I'm Tifa." She sat back on the sleeping bag Nanaki had been lying on before. "The, heh, 'talking lion', goes by Red," she continued, "and the other guy's Cloud."

"Alright. Barret, Aerith, Tifa, 'Red', and Cloud." _Well, shit, either I've had a complete break from reality, or….I've been broken from my reality. Heh heh heh._ I take another sip from the bowl I've been idly stirring. _I guess the polite thing here is to give her my name? I'll get even more weird looks if I go by __̌ϫ┴ ≡≡. I guess the one good thing about having had waaay too much time to think of unlikely scenarios is having decided on a feminine name. _

"Call me Beth."

* * *

We talked for a bit as we ate – the usual "where're you from", "what were you doing out here alone, you were pretty beaten up!", and other sorts of questions you ask someone you find knocked out in the middle of grassy knoll-where. I've read enough self-insert fics from multiple fandoms to know that making up a solid story takes time and a _lot_ of lying, and usually falls apart in the end. At the same time, I couldn't just tell her, "I'm a dude from a parallel and nonmagical world. Oh, and you and Nananki and everyone else are fictional characters in a videogame there! P.S., never EVER let Aerith go off by herself or with just Cloud." either. Not without some evidence... and none of my stuff came with me, so that's not really available.

In retrospect, I probably could've gotten away with part of that and had it passed off as delirium, but then I'd probably get dumped off in Kalm asap for medical care, and from what my script here says, There Are No Therapists is in as full effect here as it was in the game. Things wouldn't have turned out well for me in that scenario, either, if Hojo heard about me.

As it stood, I was pretty vague about where I was from – "It's complicated and painful, I don't really like to talk about it. Sorry..." – but got through it without saying anything that was a complete and knowing lie. I was on my way to Junon for work (Sephiroth'll show up there), I had no idea what had laid me out for the Kalm Fangs to munch on (true), and I was _really _grateful they'd found me before the Kalm Fangs had settled which one got first picks at the ten-piece Beth Bucket (very true). "I'd rather keep my drumsticks attached, thank you.", as I put it.

Dunno if I would've gotten away with it if it had been anybody else, someone a bit more experienced at interrogating people, but Tifa had other things on her mind right then. She was worried about Cloud's distant behavior and how long he'd gone without sending so much as a letter home.

The group wasn't stupid, of course – Tifa was the one to sleep in the tent that night, and as I gathered later, Nanaki slept outside in line-of-sight of our tent's entrance. Both were light sleepers, and neither could be disarmed if I proved to be a Shin-Ra spy with really good acting skills and a naturally-high temperature. You couldn't be too careful, even if you had a loudmouth with no sense of subtlety leading your 'terrorist' group.

* * *

**The Next Morning**

Aerith was even _more _annoyingly cheerful in the early morning. "Alright you two~, it's morning here in the Midgar Plateau so make like Wutai crops! RICE and SHINE!" She's also adept at catching thrown pillows and tossing them smack back at you, just so you know.

"Rrrugh. Are you always this grating in the morning?" Tifa groused. "I mean, Barret did tell me you weren't allowed to wake him anymore, but _Shiva..._"

"Yep!" Aerith didn't look the slightest bit apologetic. "It's Cloud's turn to make breakfast, so get it while it's warm!"

"Great, rehydrated MREs again." Tifa sat up and _okay yeah, __women__ back-stretching is still __mild__ly__ distracting, good to know._

I pushed myself up with a groan and pushed the sleeping bag off; the air was cool and humid. Tifa and Aerith both looked me over. "Mornin'-morning! Sleep well?"

"Mmm...well enough, maybe too mu-" I broke off with a yawn. "Too much. What time is it?"

"Time to wake up, that's what time." Aerith ducked in and knelt next to me as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes.

The rest of the early morning proved...mildly interesting. Thankfully, AVALANCHE had packed toilet paper, a collapsible shovel, waterless shampoo, and some bars of soap in their bug-out kits. Seems Marlene insisted on _scented_ soap, too, so Barrett smells like daffodils, and a little less intimidating. _I owe you, little girl._

As for breakfast, I don't care what the Shin-Ra MRE ingredients label says, there is no way these are eggs.

* * *

The camp itself wasn't much. There had been enough concern about being visible from the air that no fire was set – the stew had been cooked entirely over a small butane burner, smoke-free and easily put out if need be. Three tents were set up about eight feet apart, both set in the shade of a large rock outcropping. The aforementioned "Lady's Hole" was downwind on the other side, while the Men's was apparently among a small stand of trees poking above the savannah of Midgar Plateau.

AVALANCHE returned the rest of "my" stuff as they packed up the camp. There wasn't much for me to do, and Aerith insisted that the day's walk would be more than enough strain without my helping take down the canvas tents, so I was left to clean up the wrappers and other garbage from breakfast, and to "re"-equip myself. It wasn't much of interest – a walking staff, as previously mentioned, with a single materia slot, and an armlet made of an almost opalescent silvery metal. Cloud later told me it was mythril. It had a pair of linked slots and padded with what appeared to be wool.

Yeah, I ended up talking to Cloud. I managed to make a quip about not usually falling for people before I even properly meet them, so hurray for not looking completely lacking in wit? Cloud did that anime-esque embarrassed head-scratch gesture of his. Or was it Zack's? I don't know.

Once I was done with cleanup, I repacked 'my' bag and had a quick look-through. Aside from having some clean (and dirty) changes of traveling clothes, and the most basic of toiletries, pads (I really am not looking forward to that ill-designed bloody bullshit), a journal and mechanical pencil (score!), two waterproof flashlights, fire-starting kit, rain gear, a sleeping bag (they dug mine out of the bag...I'm most definitely NOT a fan of people going through my stuff, but being annoyed when I didn't yet consider it my stuff? That's a new one on me) and...well, have you ever seen those Boy Scout manuals diagrams of hanging a tarp over a rope, suspended by two sturdy sticks? Apparently 'I' thought that would be a good-enough solution. _Does Gaia _not_ have ordinary-sized snakes and mosquitoes?_ There were also two materia in the bag, all of which had that glassy-with-gem-core look I guessed meant they were low-leveled. I pulled them out, and thought about putting them in the armlet._ If this is anything like the game, they'll weaken me physically, and I'm pretty defenseless already. On the other hand, I'm not that strong to begin with, so-_

_Wait, right, not my body, I have no frickin' clue how strong I am, except that I'm not having issues with walking or handling things. Which is a whole can of worms on its own! How much was my mind fucked with *besides* hacking my coordination?! Aaargh!_

_...Fuck it, I'll ask someone what kind of these are and how to use them later. _With that, I stuffed them in one of my cargo pockets and moved on to the wallet.

Apparently, whatever Random Omnipotent Being(s) decided to land me here were nice enough to land me in a person with about 458 gil to her name, was a frequent blood donor (type O-), and whose name really was Beth. Elizabeth Renault, anyway, age 26, from... _Nibelheim? As in destroyed hometown of two of the party members Nibelheim!?_

…_.._

_OH YOU COCKSWADDLING, DUCK-MOLESTING, NARRATIVE-CONFLICT-MONGERING, ENTROPY-DAMNED MOTHERF-_

* * *

Author's Note:

As TVTrope's article on FF7 states, Meteor's possible devastation is never quite specified. It could be " anywhere from global-scale mass-extinction to planetary destruction". Given the Lifestream's stated property of giving life to the world and **everything** in it, and how it can wipe out all life on the planet via Omega Weapon and leave if said planet is in danger of being destroyed (according to Dirge of Cerberus), the Lifestream leaving would be a Class 6 Apocalypse on its own.

On the other hand, in FF7 we only see the "regular" WEAPONs deployed, not Omega Weapon from _Dirge of Cerberus _ so clearly the Lifestream doesn't think the planet would be a write-off if Meteor impacted, so no Class X (Planetary-Scale Physical Annihlation), and probably not a Class 6 of its own.

Slight revisions April 27, 2019. Nothing changing the story in any way, shape, or form, just smoothing some rough spots.


	3. Serious Shopping Story

Chapter 3

#import COPYRIGHT_OWNERSHIP_DENIAL

TRIGGER_WARNINGS="Superstition mockery":$GLOBAL_TRIGGER_WARNINGS

* * *

Traveling is boring and unpleasant.

Perhaps you would disagree and claim it's a load of fun, seeing new places and meeting new people?

I'll counter that by pointing out that 1) you almost certainly traveled by plane, bus, car, or some form of bike, motorized or otherwise, and not on foot, 2) you weren't tripping over packs of half-starved predators and ghost-possessed motorcycles every couple hours, and 3) you just countered an argument about _traveling_ with an argument about _being at the destination you were traveling to_, which is a different discussion altogether.

(I apologize for that hypothetical response, it's a touch rude. Or would be.)

We split into two groups, like in the game. Nobody planned on the paths meeting up before Kalm, but apparently Cloud's group discovered a large area that was mostly mud, and found it wise to track back south. Most of the potential campsites were washed out, as well, so everyone ended up together again. Thankfully the terrain dried somewhat overnight, at least enough that we able to stay away from each other more, but every now and then we'd see the tell-tale Bolt spells of the other band.

I kept safely back with Aerith, as ordered, so when we ran into more half-starved Kalm Fangs, Barret was the first to spot them. It was exciting, terrifying, and sickening… at first. You can only watch somebody do the one-hand Atomic Scissor guillotine to something that _just wants to eat_ so many times before you're jaded.

Of course, I wanted to live to eat too, just like billions upon billions of other critters through history, so I took playing caster and watching Aerith's back seriously. So seriously, like, super cereal yo.

"BALL FOUR!" I didn't have to brace myself much as I swung my staff into the ribcage of a particularly sneaky member of the hyena-like beast, and followed up with an Ice spear through its skull. I still felt a shard of regret killing them, mind you, so I had to try to make things funny.

Vicious comedy is srs bsns.

* * *

You may have heard what some of the traditions of yoga and other Eastern "energy flow" philosophies have to say about "centering oneself in the universe" or "sensing one's _chi_" or other pre-scientific ideas. Well, here, it has externally-verifiable results that are a bit more interesting than blood pressure shifts. It shifts part of the body's Lifestream energy flow to the desired part of your body. The energy – apparently, it's Gaia's replacement for ATP – is referred to variously as _Minerva's __Possibilities_ or _Miraculous Potential_ in older writings, but in this day and age is just referred to as MP.

In conjunction with a command word or, if one wishes greater power behind the effect, an entire chant, this MP can be channeled through a properly-equipped materia or two to release the Planet's wisdom in magic. Our favorite half-Ancient taught me about that. Thanks, Aerith!

Exhibit A: Barret zapping around like a _Hasted _maniac, courtesy of 'my' materia.

I'm pretty sure we're not supposed to have Time materia so early, but I'm certainly not complaining about an extra tool for _not dying_.

Exhibit B: Using Ice materia for personal air conditioning, in the form of chilled towels and canteens. Because _fuck yes_, that's why.

Exhibit C: _Slowing_ Prowlers down to make it easier to give them a face-full of Ice and a staff to the crotch. I do _not_ take people stealing from me kindly!

* * *

"Hey, Barret, I was wondering somethin'." A grunt. "What's up with these Devil Rider guys? I can see riding out in the country if it were nice, but there's nothing out here but dead dirt. And frankly, they're creepy-looking as all hell."

"They're monsters now, what d'ya think? They're trying to kill us!" From the way he throws a mild glare over his shoulder, I think he's going to just leave it at that, but he shakes his head after a moment and continues: "Word is, there used to be a few biker gangs outta Sectors 3 and 6 that liked comin' out here weekends, try and get some open air, get drunk or high, dependin'. Way I heard it, one of the gangs had a split over the drug money, and a turf war broke out. A couple of the other gangs got into the mix and ended up takin' out the druggers." He shifted my bag a bit – he's a big softy at heart, and carried it for me "jus' 'til Aerith says your calf's fully good for the extra weight, mind, then you're hauling it like t' rest of us!".

"Damn. Don't do drugs, kids, eh?"

That got a grin. "Heh, true dat. Anyways, as all t' Mako pollution spread out, most of the gangs either moved farther out for der trips, or just avoided the area entirely. Word says the ghosts of those killed in the turf war possessed their old bikes, and morphed into monsters. Call 'em Devil Riders, after the gang that split off and started the whole mess. $*%^& Shin-Ra occasionally send their cadets on missions to knock the numbers down, protect the route to Kalm, but never really try to take 'em out fer good."

"Huh. What would that take?"

"Ha! A priest, mebbe! Hahaha! Maybe you could melt down the bikes into junk metal, that'd slow 'em down, putting themselves back together!" _Great, thanks for the mockery._

* * *

I managed to get the gist of AVALANCHE's current goals out of Barret the day after that: catch and defeat Sephiroth, though they were a little vague on the why, then stop the new Shin-Ra president. Oh, and stop the Shin-Ra as a whole from "suckin' the life out of the Planet with those $*%^) machines!", can't forget that. He wouldn't let me.

Wasn't all that difficult either, in retrospect; I suppose that, even this early, Barret saw the need to replace the lost Biggs, Jessie, and Wedge. Once I'd primed the pump on him with the Devil Rider explanation, he was easily-enough guided into ranting about how, "these Mako reactors are suckin' the LIFE outta tha' Planet!" and "Shin-Ra's #*% $! old president got what was commin' to him, murdering everyone in Sector 7! I swear, I'm goin' back. I'm gunna go back for my Marlene!" and all. Poor man. Pretty sure I saw tears in his eyes before he started shooting at a bird that was completely out of range.

That was about when I gestured to Aerith to back me up… and smacked him, right on the arm. "You REALLY don't do subtle and _quiet_, do you? Gunfire carries! Let's not go wasting ammo and drawing attention if we don't have to." He stood there, shaking, and I scrambled to think of the right words to soften it: "I understand... you want to make sure she's okay. But… she'd probably give you a right long lecture if she found out you were taking 'stoopid chances and bothering a poor defentzless bird', right?"

He snorted, then sagged. For a moment, I could see the weight he was carrying. "Heh. Yeah. Yeah, you're probably right." He looked back up at the bird, and shielded his eyes with the other hand to follow its path east. "'Stoopid chances', eh."

Aerith gave me a dazzling smile when I sheepishly glanced over at her, before shaking her head in bemusement and leading us on.

_I really wish I were better with people, there had to be a __less-__angry-__Hermione__ way to pull that off._

* * *

We arrived in Kalm the next morning, not long after the dew had finished evaporating from the grass, and met up with the remainder of AVALANCHE at the Inn. The moment the three of us in our group arrived, Tifa handed out a few flip-phones – sorry, PHSs –with everyone's numbers already programmed in. There wasn't one for me, of course – why would there be? These things do cost money, and Tifa had no way to know whether I'd be joining them permanently.

Well, Aerith told everyone how I'd "bitch-slapped some sense into Barret" and told Tifa, in no uncertain terms, that "she's on her way to Junon, anyway, so she's coming with us!", but that's not exactly a basis for permanency!

Anyhow, I guess Tifa made heavy use of the Steal materia in their fights, because Cloud had sold off _a LOT _of Ethers. After divvying up supply-purchasing chores, and agreeing to meet up again in two hours, everyone split up again to buy new equipment.

* * *

I decided to stick with Tifa as she shopped; I'd eventually confessed to her at camp that I was a vegetarian; meat tastes much better than it did before I...arrived here, but my ethical concerns haven't been fully addressed. She'd rolled her eyes about it at first, then seemed Confused, but after a short back-and-forth that I won't recount here (second-hand preaching, much?) she understood both where I was coming from and what I meant by "vegetarian". Apparently, they went by the non-USA meaning here, and she thought it was incredibly stupid in our situation before I explained. Essentially, she ended up handing me some gil and letting me do that part of the supply shopping myself, with some guidelines on how much food we'd need for seven travelers.

Canned vegetables, dried fruit, lentils and something close to quinoa, cans of pinto and green beans that looked rather different than I remembered, and a traveler's spice set made it into my cart. I even found some Wutaiian ramen and various friendly flavorings, but there wasn't much and it was much more expensive than ramen from home...which is to say it cost twice as much, and thus was still cheap. The noodles' bulk and lack of nutrition made me hesitate a little, but I decided it was easy enough to mix with many other things to be worth it.

I grabbed some flour also – I can figure out how to make tortillas, that's not too hard, and the – _yoink_ –baking powder will do enough for biscuits. Powdered eggs, hopefully better than the MRE's excuse – nope, checked with Tifa (under the honest guise of not knowing the brand), they're not much better, put it back. _Hmm...I guess they don't have canola here, or they call it something else. Oh well, vegetable oil it is!_ I finished off with evaporated milk and some cheeses.

Some women do clothes shopping. Me? I do _cooking supply shopping_. Raine Sage in Tales of Symphonia has Ruin Mode, I have _Cooking Mode_.

I do not, however, have _Six-Metric-Craptons-of-Groceries Hauling Mode, _so everyone give Tifa a round of applause for meeting me with a sort of wagon-cart! It could be pushed by a person or two, or hitched up to a Chocobo, and the wheels were designed for all sorts of terrain so we wouldn't need to leave it behind in the marsh ahead.

Aerith and Cloud had taken charge of equipment upgrades. Cloud had no need for a new weapon, and Barret had sold his Cannon Ball off to the Weapons store – "I ain't lugging THAT thing too! 'Sides, these babies we tore outta the Custom Sweepers hit plenty haad.". They picked up a claw weapon for Tifa, and Aerith now had a Full Metal Staff – and absolutely insisted on me taking her old one, when we met again.

_Well, nobody can say I don't coordinate my weapons and armor! I just want to know why being made of mythril didn't make it count as being a fully-metal staff! _

I later silently thanked "Miss Renault" for having chosen a pair of gloves that were tagged as being "Non-Conductive up to 15,000 Ramuh". _No point in playing Thundaga-Rod Groundwire __in a battle__, after all. _I didn't get a reply, so I guess I'm not one of those overshadowing inserts?

Everyone else got a mix of Mythril Armlets like mine or, in the case of Aerith and Tifa, a Carbon Bangle.

After our little self-gifted Christmas In Whatever-The-Hell-Month, we all got comfortable at the inn, waited nearly twenty minutes past the time we agreed to meet up for Cloud to FINALLY show up, and listened to his story.

You may be disappointed to learn that while Cloud DID visit Tifa's home, and even played briefly on her piano, he either didn't ruffle through her "orthopedic underwear" drawer or wisely decided to leave that out. Thank him for that, that shit's just _embarrassing_, for her, him, AND everyone listening!

I couldn't help but feel bad when he mentioned meeting Tifa's dad. Not only did I remember that the guy would get shiskabob'd, but getting told to stay away? Understandable – conservative country dad doesn't want the combat-trained son of the village's unmarried mother around his teenage daughter – but it still hurts, is a little insulting, to be warned away...and amusing when you remember the girl could probably kick little pre-Mako Cloud's scrawny ass with one hand holding her cowgirl hat on!

When Cloud talked about the picture taken of him, Tifa, and Sephiroth together, I chanced a look at Tifa – she looked perturbed, and maybe a little pale. _I'__m going to talk to her, later. I really __p__robably shouldn't poke my nose in, but… I hate seeing people hurting, and this is leading up to a traumatic point in her life. __Which means that, if I really must bring it up again, I damn well better overthink it or I'll just make things worse._

Speaking of poking my nose in: "Wait, you were already inside the reactor, with mountain winds blowing, and you still clearly heard Tifa huff about not getting to go in?"

He sounded a little puzzled even as he replied, "Uh, SOLDIER enhancements include hearing. I guess the cadet reported it later, too? I don't really remember." _Darn. Was hoping...I dunno._

Tifa turned the same cold glare on me for interrupting that she'd used on Barret minutes earlier. _Brrr, Nibelheim chill!_ Thankfully Cloud continued without prompting and she quickly resumed her laser-focus on what he claimed happened. I didn't interrupt again, and the story hit all the points I remembered. I'll skip recounting it here, you already know what happened.

"What a fascinating story…." Nanaki and I said at the same time, as the rest walked out. I suspect we meant very different things by that – he doesn't know what really happened, and I probably would've only gotten a vague feeling that other parts felt a little off, if I didn't know better.

_Might as well take advantage of the moment of surprise, since we have a brief spot of privacy._ "Hey, Red...I've been meaning to apologize for that first time we met. I was a little out of sorts...and I really don't know how I thought you might be-"

"Do not worry about it," he waved it off with a laugh. "As you said, you were 'out of sorts' and injured among people you didn't know. Some people react oddly to stressful situations. Besides, it was hilarious, and a breath of fresh air to not be assumed I am some mindless beast about to attack. I do think I will want to visit this Gold Saucer in the future, however, if they have such lifelike robots."

_Puppet Cat meets Sorta Cat. They fight crime. _I can't keep the smile off my face as I reply, "Oh, I guarantee you'll find something interesting there. Speaking of..." I'd planned something to set a seed of evidence – there was no way anyone was going to believe my being from _elsewhere_ with some sort of proof I knew things I both _shouldn't_ and _can't_ otherwise – so I walked over to the cabinet by the stairs and opened it. _Yes, it's there!_

It takes bit of awkward stretching and hopping to reach it, but I still manage to grab the Megaelixer there in only _three_ tries. Take THAT, Squaresoft!

"That... is not yours." _Looks like he's starting already!_

"Possession is nine tenths of the law, and I possess it."

"You stole it." _Ouch. _

"You think you can get it back up there? Because I can't. Besides, we're trying to save the world here, going up against a fallen war hero who slaughtered his way through Shin-Ra headquarters, yes? This is far more likely to save lives – OUR lives – with us than it is here, and if we survive we'll likely have enough gil to replace it. And I intend to do so. ...I don't like this either, but there are good reasons."

Nanaki seemed only partly convinced, but he kept his muzzle shut on our way out. Hypocrisy on my part aside, that made me feel worse about the whole thing. _Should've just come back up, with an excuse or something. "Hey, I think something fell out of my pocket, I'm going to check upstairs real quick. __Wouldn't have lost the points gained with Nanaki like a dumbass, either. __Still...seed's planted, I hope._

* * *

**A Tech Note**

The PHS is incredibly...well, hokey, clunky, and primitive. The whole thing's about the size of one of those fruit smartphones back home, but three times as thick and designed in a flip-phone format.

From what little I've seen on our way to Kalm, I suspect that there are very few places outside towns where anything resembling Earth's cellphone towers exist – flying monsters tended to make nests in such things, when ground-bound ones didn't simply destroy the equipment, so maintenance was pricey. These phones work more like a long-range walkie-talkie, or by using a laptop-sized external antenna to connect to one of a few geosynchronous satellites. Bandwidth and latency are terrible in that mode, as you'd expect, and cloudy weather tends to make voice communication drop into a higher-redundancy, lower-bandwidth mode that made some folks hard to understand a word of.

Still, it's smaller than the satellite phones of the 1990s, as it runs off shards of Mako crystal and so doesn't need as giant of a battery to last a long time. A really, really long time – think months, or even a year and a half for some models. More importantly, it's waterproof (up to 100 meters, a stenciled-on message said), and hardened enough that it wouldn't break from falls less than 25 or so meters so long as it was latched shut. Even if it wasn't, well, there was a better than even chance that the worse that would happen was some ugly scuffing and a need to replace the screen protector.

More importantly yet, it has a calendar and a clock, which together revealed that Gaia's time systems were loosely similar to Earths, though counted and labeled differently – the months were merely named "First Month", "Second Month", etc., and they were all 30 or 31 days long; every five or six years, there was a leap week added. I didn't see the sense, and given Gaia's lack of an Internet-equivalent and phone-based ability to access it, I can't research it further; I guess I'll have to find a library to learn more.

The hours of a day were the same, thankfully – as much as I like the idea of a 100-second, 100-minute, 10-hour day, I would look a fool trying to wrap my head around it in practice!

* * *

**Author Note**

So, yeah, Beth's made a slight fool of herself by pulling a Mystery Science Theater 3000 on Cloud's story that way, but it's the only discrepancy she can point out without revealing she knows _far too much_ about what's going on – and in front of a semi-puppet of Sephiroth, to boot!

As for the Megaelixir – yep, that's actually there in the game. Why the equivalent of a budget motel would have one of the most powerful healing items in the world stashed in an out-of-the-way cabinet anybody renting the room could find and take, I have no clue. Gameplay and Story Segregation, amirite?

Oh, and...not a correction, to chapter 2, but more of a clarification: Sephiroth is not actually a teenager. Even in Crisis Core, he's about 20, and he's around 27 in FF7 (according to the Final Fantasy wiki). Beth is mistaken, due to not actually having paid attention to the character ages when she...well, he, then...played FF7, and due to how easily Sephiroth was freaked out and completely changed his self-identity just from reading some books for a few days. Our peculiar SI did play part of Crisis Core, as did I obviously, but not the whole thing, and she doesn't have access to the games or Earth's internet right now to look the info up.

In reality, Sephiroth had been in emotional turmoil since the AVALANCHE Insurgency and the Genesis War, so...for a couple years. His loyalties were upset enough that he told Zack he was considering retiring, before the Nibelheim Incident. Between learning the incomplete story of his creation from Genesis, feeling guilt from refusing his former friend's request to possibly save the latter's life, and reading the misinformation stored in the Shin-Ra Mansion's basement about Jenova (who he'd been told was his mother, rather than Lucrecia), aaa~nd quite possibly some mental prodding from the not-quite-dead Jenova at the top of the stairs inside the reactor...yeah, Sephiroth was mentally unstable at the time. It doesn't matter if you're the baddest mofo on the planet, you're still vulnerable to psychological manipulation.

In short: Beth doesn't know as much as she thinks she does, and she's making some flawed assumptions. :D


	4. Bawk up a second, WHAT?

#import COPYRIGHT_OWNERSHIP_DENIAL

* * *

Chapter 4: Bawk up a second, _WHAT?_

My first impression was that _c__hocobo farms __s__tink._ I'd spent some time around horses, in a stable that apparently hadn't been cleaned thoroughly often enough...but that was more of an earthy-toned sort of manure stink. Chocobo poop is more acrid, and takes longer before you stop smelling it.

We voted to send Cloud in to negotiate for five chocobos to ride, and one that could pull a cart swiftly with both our supplies and Nanaki onboard, but he quickly discovered a problem.

Namely, that he did not care whether we wanted to stay far, far away.

"Whoa, hey now! If _I_ have to smell it, it's only fair that you all join in the fun too!"

I couldn't help teasing him a bit. "Aw, but they'll love you! With that hair, you're practically an honorary chocobo! The rest of us, well, we might not be safe!"

He ignored that. "Look, you folks want to march through the marsh...on soggy feet...getting attacked by flies and mosquitoes...and _never_ get _that_ smell out, that's fine with me. I'm not going to let Sephiroth get further ahead of me, so I'll just get one bird for myself, and you can catch up." He acted quite cheery as he said this, hands behind his head. "Or you can all come with me, enjoy the aroma, and get some for yourselves too. Your choice, really!"

_Yeah, like you're actually going to leave Tifa and Aerith behind like that. _"Fiiine. You've made your point, you ass, let's go already."

"*gasp* Turncoat!" "Betrayer!" Aerith and Tifa cried, not at all serious; Barret just kicked at the ground and grumbled, "If we goin', lets gettit over wi' already!"

Let the record show that Nanaki made a valiant effort, but his more sensitive sense of smell made his nausea worse. Poor guy had to stay outside, and well upwind of both the barn and the outdoor pen.

Of course, life is never simple, even when it would be unpleasant enough without complications.

"...you're a chocobo farm, which doesn't have any chocobos?"

Chocobo Bill was apologetic...and a little defensive. "I'm afraid so. You see, we're a pretty small operation here nowdays, without a bunch of seasonal hired hands to keep things running smoothly. We still have to mend our fences, keep the windmill running for power, grow greens to feed the birds with, all that...and right now, with my son gone to Midgar chasing that no-good cheating wench of a wife of his, we just don't have enough hands to go around!"

"Okay..."

"In fact, all we have at the moment are myself, my grandson, and my granddaughter…bless them, they do their best, but they're way too young for most of this work, and I'm getting too old for this. As if all that weren't bad enough, our swarm broke out of the barn day before yesterday and scattered!" He eyed us, then added, "If you want to borrow some of my chocobos, I'll let you do so for free, but you'll have to catch them. If you'd be so kind as to catch all twenty-five, I'll even harness one up for that cart of yours, and show you how to steer 'em if need be!"

"…...what about the ones out in the pen?" Cloud did not look or sound happy about the delay.

"Sorry, but those don't belong to me. Keeping them here as a favor while Gerald and Gordon are out at their wedding." He caught himself, as if he'd shared something he didn't mean to, "Uh, n-not to each other – they're...brothers, yeah, from a neighboring farm about a half-day southish of here."

"...Whatever." Cloud sighed and facepalmed. I was distracted at that, and just _had_ to look at his sword to make sure it hadn't spontaneously grown a revolver cylinder, so I only caught half of Bill's advice.

"…eaten, you can try without. I would suggest finding my grandson Billy somewhere here on the farm, and get a Choco Lure materia and some greens from him, though!"

* * *

"...you're charging us to do your work for you, kid?"

"If you want to call it that. It's not even half what we charge tourists for the petting zoo, and you're getting free rides out of it to boot, so I think it's a fair exchange." Choco Billy looks about eleven or twelve, and if he was nonplussed by the glowing eyes or giant ass-sword of the SOLDIER in front of him, he didn't show it.

Tifa interjected before Cloud could contradict the aspiring businessman and risk raising the price. "That it is, sir. Could we get, let's see….six of us, but Red might spook them…. let's say thirty bundles of Gysahl Greens?" She looked over at Aerith and I and explained, "That should give the five people out looking five greens each, and a couple spares if we have to try again."

The granddaughter had Barret occupied chatting with her about...I think it was how she cleaned the stalls, so we had to call him a couple times. Aerith, bless her heart, found the barn to be one bit of life she didn't care for – smelly and cramped, with doors keeping you in? "It's like the slums, except I get both foul smells and the loudness of the Planet's life," she whispered. "It's a little overwhelming."

* * *

It took the remainder of the day, and part of the next, to find all the chocobos. Thankfully, we rarely had to worry about hostile animals or...plants...at the same time as catching the birds, but they were still skittish of strangers. Some had stuck together in groups of two or three, and in a group of twelve there were a few young ones. Young ones whose parents were not easily convinced of our lack of malevolent intentions, and we had to come back the next day with some of the others as character witnesses.

Bill was kind enough to let us sleep in the farmhand's house (offscreen from what was shown in the game, of course) overnight; there were enough clean beds there for everyone, and a leaky shower. Thankfully, it seemed lice-free.

Once we caught or persuaded the chocobos, they were much more pleasant to be around than I worried would be the case, as they kept themselves far cleaner than the stalls suggested. They hadn't been in the wild long enough for their characteristic musk to return either, without Gysahl Greens to suppress it. They were also surprisingly intelligent, as you might've gathered from the whole "character witness" thing.

Turns out, there was a reason the farm had the breakout: protest of shitty living conditions. No, I'm not even joking, that's what Aerith's impression had been from them, and the apparent leader of the swarm _nodded_ and _covered it's beak with a wing_ when asked if that was really the case.

Thinking on the depiction of their intelligence in FFV, I'm not really surprised by this, but human-like gesturing language? _smh_

Once we'd convinced them all to gather together on the farm, inside the outer fence but still upwind of the barn, Tifa hurried to the family's home to explain the situation and retrieve them for a little talk.

I can't really give justice to how weird it was, holding arbitration between a flock...er,_ swarm_, of birds and a trio of humans, but between Aerith's somewhat vague advice from the Lifestream, my minuscule expertise with horses, and Choco Bill, Choco Billy, and little Chole's explaining the problems going on, we made good headway communicating the reasons on each side.

The tearjerking revelation that the kids' parents were likely _dead_, as they'd been in Sector 7 when the plate dropped, appeared to garner some sympathy among the swarm. One of the littlest ran over and gave Chole the best hug it could, and judging from its little glare back at the adults the, "Kweh, Kweh warkweh, kwehes! KWEHES!" and the few drooped heads and eyerolls that resulted, I'm _pretty_ sure they got called out as being meanies? I dunno, I don't speak chocobo.

After a few minutes of deliberation, I spoke up. "So...maybe we can work something out, here?" An uncomfortable number of eyes shifted towards me, and I met none of them in an effort to not be overwhelmed. "There are some predators outside the farm, so we can't merely leave the gates open and have everyone running around." One of the birds, who I'd privately named Koko, had a bandaged leg from an encounter we'd rescued her from. "Not separately, anyhow. Perhaps a buddy system – nobody leaves the barn area alone, always in groups of two or three, and never straying over into the food growing field. That would be unfair, if someone ate a bunch of it early, yes?"

Some nods, and – I noticed – several glares from human and bird alike at a plumper specimen.

"When do the farmhands return?" I inquired of Bill.

He scratched at his graying goatee as he thought. "Shouldn't be more than two or three days, from today. Weather's supposed to be fair, so the paths should be passable, and they're on chocobos of course." A jeering "Kwehhrz!" sounded from the back, the origin of which was gently but crisply cuffed by its neighbor.

"So, how about we do this until they return and clean out the barn: mostly free run of the farm, except for the food. Stick together into groups, and mix between them at a couple times a day so nobody gets bored. Appoint a few respected individuals to keep order, with punishment being to stay in the barn until next grouping mix. Play games, have races, whatever, so long as you check with Bill here that nothing dangerous could happen, so he can warn you if you don't see it yourselves – extra eyes always help with that! I chanced looking around, the mood seemed mostly thoughtful, though one chocobo started jumping. "Um...yes? You have an idea?"

Once we unraveled the game of charades that ensued, everyone was very much in agreement: any further game suggestions were to wait until _after the meeting_, but they were welcome. Maybe five minutes were spent by the chocobos deciding which ones among them would be the "squawk leaders".

Aerith's fault on the name there, but I heartily approved, and promised to explain it to the swarm leader later when he looked askance at our laughing.

At the end of the meeting, Bill quietly spoke to us: "Thank you for your help. You know, at first I thought Billy had just left the barn door and fence gates open, and that they'd all come back at nightfall. When they didn't return, I was worried – how would we get them back, with nobody to chase them down? What if they were attacked and scattered? And I never imagined I'd see the likes of all...this," he indicated the semi-organized gathering. He looked at me. "I suppose we got too used to seeing them as beasts, and didn't think it important enough to explain the problems we were facing, or that they'd understand it."

_I'm hardly the one to thank here… _"I only helped with getting a few together – Aerith's the one who put the pieces together about what the problem was! I just...tossed a couple ideas out there."

Aerith nudged me. "Hey, no need to be that humble. You did good!"

"That you did, ma'am. It was good job, all around, but you might've provided the glue to keep us from having to do it again." He shrugged. "Boko there seems to have taken a liking to you, I daresay."

I froze at that name. "Boko?" _I know I named that other one, but I didn't say it! This is crazy…_

"Yeah, he's right behind you."

I turned around to find the large leader of the swarm right behind me. His eyes and nod seemed to communicate something to me: _gratitude, satisfaction. Decision._

He backed up a step, turned his head to the slowly dispersing swarm, and called a brisk, "Kweeh, kweah, ku-kweh! Kweh, kweh!" Five others trotted forward, heads high and bodies tense in a way that spoke of standing at attention. Boko flared a wing towards me, and all of us who'd helped look for the chocobos, and made a pronouncement: "Kweh kweh kweh, kweah kwae kweh. Kweh kweh, kweh kwee kweh!"

I glanced at Aerith, she seemed puzzled too. I turned back quickly, and blinked as all six chocobos stared straight at us, and began to dance.

I was so stunned at the sight of horse-sized chicken-like birds performing something out of Riverdance that when Boko spit up a tennis ball sized red materia at me, I barely caught it. I stared at the...slightly disgustingly coated orb for a moment, before raising my head a moment trying to process what had just happened. I looked at Boko in confusion, and stuttered, "T-thank you…." before it suddenly struck me what I must be holding.

"**You have all earned the right to summon the great hero, my namesake, Boko, and his fearless companion Mog. They shall come to guard you against both your enemies when you call, and tame the howling winds themselves."** I tried very hard to not drop the materia in my shock – I could still the cries of Boko's voice clearly, but the words and meaning sounded _inside my head_. **"The Fat Chocobo watch over you on your kwehst, human, and may you walk on warm sands."**

* * *

"I swear to dog, that bird fucking _winked at me_ after he said that!"

"...I don' gettit. I mean, I gettit, but I don't get why you wiggin' out on t' part."

_I'd have to explain a bit too much. _"...never mind, I'll explain it another time. I probably sound nuts already, talking about voices in my head!" _Um, no offense Aerith! _"From spit-up materia, I mean."

"Speaking of that, did you wash it off?"

"No, Red... I stuck it right on the top of my staff, gullet-mucus and all." I pointed next to me where I'd laid the staff, as we were sleeping the night in the farmhand house again. "Nah, nah, I'm kidding. I wiped it down and washed my hands first chance I got!"

"Good. I do not care to learn whether chocobos smell the same on the inside as on the outside."

"I think I've gotten used to the smell of the birds themselves," Cloud piped in. "These pillows are probably stuffed with chocobo down, come to think of it."

"Huh. I bet they are." I take a suspicious sniff, but either I've gotten used to the smell too, or they process the feathers to remove the odor, because even when looking for it I don't smell anything in particular.

"...uuuugh..can you three stop talking? Ahm tryin' to fall asleep." _Seems Miss Morning Cheer is not so energetic in the evening!_

"Not like you need beauty sleep, but sure." I tease her a little, before flipping onto my side and turning off the dim light on the table. "Night, everyone!"

* * *

**The next morning**

We woke up to the sound of one of those metal triangles being banged around the inside, and a cry of, "Breakfast! Breakfast will be ready in the 'handhouse in about ten minutes!" from Choco Billy.

True enough, it was, spread on the table for everyone. Scrambled chicken eggs, a rasher each of bacon, toasted homemade bread with strawberry jam, sausage, some fruit salad, and biscuits were placed on the table, with empty plates at everyones' chairs. A pitcher of lemonade and plastic jug of orange juice were also present.

"Serve yourselves!" Choco Bill declared, as he began doing so for himself. "We've got milk in the fridge, but if you want any please don't take much. Getting the stuff takes a bit here."

A quiet chorus of joy and surprise sounded from most of the party. We were all more than glad to eat something besides MREs or campfire-style food.

"You must've been up at dawn, to get this all made and get the morning chores done!" I remarked as I served myself.

Bill waved it off, "Not so much, really – that's for farmers with cows. I don't have cows." True, I had seen chickens, a pig, the chocobos, and what I think was a goat, but no bovines of any variety. "Billy takes care of feeding, and since you helped us move the troughs out of the barn last night that didn't take any longer than usual either." He picked up a thick strip of bacon and bit into it. "The fruit salad, honestly, is from a couple days ago. Chloe helped make that before the breakout. Hmm...something wrong with the bacon, or the sausage?"

"Huh? Umm…." _not that isn't wrong with any bacon_, "Not really, I just don't like bacon."

"Don't like BACON?! What, you watching your figure or something?"

I just look up at him with my eyes, without raising my head from my plate. "Sorry, I'm sure it's fine, and I'm sure the sausage is really good," I say that part quickly, "I don't want to make an issue of it, alright?"

He sighed dramatically. "Fine, lady, more for me!" His attempt to reach for it was aborted when a blur made the whole plate vanish. Turns out, Tifa's unarmed skills included grabs...she had a playful smirk on her face as she held the plate level and out of reach.

"Now now, Bill, you should really watch your cholesterol!"

"What?! Hey, doc says my cholesterol is just fine, gimme that before you drop something!"

She rolled her eyes. "I ran a bar, including serving food, I'm not going to drop it." That made me look back up again, but despite tempting fate Tifa safely returned the plate to the table, closer to Bill...and minus a couple strips.

I sipped my juice and just shook my head, amused at the shenanigans. _Thanks, Tifa._

* * *

Nanaki returned from his hunt about the time Tifa and I finished helping with the dish cleanup.

"Hey, N-Red, you do alright? We missed you at breakfast!"

"Indeed, my hunger is sated. I apologize, but I woke up early and was unable to fall asleep again." He hesitated before adding, "Your two-legged utensils are awkward at best, and eating from the plate without them would ruin our host's appetite.'

"Ah, that explains it." _One mystery of life solved!_ "Sorry about the sleep thing, that always sucks."

"Yes."

Tifa spoke up next, "We're about done here, just have a couple more of our 'two-legged utensils' to wash, and the others are...around. Probably stashed our bags back on the cart, saying goodbyes, and such."

"I will ensure nothing was left behind."

"Thanks!" "Mm-hmm!"

* * *

Glad he checked, I'd hate to leave and be a minute away before realizing _I left my staff behind_ and having to double back for it. Happened all the time back home…

Home. I've been managing to not think about it much since I got here, but the bit of domestic life on the Chocobo Ranch made me think about it. I've been here six days now… I have a couple friends back home, and I have little contact with my family due to...issues. Mild ones, mind, just… insidious with a few individuals, and avoiding them means avoiding the family members I like, too. Anyway, my friends are probably getting worried about me not texting them.

Come to think of it, my family probably knows I'm dead. _Shit, Grandma's going to be devastated...Mom too, obviously. Oh well there. Grandpa won't know what to do with himself, my aunt will probably be inconsolable._ I slump in the saddle of the chocobo I'm riding. _And there's nothing I can do to communicate back to them – they don't read fanfiction, so no point in leaving them a message in my thoughts. Hell, I don't even know if the narrative view's on me right now, I'm not Deadpool, crazy-inducing intro notwithstanding._

I shake myself out of my thoughts and look around, trying to maintain some situational awareness. We're traveling around ten miles an hour – half the maximum speed of the chocobos, as we don't want to tire them out.

Bill and Boko chose what I suspect would've been the more easily-bored, and thus problematic to the negotiated solution, birds for our journey – they have a lot of energy, and mine tossed me off early on. He had looked both amused at my rusty, and not-quite-equivalent, riding skills, and apologetic – as if he hadn't meant for me to _actually_ fall off, just be jostled in the saddle a bit. He shook his head after I'd gingerly climbed back into the English-style saddle, and didn't pull anything afterwards.

Aside from when the entire group stopped as one for a rest, and pecked at the bags storing the Gysahl Greens, anyhow. Birds need breaks, too!

I'm terrible at judging distances for the purpose of travel time, so back home I'd relied on Data Hoarder Maps. Here, I basically had to guesstimate- we were told it was thirty miles to the swamp, and we'd been traveling just shy of three hours (according to the PHS' clock), so…._hmm, there are some more trees up ahead, different from the ones we've seen. Water adapted?_

Speculation turned to certainty, and growing fear, as we got closer. Up ahead was the swamp, home of that fanged menace, the god of boa constrictors, that serpentine pimp-slapping jackass known as the Midgar Zolom.

I really hope these chocobos can sprint, because I'm not a fan of being fast food.

* * *

**Author's Note**

Author's Note? You want the Author's Note? _YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE AUTHOR'S NOTE!_

Oh, fine.

I was unsure at first how to depict the chocobos' intelligence, as in FF7 all they're used for is a quick one-way ride to the Mythril Mine, some racing, and a whole bunch of inbreeding to get another form of transportation. I also didn't want to make them too horse-like, as being birds they're descendants of theropod dinosaurs, and thus reptiles, so their social structures could be anywhere from alligator-nonexistent to Australian magpie.

Likewise, their intelligence could be anywhere from a dodo (unlikely, else they'd've been eaten to extinction like the dodo) to a crow.

I eventually decided to say, "cluck it", and based their social personality off the depiction in Final Fantasy V, with some of the grit and intelligence from Final Fantasy Tactics: War of the Lions. They're about as intelligent as dogs, and in the wild have social structures similar to wolves; domesticated chocobos are more socially adaptable, and a degree of parallel evolution has led some human-like behaviors to be adopted for ease of communication.

Boko is smarter than your average bird, or at least very good at mimicking human expression. That, and his greater size, are why he's the effective leader/ambassador.

The huggy one's name is Krayca, and she is _just the dearest little thing d'awwww. _I seriously teared up writing that part, not gonna lie.


	5. Snake? Snake! SNAAAAAKE!

#import COPYRIGHT_OWNERSHIP_DENIAL

Let's try a slightly different perspective today!

* * *

Chapter 5: Snake? Snake?! _SNAAAAAKE!_

Cloud was exaggerating a lot when he implied that the swamp stank as bad as the chockie farm. I mean, it's musty sure, and I _really _want a shower when we get out, but I'm not asking the Planet for a way to block off my sense of smell entirely this time!

I hum quietly as the chockies pick out a safe path southwest through the swamp. _I hope Marleen's doing alright with Mom. Tseng's watching...oh I do hope he doesn't feel too bad about that slap! I told him I didn't hold it against him, but.. he blames himself for too much __as it is__!_

I adjust my pack's straps a little; we moved some of our supplies back into the backpacks, in case we have to cut the cart loose for speed. We'd had to cut our speed a bit when we entered the region, but the swamp still had the piled-up dirt and gravel road the miners had built. Parts had washed away from the rains over the past couple years, according to Choco Bill, and we were currently bypassing an area that was impossible for the cart to get through.

_I miss home. The Turks might've chased me and wanted to make me a SOLDIER or whatever...but at least they didn't want me to fall off something and drown, or eat me like some of the things out here._

_I love being out in the air with grasses and trees and even the muck here – as long as I'm not actually in it! – but I do miss home._

_Mom's probably tending the flowers by the house...I hope they survive, it was always harder to coax them to grow than in the Church._

The wind shifted – bringing with it a less pleasant smell, this time of meat which had begun to rot. The tune trails off as I pinch my nose shut. _At least it's probably not another person's corpse! Whatever it is, speed you safely to the Lifestream, and to your next existence. And speed us past your fate!_

If I'm right, we're over halfway through now. Nothing's bothered attacking us, at the speed we're going. It's almost boring.

My thoughts turn a little macabre. _Death holds few mysteries to one who can half-hear the Planet whenever she focuses. I know where our souls go when we die – they talk to me, in a sense, though they don't have their own memories any longer. They'll come back, one day, each and every one, so while I miss their absence, I mourn them not._

_Still, I would rather not leave, here...and I like these people. I'd rather they didn't die. This mission...I can feel how desperately vital it is. So no, I won't let anything happen to them._

_Not like Zack. ...I know you rejoined the Lifestream. I miss you, you know. Did you ever get my letters?_

_I wonder if you knew Cloud, he's a SOLDIER 1st class, like you were. Hehe, you know he fell in the flowers, just like you?_

My thoughts are quiet, like they always are when I try to reach him. _Silly girl, still pining after someone who was never that into you. He probably got the letters, and just never bothered to answer. ...I'm bored._

What's not so quiet is the rumbling noise behind us, off to our right. Both our heads dart towards the source – _there! Something's under the water._

Cloud heard it too, of course. "Alright everyone, we have company. You remember the plan, right?"

I nod. " 'Second mountain to the right, and straight on, lest mourning,' " I summarized.

Beth choked; I gave her a _what's wrong with you?_ look – she looked tense, and panic was written on her face, but the bugged-out eyes and the growing grin eased it a bit. _Why is that funny?! Nevermind! And stop chuckling, you sound insane._

"Right. Full speed as long as our mounts can keep it up."

"And if our escape is cut off? From what Bill told us, there were several sightings of multiple Zoloms before they closed the mine." _Not helping, Teef!_

"Then we try to get away. We have little hope of defeating even one." Cloud's eyes drilled into Tifa's. "You and Red, don't even _try_ to fight, just run. Something that size isn't going to notice you're more than a snack unless you manage to kick a tooth out, and at that point you're probably dead already.

"Barret, you have your Big Shot loaded?"

"* (#$ yes I do. I'll blow t' mind of any foo', buy some time a' least."

"Aerith, you set?"

"Bio, ready." _I really hope it's enough._

"Beth?"

"_Slow_ing their roll, and _Haste_-ing our retreat." She still sounded scared, but she was trying to be brave. She started casting _Haste_ on each of the chocobos. I held on tight – the spell's effect only extended to the target creature, so my reflexes wouldn't be improved any. We quickly began outpacing the rumbling, to my great relief.

"Aaargh, my brain feels like I've worked a fifty-hour week and then pulled an all-nighter for a final!" Beth complained as she pulled back up alongside us, having apparently finished her casting. She pulled her staff from its sling on her back.

"Chug an Ether, you'll feel better."

"Right, right..."

I guess she worked on that – I was too busy trying to hold on as the world sped by, and stagnant water splashed everywhere.

_RRROOOOAAAAAAAARRRRSSSSSSSS!_

"_What the hell was THAT?!"_ I demanded.

"Speed means more footsteps per second, means more vibrations, means alerting more of the Zoloms, around and ahead, and probably makes them think we're bigger threats in their territory," Beth lectured, sounding about as terrified as I felt. "It's why I didn't _Haste_ us all to begin with – oh, and next time, I'm borrowing something with linked slots to cast that with! I'm such a fool, I swear…"

_Yeah, yeah, that might have been stupid on all our parts. _"I wouldn't know, let's just _hurry_!"

* * *

_I can see the end of the marsh!_ I cried inside. My chockie is tiring from the sprint, Beth's drained four Ethers keeping us _Haste_d and is worrying if they're addictive – I wouldn't know – and all our nerves are tense. "We're almost out of here! Come on, we'll make it!"

"Oh, God, _damn yourself!_" Beth exclaimed, then sighed. "Aerith, rule number zero: if anything can go wrong, it will, at the _most dramatic time possible_ and in the _worst way possible._"

I open my mouth to retort, but she interrupts me! "And sorry, but if you're about to say any variation of 'What could go wrong', there is a good chance that _someone will be badly maimed for life here_. Please don't!"

_What the rude Hellfire, Beth?! "_I wasn't going to!"

"...oh."

"But _thanks for the mental image!_"

"Okay! Okay, jeez, I'm sorry."

'_Jeez'? What does… hmph!_

* * *

Once we'd made it to the end of the marsh, we slowed the birds to a walk to cool off, then after a few minutes stopped entirely to give them a well-earned rest. "I told you we'd make it fine," I mock-glared at Beth, as I undid the strap holding the saddle, but recoiled at how she shrank back at the statement. She's never reacted so badly to teasing before… "Beth? We lived. I'm not really _that_ mad."

"..." She doesn't say anything, just hauls the saddle off her mount and throws it in the cart.

"...Beth?"

"...look, I'm sorry, alright? Please just… give me some space." _You bipolar or something?_

"Okay. Okay, that's fine." I gently pull the saddle off my mount, casting a quick _Cure_ on his legs for the soreness. _Aw, he appreciates it._ "I'll get you some water and food real quick, alright?"

"Warrrk..." He laid down, and flapped his wings languidly to cool off. I just smiled and set his saddle on the side of the cart.

Beth was shaking, probably from the adrenaline crash. I retrieved the water and greens, and pressed a canteen into her hands until she accepted it; she did, with a quiet thanks and weak smile. I just smiled at her and moved on with my task.

She did the same for hers, who looked concerned for her before digging into his food, a few moments later.

* * *

After letting the chocobos have a good feed and rest, and they reported they were good to go, we wished each other good luck and went our separate ways. Beth was still standoffish, but she was willing to act as translator. "**We are far fleeter and lighter of foot without encumbrance. We should be able to avoid provoking the Unnatural Kings on our way home. Farewell…and be very careful.**"

There was an additional message she didn't translate which made Beth's brown eyes go wide, and she whispered rapidly and heatedly for several response before they narrowed, then she closed them and shook her head. "Great, just great." _What now?_ "Thank you again, we would've died horribly in there without you." Some headshaking from 'her' chockie, with some warks and kwehs and the like, before she responded, "So not a problem" She froze, oddly, and then muttered, "And now I feel like I'm in a Kim Possible episode." _Kim...who? Never heard of that._ "Well, good luck, again! Oh, hold on..."

With that, she borrowed our All materia from Tifa. "Yeah, I don't feel like casting this six times in a row, again. Um, then again, I'm not entirely sure if this will work, but if not I'll just cast it normally. Twice is doable." She took a breath, and concentrated...wait, is she –

Her eyes jumped open and the materia glowed disturbingly brightly: "_Time's current, place us in your whirlpool! Hastega!"_

_Whoa! Bright light, BRIGHT LIGHT! And that speeding ticking noise, that never happened before!_ Light covered all of us – me, Cloud, Barret, the chocobos, everyone, before vanishing. "..did it work?"

She frowned, looking at the rest of us, before picking up a rock from the ground and dropping it. It fell slowly, so, "Looks like. See ya around, guys!" She addressed the last part to our feathered friends, several of which had their heads tilted quizzically. They nodded and sped away, dust clouds swirling oddly as they left. _Like a VCR at half-speed, almost…_

Cloud took charge of hauling the cart, moving as if it weighed nothing; Tifa decided that, given how useful the _Hastega _combination was, Beth should definitely keep the materia for now. And, with that, we went our way!

* * *

We're still some fifteen minutes from the mine once we left the marsh, so I decided to chat with Beth about what she'd done earlier, and make sure she's okay now.

Hesitant to bother her after her…_mood_, earlier, but curiosity eating at me, I walked over next to Beth. Eventually, I ask, "So, that was one of those ritual-chant casts?"

She looked over at me; I _think_ that was relief that flashed in her eyes. "I guess so… it came to me a couple days ago, along with a couple others. It felt familiar, like something I'd forgotten..." she mused for a moment. "It takes longer to say the words, I doubt we could use it in a fight. But, preparing for one we know's going to happen, or in a lull? If it's any stronger or lasts longer, it might help." She abruptly facepalmed. "Ugh, I should've set one of our phones outside the effect field, with synchronized stopwatches running! I'll have to experiment with it properly later."

"You...didn't try it before?"

"I didn't have the All materia to try the multi-target version before."

"Ohhh." _I guess she likes figuring things out!_

After a pause, she asked me a question. "You told me there used to be such chants used?."

I nodded. "Yes, Mother taught me that when I was very little, but most of them have been lost. Most of the ones remaining are healing spells, preserved by...well, some monastic order or another."

"Ooh, can you teach me those?"

I laugh, happily, "I only know the ones for Cure and Esuna, I'm afraid, and Esuna really only needs it if you're casting it on someone who's been under a status effect for a long time."

_Oh wow, she looks so eager! If she nodded any harder at that, her cute little head would fall right off!_

* * *

We're still chatting when Barret screams like a little girl.

"HOW THE $* !... IS _THAT_ ONE OF THE ZOLOMS?!"

Beth and I speed up the hill path and round the corner, staves and spells ready, to see… "Oh...dear." _We really dodged a bullet, didn't we? __Oh, I feel light-headed_ – Cloud hadn't been kidding, we would not have done well fighting something that huge.

Retching noises pull my eyes away from the thirty-foot snake's impaled corpse. _Looks like Beth couldn't find a funny comment for this one…_I kneel next to the dangerously-pale woman and rub her back, channeling an_ Esuna_ for good measure.

"Did Sephiroth...do this…?" Cloud stares up, wide-eyed, at the splintered and blood-soaked tree.

"Guess so..." Teef mutters.

I'm speechless – "_Our enemy is someone who could do this…?," _I think, but I don't want to make Beth's panic attack worse, so I keep it to myself.

Nanaki sums it up quite well, I think: "It's a power that we should respect..."

* * *

Beth managed to shake herself back to...well, not _normal_, exactly, but able to walk a few minutes later, very pointedly _NOT_ looking at the snake-on-a-stick from Ifirit's realm. She stopped us outside the mine.

"Listen… the chocobos told me someone else is here, that we'll have to fight...and the description sounds like something I've… read about. A 'dark elf', likes playing with magnetism. "

"Wha? How'd dey know what's in t' cave?"

"In his words? 'A little Moogle told me.' I wasn't impressed, either. They also said, that it said, that it's good enough with the magnetism that we won't be able to move with anything substantial of metal, if we meet up with it. It griped about losing a family heirloom tag of some sort, too? Dunno."

_What in the world?_

"We're going to be down to bare hands, teeth, and magic...and given that a lot of our materia slots are in metal items, we're going to be a little down on that, too."

"...there _is_ an evil odor on the air, and it's not merely lingering chocobo feces or the marsh. Perhaps preparation would be prudent, in such a manner that we can easily drop anything that becomes so useless?" Nanaki spoke up.

_Hmm._ "I see no problem with that. I barely use my staff to begin with, and my bangle is that carbon fiber stuff." After a moment of thought, I remove the Ice and Lightning materia – _ooh, second level, now!_ – and pocket the Ice long enough to stash my staff in the cart. Beth does the same, and digs out the four-slotted leather wristband Cloud found back in the Shin-Ra headquarters while she's in there.

"I'mma jus' stick w' what I've got – I got metal I can't get rid of, anyhow."

"Hmm. Maybe swap out for something that doesn't have gunpowder in it? I don't want to find out how fine-grained its abilities are, and have the firing caps set off when you're pointing at something we don't want shot."

Barret winced at that thought. "...I'll file that unda 'stoopid chances'." He riffled through the cart for his Atomic Scissors, and stowed away his gunarm's ammo in its box.

"...you really do expect the worst from a situation, don't you?" I ask. _What happened to you?_

Beth shrugged, "Life and death taught me to always prepare for the worst, still-likely things that could happen, but try to enjoy the best when it does." _Fair enough. _"They also said there was a materia up some roots, near the entrance, might help. So...who wants to climb up?"

We all look at her. "W-what, wait, you don't expect _me_ to do it? I hate heights!"

"Then this is a good time for you to overcome it," Teef retorted.

"Oh, fie on you, woman." There was no heat in it. "Alright, fine. Hold my gear, and have a Phoenix Down and a Cure spell ready, just in case."

"You'll be fine, sweetie."

With an odd glance at Teef, she hands me the Potions and such she always keeps in her pockets. She stretches a bit – _wish I made traveler's pants look that good – _and adjusts her gloves as she stansd in front of the hanging roots.

A calming breath is taken, then she reaches out and gives the largest root a tug. Some dirt's disturbed, and side-branches into the ledge strained, but it holds; Beth slowly began climbing hand-over-hand, feet braced against the wall.

It takes her a few minutes, and some "You can do it, you're nearly there!" encouragement, but she makes it up. She's more leery coming back down, at first, when she saw how far up she really was – it was only about two stories...and a half – but she made it down. We quietly cheered for her, and it's hard to tell if her flush is from the exertion or not.

Teef smiles at her success like Beth was a favored student. "So, find anything?"

"Well, I found belief in myself and the support of friends!"

We snickered at the Saturday cartoon Aesop, and Teef stepped forward to give her a high-five. A small smirk appeared on Beth's face before she suppressed it, and accepted the high-five from still a few feet away, _oh, going for an air-five, disappointing_…

...only for Teef's hand to be slapped back as if Beth had made contact. "What the-?!"

"Long-range materia," Cloud muttered. "_Very_ nice find."

She beamed, "I know, right?! I think it would be best served on you and Red most of the time – most of your Limit abilities are melee, right?" He nodded. "Your sword's metal, obviously, so unless you want to find a shard of the tree outside and make a weapon out of that, right now I think it should go to either Tifa or Red. May~be Barret – you can still use those grenade bombs of yours without a gun, I'm guessing? But the friendly-Fire issue, and a metal casing to boot..."

Barret coughed and excused himself back to the cart, at that remark.

"I'll take it," Teef volunteered, with a too-sweet smile.

"Sure, go ahead," _wait no, are you __kidding me?_"just try not the telekinetically muss my hair, please?"

"You're no fun."

_...I feel a little silly now. Teef wouldn't do anything bad, she was just surprised; Beth's savvy, so she wouldn't have fallen for it anyway._

* * *

We fought some odd creatures on our way in, including one small draconic thing that tried to roast Barret with a jet of flame, but the mines were mostly quiet. _Not gonna complain about the rest, that's sure_, I think, taking a sip from my canteen. We were beginning to lose our wariness when Red, who was taking the lead to sniff out trouble, suddenly froze and his hackles went on end, before he very slowly backed away from the corner.

"I believe I have located our 'dark elf'. It seems wise to finalize our preparations."

Cloud had taken the advice earlier, and so traded his massive sword for a massive makeshift club before shifting the cart into a recess in the mineshaft's wall.

_I hope it won't be necessary to use it, but not like that's come true yet…_

We loosen ourselves up a bit, and otherwise mentally prepare for the likely challenge – and Beth mutters the _Hastega _chant for us – before we walk into the last area of the mine. Teef ends up coughing up part of her Guard Source when she sees the what's waiting inside.

I'm sure she finds its appearance comical – it holds its upper arms straight out from its sides, and its legs are more like a dog's – appropriate, given how the tongue lolls out. Its white hair defies gravity, and two huge, pointed ears join a bright pinkish-purple horn in jutting up and through the hair. Its eyes are as yellow as the bangle floating around its right wrist, and as the claws at the ends of its fingers.

It's not funny to me. I've never seen anything so...so _disturbing_ as this "dark elf" creature. The Planet itself disowns it, the thing feels utterly dead even as it dances in front of us. Undead? No...I don't think so…

Whatever it is this thing...no, this _abomination_, makes me ill to look at too long.

"You have finally arrived." The dark elf noted in a nasally voice, taking in the six of us as we filed in.

"Do your records show from where?" Beth snarked brightly, then shook her head before it could do more than raise an eyebrow. "Sorry, you just reminded me of someone, is all."

"...irrelevant to my purpose here. You have come to interfere in something well above the likes of humans of your station, and so I have been sent to remove you." _Oh, ew, what is this feeling, like ants on my skin?! _"...you have been forewarned, I see. No matter, you will perish."

Beth recoiled, "Can't we talk about this?!" _Probably not, girl!_

"Let me think about it...no. As the challenger, however, I will grant you the first attack. For whatever good it will do you."

Cloud and Red opt to charge in to attack first, while I quickly begin probing the _wrongness_ with fire and ice magic.

It nimbly avoids Cloud's heavy swings, and catches Red's biting lunge with the floating bangle – which instantly spins when he clamps down on it, and instead of the decoration being yanked away, Red is flung a dozen feet away.

My Ice spell is backhanded away too, but the Fire spell lands! I'm not so inexperienced that I wait to see if it did anything before I'm casting again – _Cure! Shake it off, Red!_

Switching to quicker swings rather than fight-finishing blows, Cloud manages to keep the midget distracted long enough for Tifa to close in with a fistful of lightning, courtesy of a Thunder spell, and land the first blow. She didn't let up for a moment, pummeling away with a series of palm strikes before dodging a swipe by jumping into the air, and punishing the attempt with sharp, Long-range Materia telekinesis-enhanced kick to the head.

Unfortunately, that only makes it angry. The air surrounding it becomes choked with dirt as it swirls around, and everyone fighting it up close is blown away and briefly blinded. The elf isn't any more one for wasting time than we are, and just as she was pushing herself up and coughing the dust out of her lungs, Tifa _scream_s from a _Fira_ball striking her in the face

_No! no no no!_ I rush to her and, thinking quickly, douse the flames with some water from my canteen. I then channel a _Cura_ directly into the burned area, and inspect the results as blackened skin, blood, and less pleasant things revert into reddened flesh. Her eyelashes are a little singed on one side, but thank the Lifestream nothing worse. _It'll do for now._

"Thanks...ow." She accepts my arm helping her up, and growls as she races back into the battle.

My eyes dart quickly between the others to see if anyone else was hurt while I was occupied. Beth seems to have gotten off a _Hastega_, finally – more blows are being landed, and I see Cloud shatter _that thing'_s upper left arm with a Cross-slash. Tifa takes advantage of this for her revenge, and I feel a disturbing thread of satisfaction at its strangled cry.

"ENOUGH!" A sudden quake shakes loose more dirt from the ceiling above, and I glance up fearfully –_ don't cave us in!_ "You shall all _fry_ for yoooouuuuuurrrrrrr iiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnssssssssooooooolll- _RRRAAAAGGGGHH"_

"_Slow_ your roll, pip-squeak." Beth ordered the decelerated and infuriated being, before she had to sneeze.

_Even in a fight….well, two can play at that game! _"You should chill out!" I freeze its weird feet to the floor, for good measure, and Cloud lands a heavy swing to its gut.

The next moment, my world is _paaaaaaIIIIIIIINNNN_, and I'm convulsing on the floor from a _Thundara_ spell, unable to breathe!

"Whaaaaaaatt doooooo yooooouuu thiiiieeennnnkka yooouu'rre doing?!" The elf demanded, apparently shaking off Beth's time spell. "Just do your job and _die!_"

"I do not think so." Red charged in again, and like last time he was blocked with the bangle, but this time before he could be flung away, his eyes and fangs glowed, and a shocked scream was torn from the _thing_ along with the bangle, which shattered in Red's mouth. I see an oozing wound on his flank scab over as well; _I guess that was some technique of his._

"That belonged to my_ GRANDMOTHER,_ you _mongrel punk!_" the elf hissed, melting away the ice with a careless _Fira._ And...oh shit. Um, then he was a DRAGON. "You...you….oh, now this is personal! You are going to die _last_, I _promise you that, _and-"

Beth interrupted here. "Uh, I doubt it means anything to you, but if that's true...you have my sincere condolences." Its hateful glare swings over to her, along with a disbelieving one from me – _you cannot be seriously feeling sorry for this thing!_

"_I. Do. Not. Accept._" This time Beth is the one to scream, and the world seems to speed up around us as she collapses. Cloud is next, as another _Tornado_ slams him into a wall, then picks him up (sans club) and flings him back the way we came – he lands in an unmoving heap, SOLDIER enhancements likely the only reason he still draws a shuddering breath.

_NO!_

_No._

_Not another. I haven't even gotten to know him yet._

_You provoke us...you throw us around like...like Toy Soldiers, you try to kill most of my friends, when WE DID NOTHING TO YOU!…._

A cold rage fills me. I hold it back just long enough to send a quick _Cura_ over everyone, to gain some time, before I draw on myself. I try to cast something that felt anathema before...it takes a moment. Beth manages to land another _Slow, _and Teef takes a _Blizzara_ meant for me, but… my eyes snap open, and I _roar._ "_FURY BRAND!_"

I, and the other four of us still on our feet, glow with a red light, and near-identical snarls erupt from us.

"_BEAT. RUSH."_

"_SEAL EVIL."_

The dragon takes multiple hits from an _extremely pissed off_ barkeeper, and I make sure it can't complain about it further.

"_SLED FAAAAAAAANG!_"

"Woop, _SOMERSAULT!" _Tifa jumps out of the way, "And…. _D__OLPHIN BLOW!_" The entire elf-turned-dragon's bloodied body is knocked into the air and flips a couple times, Red barely getting off in time.

It lands right on top of a bomb Barret, now no longer pinned to the ground by the magnetic manipulation of his arm, shotputted into the area. "DUCK AN' COVAH!"

Those of us not already on the ground – _sorry, Beth, CURA! –_ drop to it, and the _BANG_ shakes the cavern yet again, this time dislodging a boulder right on top of the dragon's head.

* * *

It takes a moment to steady myself on my feet again, but once I do I begin triageI hurry over to where Cloud lay. _No..._I quickly power up the appropriate orb for the _Sense_ spell_, oh thank goodness...no broken spine, and no concussion an Esuna can't fix._ I cast it, then carefully flip him into a more comfortable position. Rummaging through my medical pouch produces a bottle inside – _"__Phoenix Down__, Extra-Senzu. Caution: Do Not Exceed Four Doses Inside 24 Hours!" – _from which I take a pill and place in his mouth, and force him to swallow, before backing out of reach.

He comes to almost immediately, and jolts to sitting upright, narrowed eyes wildly looking around for enemies.

"We won, Cloud.'

He calmed a bit, before climbing to his feet. "Everyone alive?"

"Seems so. Nobody was hurt more than a couple _Cura_ spells and a potion with their meals won't fix."

"…...good." He walked slowly over to the cart and, with a grunt, hefted his hard-edged blade, spinning it around in that _ridiculous...ly awesome_ way of his before attaching it to the magnetic harness points on his back.

I just shake my head and check on the others.

* * *

A few minutes later, we've regrouped and are rolling out, giving the dragon's body a respectful berth when Beth slows and stops a few feet away from it. "…...hey, Aerith, could you do me a favor, and run a quick _Sense_ scan here?"

_Huh, why? _"….I guess, just… that can't be right." The others stop, and fan out a bit. "Beth, step away please." _Please, please just be picking her up!_

"Ah, shit, I knew it," she grumbles, hefting her reclaimed-from-the-cart staff and backing away. "Never, ever trust that the boss is dead until its head's removed."

_Dark Dragon (Outsider) Lvl: 30. HP: 581/6,500. Weak to Holy._

The boulder rolls off the abomination's head as it slowly, painfully, raises its head at us. Its upper jaw and nasal passage crushed, but pure instinctual fury flares in the jaundiced eye not swollen shut. _"_It's not dead yet!" I warn. _Obviously._

Beth doesn't even wait – light from her red orb shines on her face, and my breath catches at how _cold_ her expression is. "You know, I'm not a violent person?" A yellow blur crashes into the dragon's head, and the scream almost makes me feel sorry for it. "Really, it takes more of most annoyances before I even notice! But there's only so much I can tolerate, and once I notice, it all gets a giant stress multiplier." A..._is that a Moogle?!_ Something's propelled _hard_ into the remaining eye, and everyone winces. "And given that today, I've been _thrown from a horse-sized, semisentient bird's back, _chased by _fire-breathing motherfucking snakes_ through a _marsh, _accidentally insulted one of the people with the _most influence on my current life_, had to _climb _up _and _down what must've been _almost thirty feet _supported by nothing but _dirty roots _that I _have no clue what the fuck they grew from_," oh look, her Ice Materia finally leveled up! "and still have to chase down an Eldritch Abomination by the time all this is over and help _punchitize its face? _Then you show up...and turn into something close to _yet another giant snake_. Really. _Why did it have to be snakes?!_"

She walked right up in the thing's ruined, bleary gaze as it manage to blink open. "_I've more than hit my limit._ Go. The fuck. HOME. _X-ZONE GLITCH."_

Beth braces herself, as if to prevent falling forward, then strikes the ground twice with her staff – with the first, the beast disappears from sight, which is incredible and _dangerous_ enough, and with the second, there is a _massive_ _starry void_ where it was before, and air rushes around us and threatens to knock me over. Tifa's knocked into Cloud, and Barret grunts with the sudden effort of staying upright.

Then its over, and the dust kicked up into the air shows that there's no longer anything there at all – invisible or otherwise.

We just stand there for a minute, shocked and, to my later shame, _horrified, _at the power we've just seen.

Beth on the other hand, just smiles when some sort of TV screen-like static form in front of her, and condenses into a half-dozen or so random items. "Oh goody, peppermint tea! Just what I need about now. You folks want some? It's relaxing!"

* * *

**Author's Note**

First off: Yep, that's Beth's first Limit Break. It's based on the SNES Final Fantasy III glitch (Vanish+X-Zone = goodbye target, and fucking with the number of various items in your inventory), but here it can only work if the target is so beaten up it barely even wants to live anymore. Basically, you could finish it off with pretty much any other attack already, so there's not much point besides taking out frustration...and free items.

Frustration pretty much fuels Limit Breaks in this world, so…yeah, it's a good stress reliever. :D

Second off, for those who didn't figure it out straight from the chocobo's warning: today's boss fight was brought to you from the world of Final Fantasy IV. Brought down to about 10% HP by the strain of sending one's body across interdimensional boundaries to a hostile Genius Loci – one that's actively interfering with your connection to your magic to boot! Has about the same result some spoony bard would with a song, only less painfully annoying.

If its appearance seems random, remember: Dissidia's world crossovering included villains, they all ultimately work under Chaos...and not all of them were so powerful or had such broad ambitions as to get to be the end boss. Even if they _were_ A FRICKIN' PAIN IN THE POSTERIOR at their points in the game. :P

Third off: Tifa's line, "Guess so…" is credited to HCBailly's Let's Play Final Fantasy VII, episode #030. The Chocobos were being a pain in the behind to catch, so I decided to waste my data plan a bit and just check against a video as I wrote that section. Barret already had a line here about it, Cloud has his canon line, and Aerith and Beth were temporarily indisposed, so it was a coin flip between Tifa and Nanaki. I was too lazy to find a coin, so Tifa got the line.

This Aerith's secretly a nicknamer, she just does it in her head. Thus, Tifa is Teef (until things get deadly serious), and chocobos are chockies. She hasn't found a good nickname for the others, as Cloud's personality can be cloudy – too easy – and Barret is practically named after a gun already, and vigorously turned down "Giant Teddy-Bear" the one time she teased him with the threat of calling him it. Beth...we'll see, Aerith's still forming an opinion about her. Nickname suggestions welcome!


	6. Changes

#import COPYRIGHT_OWNERSHIP_DENIAL

TRIGGER_WARNINGS="Mockery of homeopathy, emotional manipulation (kinda?), long chapters":$GLOBAL_TRIGGER_WARNINGS

* * *

**Chapter 6: Changes**

A few moments after I did….whateverthe _fuck _that was, I kneel down and start collecting up and examining the things that had appeared around me. My blood pressure is still sky high from the stress and I've been feeling most of the morning, and I need to center myself to calm it.

I immediately spy something I've been missing since I arrived: caffeine-free peppermint tea. The brand looks vaguely familiar from the shopping trip in Kalm, but the box is battered and has been opened before. "Oh goody, peppermint tea! Just what I need about now. " I open it, and inside are a dozen stringless paper packets; someone, at least, designs for minimal waste. I look over in the general direction of the bug-eyed group, and force a smile and bright voice. "You folks want some? It's relaxing!"

I steel myself to actually _look_ at their faces...and what I see stings. Aside from Barret's "what the shit kind of Limit was that?!" look on his face, Tifa had gone white as a sheet and actually half-_hid_ herself behind Cloud, who thankfully (or not, given his condition) only looked calculatingly neutral. Nanaki...well, the fur of his neck and back weren't nearly as up as they were when he had spotted that stupid-looking Dark Elf, so hopefully that was a good sign?

Aerith's look of sheer horror was the worst part, so I focus on collecting the spoils of the battle. Honestly, aside from a bag of herbs marked with a green cross on a white background, the aforementioned tea, and a knife that resembled my father's folding one far too much for comfort, it was pretty much junk. I grabbed it anyway – I was never a Boy Scout, but I did learn to never leave rubbish in nature.

I nabbed the fragments of golden bangle as well, of course. If nothing else, I can sell it to a jeweler for the material's value; at best, maybe I can poke at it and learn something about how it floated. I don't have much else to do at camp besides sit, think, cook and stand watch (while thinking yet more).

Planting my staff on the ground, I used it to push myself up to standing again...and grumbled at the lock of brown-tinged red hair that suddenly fell in my face – _fifth__ dang time this morning, I need bobby pins! –_ at the movement.

"Let's get moving," Cloud stated… and so we did, the rustles of clothing and creaking of the cart the only sounds as we continued through the hill.

I'm musing on why this particular mine doesn't have so much as a cart in sight anywhere, let alone tracks for them, when an unfamiliar voice breaks me out of it. "Just a second!"

Oh brother...in all the excitement, I forgot about this. First meeting with the Turks...and perhaps an opportunity! But...oh jeez, what and how was I going to say, again?

As in the game, a man was standing between us and what, judging from the light streaming in, was the side of the fork leading to the exit. Bald head, goatee, skin like coffee-with-milk, sunglasses at all times, deep navy blue (to the point it looks nearly black) suit with a weird zip-up jacket...Rude, I think his name is.

"….I hoped I'd never see you again," Nanaki growled at him.

"Who are _you?_" Tifa asked, sounding wary and a touch on-edge at another interloper, especially with the negative impression of her colleague.

Rude minutely turns his head to glance at her, then looks straight at Cloud. "Do you know who I am?"

"Not interested."

His eyebrows knit together, but it's...not quite a scowl, there's a quirk of disappointment to it. I wouldn't notice if I hadn't been curious and looking for it. "…...I'm from the Turks. And don't you _ever_ forget it." I think I catch his eyes moving over the rest of the group, but between the sunglasses and the dark, I can't be sure. "It's difficult to explain what the Turks do..."

Cloud scoffed. "Kidnapping, right?"

Obviously, I'd known he'd say something like that, and came up with a plan… and I follow through with it. "No need to be Rude!" I admonish him, stepping out and forward from from behind our local Mr. T impersonator. "They investigate problems, many of which trouble _everyone_, not just Shin-Ra. Y'all remember that mess a few years ago with the monsters running around Midgar? These guys saved a lot of lives, then. And I heard something about a eco-terrorist group around the same time – like, actual, _genocide is the goal, __non-Shin-Ra employes dying isn't just __regretted collateral damage_ sort of bastards."

"…...you are very well informed, Miss…?" Rude turns his head to the side and looks me over, questioningly.

I'm not going to give 'my' full name. _Cause the previous occupant's family problems, __like an asshole? __I'll pass._ "Beth. Just call me Beth."

His head centers on me, and I raise an eyebrow. _This guy sure takes his time thinking. _"So, that's how it is… you are correct. You see..." he trails off again, looking to the side as if struggling to figure out how to say something. He starts and stops a few times, and I roll my eyes and nod.

"SIR!" a woman's crisp voice barks from a ledge behind him, and opposite the exit. The bald man rolls his head to look up at her. _Ah yes, there's Elena. _"It's all right, Rude! I know you don't like speeches, so don't force it!"

"...Then, Elena, explain."

The small blonde woman introduces herself. "I'm the newest member of the Turks, Elena. Thanks to what you did to Reno, we're short of people." She sounds like that's a personal affront to her, then adds, "….although, because of that, I got promoted to the Turks."

"You're welcome!" Aerith pipes in. I manage to keep my snort minimal.

Elena's not quite so amused. "I prefer to be promoted on schedule and _merit!_ ...then again, it was a month overdue..." She shakes her head. "In any case, our job is to find out where Sephiroth is headed. And to try and stop you every step of the way. ….no, wait a minute...it's the other way around – _you're _the ones getting in _our _way."

A figure's shadow extends itself through the mine's exit, so I decide to cut in one last time here, and hopefully save us all a lot of annoyance. Well, it'll likely cost _me_, personally, maybe a hell of a lot to boot, but…it's a risk I'd decided would save a lot of lives in the end. "Then I suggest we chat. You mind if we take this outside in the fresh air, Tseng?"

Elena's surprised, "Mr. Tseng!" conjures the image of her jerking to ramrod-straight attention, but I only have eyes for the man himself.

"...yes, perhaps we _should_ hear what you know." I feel suddenly uncomfortable with the intense stare I receive from him, and the feeling he may decide to drop me where I stand if he decides I know too many of Shin-Ra's secrets. "Follow Rude outside. Elena...make sure they join us, then carry out your other orders. Don't forget to report."

"Yes, sir! Rude and I will head for Junon, where Sephiroth's reportedly heading!"

"...you talk too much, Elena." Tseng gave Aerith a nod, then turned on his heel and strolled outside.

"If you will follow me..." Rude 'invited' us, before climbing swiftly up another of those damnable roots to the exit.

Gulp. Well, nothing for it now!

The twisting of my stomach only worsens when Barret grabs my arm, spins me around, knocks my staff out of my hand – _what the hell_, _m- eep! –_ and hisses in my ear: "A'right, that's it, _you_ gonna be telling us who the $(!#% you really are, you get me?! And then, mebbe, I won't leave ya in the dirt like we found ya!"

I nod frantically. I whisper back, "That's kinda the idea, here! Mostly. There are some things they really can't know, and things one of us in particular absolutely _cannot find out,_ but I swear, I will tell you the rest."

"...you better, (#!%*." He shoves me away, and glares over at the blond Turk as she approaches, before following Rude as far as the exit. He stands there, arms crossed, waiting impatiently for us to all make it out.

I close my eyes and take a few shuddering breaths, trying to smooth them out and calm the mounting anxiety.

I open them to find Tifa, with my staff in her hands, a foot in front of me, and a bit to my right. I'm not sure whether she's going to hit me with it, or just keep it away from me so I can't pull anything. "...so. We met the Turks...and they're after Sephiroth. Just like you said."

* * *

**Early that morning, at Choco Bill's farmhand house – wait, really? Busy day...**

"Ooooh, that was really good, Bill, thank you." I have a genuine grin on my face, as I wipe my mouth with a napkin. "We've been on MREs since we before Kalm, and those things? Yeah, that powdered stuff tastes almost eggs-actly unlike the real thing."

"Why, thank you, ma'am, I'm glad you appreciate it." Bill seemed tickled that his work was so well-appreciated. "Really wasn't anything special – just plain ol' scrambled in the pan eggs. If you ever come back this ways, give me a call – if nothing's causing problems again, I'll have some hardboiled ones you can buy for your travels, no markup or nothing!"

"Mmm, that does sound lovely. Snack on the go, or I can crumble it up in some of the vegetables and sprinkle on some pepper and paprika for an easy lunch!"

Aerith giggled, then teasingly warned him, "Careful, you two – Beth's eyes are doing that sparkling thing again."

"Oh no….I swear, she bought so much food, Cloud's the only one of us who could handle the damn cart for more than fifteen minutes, at first." Tifa related.

"Hey..." I turn and pout at her, then at the loose lock of hair that falls in my face.

"Can't really complain about the results, though," Tifa quickly added, "I mean, when she cooks we usually gotta add the meat ourselves, if we want it, but when she gets the spices _just right_, it's _really_ good, and was cheaper than the prepackaged stuff I would've gotten."

"Eh, et's alright, but I still want mah meat. Gotta keep t' guns loaded, ya know?"

My smile thins a little at Barret's pronouncment, but hey, his choice. Certainly an _easier_ way of getting what you need.

Bill chortles, "Really, now? Well, I'm sure you'll find some man who appreciates it."

..._really? You know, with the whole Tifa's martial arts master eagerly teaching her, and the gay and crossdresser friendly bits in the game's Midgar slums, I had hoped this world skipped the gender stereotyping __woman-in-the-kitchen__ bullshit._ I just roll my eyes and respond, "Can't say anyone's lining up at the moment...and pretty much all the men I've met are somehow…unappealing, personality-wise. No offense." I wipe my hands clean and stuff the rebellious lock of hair back into the hairtie.

"Eh, you're young, short, and thin, you find someone."

If I had a Fire materia equipped, I'd probably be channeling it solely to generate smoke from my ears right now. "Well, again, I appreciate the meal." I've finished, so I push my chair back and, standing up, I collect my soiled dishes. "Here, I'll take care of these – anyone else done?"

Cloud pushed his plate, with a few scraps of his third helping – SOLDIER enhancements accelerate metabolism, apparently. What is he, a biotic? Lol. Chugging her juice, Tifa follows suit with her dishes also. "Hold on, I'll help, we'll be done in no time."

"Why, you really don't… I mean, you're guests here, it wouldn't be hospitable of me to have you clean up!" Bill protested half-heartedly.

"It's no hardship, really – if anything, I'm a little homesick for this sort of thing. Funny…I was always lazy about doing dishes back home."

"Well, alright, then. Have...fun."

Some minutes later, the others have finished and filed out, Bill taking the few leftovers back to the main house. Tifa and I stand next to each other at the double-basin sink – I wash, she rinses and dries. I take advantage to broach the subject of Cloud's odd story.

"So...mind if I ask you something?"

"Hmm? Sure, go for it. Worst is, I'll say no."

"It's about, well, that story of Cloud's. The one about….Nibelheim."

"Oh." She slows her pace. "What of it?" she prompts, a little bit of tension creeping in.

"I just thought you seemed really focused on it. Like...pieces were wrong or something. You never said anything, though?"

"…." She sloshes a handful of utensils under the slow faucet stream. For once in my life, I keep my fool mouth shut and let her answer in her own time, and she does. "….yeah. Some things were very wrong. Some were right – I was a tour guide, and I did take Sephiroth and some of the Shin-Ra up to the reactor.

"But…._he_ definitely wasn't there. He wasn't the other SOLDIER, it was a guy named Zack. Black spiky hair...and the same sword Cloud showed up with."

"That massive wedge, the Spinal-Disk Buster Sword?"

She nodded, now rinsing the plates as I set them in her side. "I didn't think Cloud ever came back, until he told that story. But, if he knows all those details, he must've been there to see them...but then Zack said he and Sephiroth were the only SOLDIERS present?"

He was there, obviously...but it's more complicated than that, even. "Huh...who else from the Shin-Ra was there?"

"A couple of infantrymen, if I remember right. One of them came up with us, and blocked me from entering the reactor. I was so mad, then..." She smiles wistfully. "Silly little girl."

"The one you told he 'better take real good care of you', eh?"

"Yeah, that was the one." She scratches at a bit of stuck-on food I missed with her thumbnail, before it gives way and she resumes rinsing. Satisfied, she places the plate in the drainer and pulls out the next one like it, before the proverbial gil drops. "Wait a minute...like you said, how would Cloud have known those words, if he wasn't standing right there? That WAS Cloud, wasn't it?!"

_Survey says…..Yes!_ "Sounds right to me."

She turns off the water and leans back on one foot, her right knee raised and both hands on the counter edge. "But, why? Why would he lie about that...why didn't he say anything?"

I look at her, and I can only see confusion and hurt, and a spark of anger I suspect she'll just bottle up if I don't do anything. I turn the water back on just to rinse my hands, and dry them on the towel. I need to pick my words carefully here – I don't think confronting Cloud will help matters until much later, but I don't want her hurting watching him from a distance and not knowing the truth, either. How do I lead her to the truth, without telling her outright?

I sigh softly. "You two both grew up there, right?"

"Yeah. We lived next door to each other, even...we weren't really close, and the town was never friendly to him."

"Shit. Let me guess: single mother, no dad in sight, town looked unkindly on mom and kid because of it? Judging from his height now, he was small fry to boot and picked on by the other kids, when not outright ignored?"

She winces. "….got it in one."

"Hmm… You said you weren't really friends… Did you ever talk? Before he left, maybe something that made you look for him when the SOLDIERs showed up?"

She looked at me oddly, as if into a distance only she could see. "Yeah… yeah, actually." She nodded, tentatively. "At night, we climbed up the water tower in the center of town. He told me...he was leaving...to join SOLDIER. I thought it was so sudden!"

"Sounds like he got tired of being seen as someone small, weak, and of questionable ancestry. Or maybe, he wanted to impress somebody?" When she looked over at me, confusion in her eyes, I winked at her.

Another gil dropped, and she blushed harder than I'd expect a lady her age would."W-what? Me? N-No, he never showed any interest. We were just kids, anyway." I guess she considers their promise too personal to share, that's fine.

"You had friends?"

"Yeah."

"Assuming your friends were some of the kids who ignored him, maybe he felt he never had a chance." I hesitated here. I'm leaving out the truth…which is effectively lying, and the only one being protected by it is me. _Fuck this_. "Tifa." My tone changes completely, going from curious and wondering to steely serious.

"W-what?!" She's, understandably, taken aback.

I lower my voice. "I feel you should ask Cloud specifically why he decided to join SOLDIER. Ask him what event triggered that decision." I clench my eyes shut. Now, or never...and if we're going to derail this train, I've gotta have help. "Or, I can tell you, and you can ask him, and see if it's the same."

Tifa backs up a step. "What?" Her tone grows suspicious, and I open my eyes, wincing at the as-expected response. "Why would you know? ...your ID says you're from Nibelheim, but I damn well knew the faces of everyone who lived there, and the family names. You were NOT one of them." She's getting angry and gesticulatory here, pointing back and forth between us. "I've kept my mouth shut about it this long because there was just enough of a gap in our ages that I thought maybe, you'd lived there and left, and nobody happened to mention you around me, or maybe I just forgot, but you don't sound at all like a Nibelheimer." Her feet shift into a balanced fighting stance. "So, tell me. You with the Shin-Ra, after all? One of the Turks, maybe?"

_Craaaaap. I thought she was supposed to be mothering and **shy**, damnit! Thanks for nothing, character descriptions! Le sigh. In for a penny_, "If I'm a spy for anyone, I don't know it," I shrug, my face and tone as serious as I can be. "Between literally dying in the magicless world I remember growing up in, where this a fictional story with a bittersweet ending, and waking up to Aerith standing over me, there was a weird dream where I was told to do something that I'm pretty sure has to do with killing Sephiroth, but that is it."

_Beat. Beat. Beat. Beat. Beat_. Tifa looks like she's tasted an unexpected lemon. "That...is the stupidest tale I have ever heard."

"Yeah, there's a reason nobody pays the author for this." Her nose scrunches in bafflement. "But look, the reason Cloud remembers that rope bridge collapsing when you were guiding everyone across? Because when your mom passed, you went up into the mountains with your friends to find her spirit. Your friends followed you… and Cloud had followed behind them. When your friends turned back at the rickety rope bridge, he didn't…. and when you fell, he tried to save you."

"My mom…. How dare you bring her into your lies! T-that never happened!" She slaps me, hard, and only catching myself on the sink counter saves me from hitting the floor.

I pull myself back up, and spit blood – _Minor Laceration Detected_ – into the rinse basin. I manage to keep my voice quiet by pretending I'm reciting an uninteresting book: "You were in a coma for seven days, Cloud was blamed for taking you up to Mount Nibel. He started getting into fights, trying to become stronger, trying to become more like Sephiroth – a 'hero', who could make sure that if anyone he cared about was in danger again, he'd be fast enough, and strong enough, to save them. He was too weak, physically and mentally, to undergo the SOLDIER creation process, so he was ashamed to show his face to anyone in Nibelheim...yet, as a lowly infantryman assigned to the Nibelheim investigation, with his friend Zack and the oh-so-great Sephiroth, he still tried to see you.

"His memories are completely muddled by a combination of severe Mako poisoning, exposure to Sephiroth cells – or Jenova's directly, I'm not clear on that – and close proximity and linked Mako flow to the actual SOLDIER 1st Class… Zack Fair, who you had a photo taken with, along with a pre-psychotic-break-slash-partial-Jenova-possession-maybe Sephiroth!" Keep. It. DOWN! Idiot me...

Tifa's rage breaks with each listed event, and she backs away slowly, going porcelain pale. I hurry to pull a chair out for her to sit in, and she manages to wobble to it.

"I think the only memories of the real Cloud he'll be able to remember, instead of the mask that is holding him together now, would be the one of you two on the water tower. Maybe the other one, with the Mount Nibel fall. Maybe. The rest are buried, and in the story only being torn down and called "an empty puppet", after being mentally controlled into handing over a world-ending Materia to Sephiroth, AND after seeing someone else he tried to protect die, AFTER having weeks or months of growing doubt in his constructed facade shattered the illusion enough to where, with you and him fallen into the Lifestream alive, you could help him pull the real ones together."

I give her a moment to process that, before I get really cruel. By my standards, anyway.

"So, go ahead and ask him why he suddenly decided to become a SOLDIER, if you want. And if you need some other evidence that I'm telling the truth, ask Nanaki – Red, as you know him – about how I went directly to a cabinet and got us a free Megaelixir, where there was no reason to expect one to be there. When you get to the end of the Mythril Mine, see if the Turks are there chasing Sephiroth like we are now. When you get to the Golden Saucer, see if Barret's old friend Dyne doesn't go crazy and kill a bunch of people with his gunarm, leading the owner to blame Barret & Friends.

"And when you've acquired the Black Materia, which Sephiroth wants because it's capable of summoning Meteor and badly wounding the Planet...so that the Lifestream funnels its entirety to healing it, he can absorb it all and become a god; when Cloud involuntarily hands it over to him because Sephiroth is mind-controlling his weakened-self-identity ass through those Jenova cells; when Aerith sacrifices herself to summon Holy to counter it, only for Sephiroth to block the Planet from deploying it; when you're crying yourself to sleep for days in the hospital, at Cloud's side as he's in a nonresponsive state from the trauma of those events destroying his constructed self-identity, and an attack by one of the Planet's weapons sends both of you into the Lifestream, into his subconscious, and you help him discard the false memories to piece together what really happened...maybe then you'll believe I know what I'm talking about when I say: you are important to him."

_I'll take Emotional Whiplash for $2000, Alex...and make it a True Daily Double._

Tifa blinks, and for a moment I think she's going to pass out entirely from the metric fuckton of plot I just infodumped on her. She's hardier than that, though, and only lowers her head into her hands. I give her a minute, washing the pans and keeping an eye on the door for anyone coming in.

She speaks up a few minutes later. "…...I need a freaking drink."

"Same here." I take two of the freshly-washed glasses and fill them with some chilled water from the refrigerator. "Here you go, one homeopathic dilution of a glass of vodka." I placed one on the table nearby and slid it towards her. I pull a swig from mine, and it was oh so soothing to my tense vocal cords.

"...this is tap water, there's no alcohol in it."

"Exactly! But y'know, something-something 'water molecular memory', something-something it's magic. I almost wish we'd bought some beer, but hey. IDs, money waste, all that."

She just gives me a tired look and pulls it to her...with the Long-range materia, apparently. "Whatever. How did you say you know all this?"

"It was a well-loved story, in a video game – you have those here? Awesome – played by millions. There were spin-offs, sequel movies and games which were...less loved, a couple prequels, the whole nine yards. The original game's translation was…lacking, where I'm from, but let's just say it got sorted out later. It's complicated."

"….a game. Our lives are a game-"

"In the world I'm from? Yes. To me, here, now? Fuck no. And I want to stop as much of this shit as I can."

I've rarely cussed heavily in front of anyone here, unless I was in pain, so it gets the point across.

She took another moment before she rose, and we got back to the dishes. We talked a bit longer, and I apologized for dumping so much on her. "I...won't say it's fine, Beth. I need some time...but thank you, for telling me. About Cloud."

I smile, slightly. "I get ya. And, anytime, Tifa." Uh, that Cloud isn't around. Or one of the others, before I tell them. And not when I'm trying to fall asleep...so not just anytime.

Nanaki chose that point to fumble open the house's front door, and you remember what happened.

* * *

**One dragon-elf-thing-banishing, and a bit of Turk-y basting, later**

Her eyes are a little suspicious, yet worried (_for me?_) rather than fearful like earlier, and as I return her gaze with my partly-suppressed panic they soften. "...I really hope you know what you're doing." She hesitates a moment, before slowly handing me back my staff. I take it, and she sighs, before giving me a quick hug.

"...thanks, I needed that." I hug her back...I guess our conversation early this morning was a good thing! We let go a moment later and she steps away towards the roots as well.

"What Barret says still applies, yeah?" It's not a question; I nod all the same, and she follows Barret up before walking out.

Cloud assists Nanaki up by letting him use his back as a jumping-off platform – "_nobody tosses me_" – and straightens back up. He just gives me a _look_ that petrifies me, before jumping directly to the ledge and landing on his feet and following Tifa and Nanaki out.

Joy to the me. I sigh and follow them out.

"You have information regarding Sephiroth's location and destination?" Tseng prompted, after we've all filed out of the mine.

My heart is pummeling inside me, and I'm sweating in my gloves – I'm well aware these guys are, for all the comedic rivalry they're played for, and the individuals' good hearts, _field agents of an intelligence department._ I lean on my staff, musing _hop__efully__ I loo__k__ more like a female __version of__ Gandalf before Théoden, __and less __the__Mr. "I Wasn't Dropping No Eaves, Sir!" movie-version of Samwise Gamgee I feel like._

"Yes, sir. 'Sephiroth' will likely stow away on a ship, destination Costa del Sol, amidst the distraction of Rufus Shinra's inauguration parade. Fact is, however, _that is not truly Sephiroth_. He's one of Hojo's experiments, the result of injecting Sephiroth's cells into the survivors of the Nibelheim Incident. Given their...not meeting the standards necessary to resist, their minds were shattered and egos erased. There are twelve of them...Sephiroth Copies, of a limited and artificial sort."

At those two magic words, Tseng's eyes widen, then narrow, and I hear an annoyed growl from Rude. I continue on, "Hojo had something he called the Jenova Reunion Theory – that even if Jenova's body was dismembered, the pieces would endeavor to rejoin the main body, influencing the minds of any creatures they had been implanted in to do so."

The Turk folds his arms in front of him."That...seems impossible."

I just shake my head and raise my arms in a, 'what can ya do?' gesture. "And yet, we have Sephiroth Copies roaming around. One 'are' sick in a concrete pipe in a slum in Midgar, if he hasn't left to do Sephiroth's bidding. The others, if they aren't still in Nibelheim, then I only know where they're going." I pause for effect...and breath. "The Northern Crater, where Jenova impacted 2,000 years ago, and where Sephiroth's true body was carried when mister Badass Amnesiac over here," I gesture at Cloud, who looks at me severely nonplussed, "summoned Power of Friendship-enhance strength to _lift __Sephiroth_ by the very Masamune _stabbed through his __own __chest_ and _throw _him off the platform, into the depths...and into the Lifestream."

Tseng has no further expression on his face. I know full-well it's an intimidation tactic to get more information out me, but I'm already spilling my guts on purpose here. _Hopefully it doesn't become literal_.

I straighten up and, best I can with a staff in my hand, cross my arms. "So, yeah. Hojo showed up after the incident, and carted off the survivors – including Cloud Strife and Zack Fair – to the basement of Shin-Ra Mansion, and started the Reunion experiment there. Cloud...well, he probably going to be one of the Sephiroth Copies, his mind wasn't quite strong enough to survive the Mako poisoning, but he was busted out by Zack." I shake my head – I'm getting away from myself, and explaining who broke Zack out (an Angeal Copy? I dunno, been a while since I watched those Crisis Core cutscenes) would throw my story into less productive questioning.

"...I see."

We both ignore the groaning from Cloud's increasing headache. "...Mr. Tseng, there's more. The Copies will head for the Temple of the Ancients, and then for North Crater, where the survivors will be slaughtered by the black-caped man we're chasing. They're innocents in this, pawns in one of Hojo's callous and unscientific experiments. If you have the resources to capture them, maybe they can be saved...or at least given some final dignity."

"Understood."

_That's not a yes, but it'll cut down the number of possible tools Sephiroth has available to retrieve the Black Materia!_ I nod.

Elena, perhaps unsurprisingly, is the first to break the silence. "Ignoring how you can possibly know any of this for a moment, why this 'Temple of the Ancients'?" she demands.

I look at her, images of Rufus Shinra threatening some rebellious area with the power of Meteor, then summoning it when the bluff is called, and Hojo doing experiments to extract some fraction of the power at Rufus' behest for...more manageable 'percussive political maintenance'. I close my eyes and take another deep breath. "You don't need to know, and given what could happen if that place is controlled by anyone? You really DON'T want to know. You wouldn't believe me anyway."

"Continue, Miss Beth. You have proof of any of this?" Tseng is not in a mood for games, it seems.

"Hmm… The records should still be in Shin-Ra mansion's basement, along with Vincent Valentine, former Turk turned Hojo experimentee, sleeping in a coffin of sorts I think? I'm not sure where Lucrecia, Sephiroth's human mother, is...but Hojo might, I don't remember. Maybe you can catch the Sephiroth Copy boarding the ship before it leaves Junon?" I shrug helplessly.

"Perhaps." Tseng finally cracks enough to shift his arms around to cross in front, and rub at the headache forming between his eyebrows. "If any of this is true… it will be troublesome indeed. We will investigate these claims as we see fit."

He gives me that stare again, before mostly turning his back on us. "You will be coming with us. I certainly hope this will not cause an issue."

_Uh, yes, yes it fucking does!_ "Of course, that's won't be a problem at all." _I do not feel like being tossed in a holding cell for however long it takes you to get someone available for 'enhanced interrogation techniques', thank you very much!_ I pull my PHS out and flip it open, then fiddle with it a bit to pull up the texting function to a pre-written message and select a recipient. "Let's see….how about next Thursday? I could never get the hang of those anyway, might as well spice it up a bit. You'll probably have to give me a lift, but we can get lunch."

Elena and Tifa choke off disbelieving laughs at this; my hopeful smile just gets a little sheephish.

"I will rephrase. Rude, take Miss Beth into custody. Cloud Strife, you are coming with us now as well – for your own protection, you understand. As for the rest of you..." He looks over at AVALANCHE's other members, ignoring Tifa's immediate protests. "...I would appreciate it if you stayed out of our way, and kept this information to yourselves."

"Sorry, but they have a bone to pick with Sephiroth for burning most of Nibelheim to the ground," I point out, though I have to raise my voice pretty loud to be heard over Barret's complaints, and the little scuffle that breaks out trying to hold him back for the moment. Thankfully, he still doesn't have one of his gun attachments on, and when he sees the gun Elena has pointed at him, he shakes off Cloud and Aerith's hold and grumbles furiously. "Cloud and Tifa both. He's not going to go willingly, Tifa won't leave him to the tender mercies of Shin-Ra for...extremely valid reasons, and I don't think you can justify leaving Aerith with just two guards running all over the place to the higher-ups, once they notice she's gone." I send the message to Tifa, who had agreed to keep her PHS on silent for just this sort of result.

Don't look at me like that, I did mention we talked more, before Nanaki came in.

"And just what do you suggest? We just...let them go? Ignore the wanted terrorists running around, spreading mayhem of their own?" Tseng challenged me. "I cannot do that, and somehow I don't think they'd cooperate as a group."

"Let them go, 'hire' them as deniable assets to continue their pursuit of Sephiroth, whichever. They may cause some trouble, yes…" _especially if they stop at Fort Condor a few times_ "but not more than they're worth. Especially if Cloud gets the help he needs."

He adopts a thoughtful pose for a few moments. _His orders don't concern AVALANCHE, that's why he doesn't bother trying to arrest them in the game, stay calm!_ "So be it. You are still coming with us, however. Don't resist, and I'll guarantee your safety."

_Oh dog damnit._ "….very well, if I must. _Freedom_ and safety are both vital...but I will trade mine for theirs. I ask only that the Turks are the only ones who know of me – not Rufus, not that imbecile Heidigger, and for the love of all that is Holy, _not Hojo_."

"You are in no position to bargain."

"We have YOU outnumba'd 'N' outmatch'd. I'd say we got plenty position."

I twist around to give him a _'please stop helping' _ look. "Barret? Stoopid chances, poor payoff versus stoopid chances with better possible payoffs."

"Wha? ...oh."

I turn back to Tseng. "Please, sir, it's not much to ask. I suspect your orders are only to pursue Sephiroth, not apprehend other individuals, otherwise that ambush would've been very different indeed." _Suspect, know, whatev. _I remove my bangle and toss it to Tifa, followed by my staff, to make it damn clear: _I am not going to resist_._ Plz don't kill __or experiment on__ me._

"Very well, Miss Beth." He nods to Rude, who is...ironically polite as he handcuffs my hands in front of me – _not gonna correct him on that – _and escorts me away from what I suspect is a group befuddled, pissed-off, and maybe a little bit worried about me.

"...Aerith. Long time no see. Looks like you got away from the Shin-Ra, for a while, now that Sephiroth reappeared."

"So, what, I should be grateful to him?"

Their voices trail off into unintelligibility as Rude leads me to a shut-down Shin-Ra helicopter and boosts me inside the crew compartment before pulling himself inside. I don't recognize the pilot from the back of his or her hair. "Buckle in and get comfortable, they'll be here shortly, and then we've got a while to fly."

"Where are we going? Junon, like Elena said?"

"Probably. Elena is….too eager, but she's got a good head for what's important."

* * *

**To: Tifa Lockhart**

**From: Beth Renault**

If you're reading this, then the Turks opted to take me with them.

I pretty much figured this was the best outcome likely to happen – they're effectively an intelligence agency, and they'll want to at least debrief me. Please try not to worry about me, okay? I don't like being a burden.

I've told you most of the things you need to know about. Telling Cloud anything not specifically related to his memories is probably a bad idea, and if a certain loudmouth Materia-stealing jailbait ninja joins you in a forest...well, yeah, definitely don't tell her. (And, until she's actually joined you, do not take your eyes off her!) Barret will probably get seriously pissed off, both at me and at himself when he starts thinking in circles about what to do; he'd probably try to kick Cloud out, only to discover he's really, really not in charge of AVALANCHE any more. :P Nanaki's extremely intelligent, though for his species he's rather young. You can trust him. Aerith as well – and she'll be grateful to know what happened to her ex-boyfriend, Zack. :)

Aerith is your ally, not your competition. ;) She knew Zack, and Cloud reminds her of him enough to pique her interest. She sees him as his own person, though. She comes to love him too. Yeah, that sounds like competition, but it doesn't need to be. She has a big heart, and if you two trust each other, communicate, and act and build on that trust, I think you can all be happy together. The three of you deserve the love. :)

If she dies, Cloud blames himself for _two years, _at a minimum. The entire group blames themselves, really, but Cloud worst of all for being manipulated, and his guilt nearly ends your relationship with him, too.

I know this is a huge burden I'm leaving on you, and I hate to ask even more, but please: open up to Cloud. Walk him through the memories you share, tell him what you remember happening when it's different. Don't act on your fears, don't hold back. DO tell him how you feel. Cloud has to have a strong self-identity, else Sephiroth can AND WILL tear at the seams. He'll mock Cloud as being an empty puppet, even going so far as to say he was created from just Mako, Jenova, and memories copied from you with a passive effect of Jenova's cells. IT IS A LIE, and the prequel stories make that very clear, so don't even worry about that.

Oh, and if you meet a robotic cat on a robotic giant Moogle, that's remotely controlled by a Shin-Ra employee named Reeve. In the story, he comes around and spies on Shin-Ra instead...so please accept him. He makes some things easier.

I hope I'll be able to rejoin you soon, and that doing so won't be a strain.

Try not to die, please, I like you guys. And if it seems one of you has, USE YOUR DAMN PHOENIX DOWNS AND CHECK FOR A PULSE. You have fucking healing magic and potions, you should at _least_ be able to stop the bleeding and prevent infections long enough to get them to a hospital!

Ps hlp frt condor plz s waits sry 4 evrythn

* * *

Tseng climbed into the chopper, Elena jumping in after and making sure I had the harness on correctly while he shut and latched the doors. To my great surprise, Rude then unlocked the cuffs and removed them.

"So...it's been over two months since Zirconiade was destroyed. You dropped right off the radar. No calls, no messages – we thought Jade Weapon had gotten you! How have you been, Cissnei?"

* * *

**Author's Notes**

TRIGGER_WARNING="Blasphemy"

Well, crap. This can't end well.

At least we know why the Turks are being gentle with her – they take care of their own, and their friends.

If I ever rewrite this story, I'll put the hair color references in an earlier chapter, and add some mention of it being shoulder-length. You may have noticed that Beth doesn't describe the body she woke up in, beyond 'female, bitten, and bruised' – part of this is that, as the narrator, she doesn't think it so important as the events she's dealing with, and part is that I was perhaps too scared of giving away the twist. :D

If you noticed in Chapter 5 Aerith's mention of Beth's brown eyes, and thought of Cissnei's eye color… well, give yourself a cookie, because that's a heck of a jump. Beth hasn't even used the same weapon type! xD

Personally, I've aways wondered why Tifa didn't think Cloud was there at Nibelheim – she stood over his unconscious body while Zack fought off the Angeal monster and degrading Type-G SOLDIERs at the reactor in _Crisis Core. _I'm going to put it down to, "she never took his helmet off, so he might've _looked_ familiar then, but his hair and eyes were hidden; later events put it out of mind."

...to be honest, I vastly prefer the depiction of events in the _Last Order_ OVA to those in _Crisis Core_. Tifa was "only" knocked aside by Sephiroth and fell down a flight of stairs hard enough to bounce. She was still conscious, or at least regained consciousness when Cloud picked her up and moved her **_(MASSIVE no-no to possible spinal injuries! Jesus Hatefucking Christ those animators need a first-aid and CPR training course! __No wonder her teacher had such difficulty healing her...__)_**, to actually talk to him, it was so sweet. She might've written it off as a fever dream, her mind making things up so that Cloud had fulfilled his promise to come save her if she was in trouble, and promptly forgot about it, so it would still be FF7-canon-compliant.

Wouldn't be that hard to write off Elena(?)'s presence in the chopper looking for Zack & Cloud as her not being all _that_ new – the search was in late September, and Cloud & Friends don't meet the Turks in the mine until December. Except...she says she was promoted _because_ the party put Reno out of commission. Huh, maybe that _wasn't_ Elena then, but one of the Turks from the _Before Crisis_ game?

The depiction of Tseng and the Turks (several more than seen in Crisis Core and FF7) showed more personality, and more of Tseng's conflict and regret. But _noooo_, they had to make it non-canon to the _Compilation of Final Fantasy VII_, because of "negative fan response due to changes in content and presentation from the original _Final Fantasy VII_ game". (Wikipedia's article on the OVA, 13 April 2019)

I think it was actually because the animators left out young Tifa's cowgirl hat. ;)

If you're interested in watching _Last Order: Final Fantasy VII_ in North America, pick up a copy of the "Limited Edition Collector's Set" of _Advent Children_, released by Sony Pictures Home Entertainment in 2007 (**not** the 2009 _Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children Complete_ version, sadly). It's subtitled, if you care about that sort of thing.

(I won't get into _that_ argument – it's like _vim_ vs _emacs_, Kefka vs Sephiroth, or Tifa vs Aerith – nobody wins on any side, including the oh-so-high-and-mighty one mocking the other people involved. :P )

* * *

I hate the "comment and subscribe" spiels that infect YouTube, and the reasons they're needed, but I'll say this anyway: Please feel free to give constructive criticism or praise as you see fit by reviewing! You don't _have_ to, but it gives me more ideas to work off of.

For example, you'll see that verynew commented a couple of chapters ago: "I wonder if Beth can learn how to cast magic without materia." A good question! It made me think of FF6, where equipping Magicite not only let you summon the Esper that it formed from, and lets you cast a few spells from it, but lets you learn the spells permanently at various rates.

Materia aren't shown to work that way anywhere in the _Compilation_, and are specified to be the crystallized wisdom of the Planet itself and not something sentient enough to teach anything, so that method is a no-go. Beth's limited to what's available to a single person or small team.

I know, I know – funny how I insist on sticking to canon there when I mucked with the calendar system. Blame Hojo.

Some Limit Breaks are more-or-less magic, in my opinion. Cloud's Cross Slash can cast Stop, or simply damage the nervous system to cause paralysis; his Blade Beam is obviously magical (and even treated as such if you use it on a single target); then there's Meteorain. Frickin' Meteorain, how does it work?!

Other suspects include Tifa's Waterkick (if StrategyWiki is to be believed, it's water-elemental), Yuffie's Clear Tranquil and Landscaper, Nanaki's Blood Fang, Cid's Dragon, and literally every single one of Aerith's Limits. Vincent...well, I don't even know how to explain that bit of building-block genetic magic.

Aside from Limit Breaks, I have a few ideas Beth can work on, but I don't want to turn her into a God Mode Sue either. She'll have to earn her power, just like everyone else.

There _is_ a canon instance of learning to use magic without any Materia...but that involved falling into the Lifestream and directly absorbing the wisdom of the Planet for _four years_, rather than using the crystallized form, and (judging from what I've read of the Japanese version) getting at least partially-possessed by an Eldritch Abomination, or vice-versa. Nobody wants a Bethiroth, assuming an unenhanced human could even survive such an experience! :D

**Edit:** Some of the italicization got dropped in the upload. Last time I try formatting paragraphs to have first-line spaces for easy, book-like reading. Sorry, it's fixed now, I think.


	7. A Brief History of FINE

#import COPYRIGHT_OWNERSHIP_DENIAL

TRIGGER_WARNINGS= "Landmines and a brief mention of their effects"

Another point of view. There's a fair bit of cussing.

* * *

**Chapter 7: A Brief History of _FINE_**

I'll do you a solid and skip the travelogue of how we regrouped and left the mine and headed for the mountain with the giant gold bird on the top.

Okay, so we arrived at Fort Condor. I figured, we need a place to rest anyway; sure, I'm pissed at _SOMEBODY_ but we might as well see what's going on, right?

For a place that's been a battleground held against the Shin-Ra for months, by such dedicated people, the man outside let us in without a fuss. Great, so all those leeches have to do is slowly infiltrate people inside by posing as mercenaries and concerned people, then stab 'em in the back.

_Frack__ing amateurs...they're going to get themselves killed!_

Still, they were the guardians of a precious condor egg and its mother, some of the rarer life of the planet, fighting a war against Shin-Ra – of course we were going to help!

Tseng can go suck off an Ark Dragon if he's got a problem with that. Complete with a Flamethrower ending, if you know what I mean.

* * *

After a beastly battle – _oh hell Aerith's rubbing off on me_ – the village's military...chief? General? He was vague on that. Guy in charge, he thanked all of us for our help and let us take whatever spoils we found on the field. Given that there was like one guy actually assigned to the assault, there was pretty much jack and shit, but Red has a fancy new comb out of it.

We sleep that night, only for another battle early the next morning, with nearly twice the enemies for me to beat like eggs.

And a third, a few hours after that.

It was at this point I sent an angry message off: "_We are going to have to work on our communication._" I wasn't expecting a reply, and I wasn't disappointed.

* * *

Barret taught a few of the mercenaries what he knew about explosives, so they started building traps which were rather more vicious than any future attackers would expect….and more dangerously indiscriminate than _anybody_ else present was comfortable with.

Aerith had flat-out refused to participate in further battles with _landmines_ involved. "I want to help the condor! Really! Still, I do _not_ want to see or hear people having their legs blown off, or worse, have something _not explode_ in battle and get set off later by someone who has _nothing to do with this fight_."

_Big heart, indeed. And an enraged face that would make a mother Behemoth shed a tear of pride._

They stuck to wired demo charges after that, I understand.

'Mr. General Chief Sir, Minister of Defense' – Aerith's title for him – was quite understanding when we healed our behinds and left, waving off our apologies and thanking us for our help. I slipped the 'Minister' a few thousand gil – _my poor wallet, she weeps!_ – on our way out, along with a few words of caution about looking out for infiltrators, but the reaction was unexpected.

"Actually, we had a couple try, but we have some people who… have past experience with doing that sort of thing. They fed the condors before they could do anything else."

_Well, these guys sure are hardened vets at this point. They'll be fine._

I gave the giant bird at the top of the mountain a last look as we left. _I hope so, anyhow._

* * *

_Oh you motherfracke__rs have GOT to be kidding me, another bunch?_

We took that camp out too, with a _Haste_y ambush that prevented most of the various beasts from being released from their cages and while the Wyverns were gone hunting.

This commander clearly didn't take such expensive care of his hair, opting for keeping his men healthy, judging by the jar of concentrated Megaelixir I found in his tent. We stirred some into water from our canteens and drank it – six people versus six people is a pretty even fight...but when you throw those three beasts who liked their handlers enough to not need caged, just a muzzle that can quickly be removed by anyone with working thumbs? We took some injuries, and both Barret and Aerith had some minor MP stroke from the day's conflicts, so it was well worth it.

Honestly, I'm kinda disturbed now. _Somebody who actually gives a shit about others, working for the Shin-Ra corporation? _I put it aside for now, but it reminds me of the spy Beth's message told me about. _Don't want to think about it right now._

* * *

We took to the forest in hopes of not having more battles against overwhelming odds. We got our wish on the latter, but the former?

Well, let's just say I snagged a couple little somethings from my visit to the Don's dungeon, and they've made Yuffie _so-oo-oooo_ much more bearable. And made Aerith give me some entertaining looks when she thinks I'm not looking.

I took the cuffs off, later – it was just so she knew better than to try stealing our stuff again.

* * *

We hurried the rest of the way to Junon without anything else really noteable happening.

At this point, its been four days since she left with the Turks, and we still haven't gotten so much as a message from our sweet, loveable, _dear_ friend Beth.

Once we arrived in Lower Junon, we split up. Yuffie and Barret found that the 'Weapon' shop had literally zero weapons. No, really: zip, zero, nada. Red and Cloud found the elevator to Upper Junon to be locked down. Nothing really going on, but we heard rumors that there was going to be a big parade.

Meanwhile, Aerith and I went down to the beach to… _talk._ And no, I'm not going to tell you how it went. Our walk ended when we ran into a little girl named Priscilla playing with a dolphin… thankfully she didn't step into that polluted crap of an ocean, but was just having him jump out of the water and trying to teach him how to say her name.

Sweet girl.

Nearly became monster bait, and so nearly did we trying to save her.

Turns out, even Mako reactor pollution-mutated flying sea serpents fall to fists, if they hit like the wind. Aerith had to pop me out of some sort of bubble, and I her, along the way – it was like the weird attack Reno used, way back in Midgar. Couldn't break out from the inside, couldn't be heard from outside. Anyway, we kicked its tail fin fast enough to drag Priscilla out of the water and perform CPR on her; her dad had heard the commotion and come running from… wherever he was.

As her father carried her up the hill back to their house, he asked us to accompany him, so we did. He introduced himself as "Mister McDrogal. Redmane, to my friends, and for saving my daughter from that mutant you two count as friends." He kissed his daughter's drying forehead. "Please, come inside, my wife will want to thank you too.

Tseng was waiting at the door, with Rude standing next to him, and addressed Redmane immediately. "I understand you're busy; please, do what you need to, but afterwards, I would like to offer the services of a doctor, free of charge. Just to make sure she doesn't have any complications from the seawater, nor brain injury from oxygen deprivation, you understand." He raised a hand to interrupt before I could demand _what the hell his game is_, and added, to me, "No strings, no obligations."

"...I don't know you, and something like that has to go through my wife. But come inside too."

* * *

Redmane and his wife, Darlene, were rather stand-offish once I revealed Tseng as working for the Shin-Ra. After all, it was the wartime construction of what's now known as Upper Junon that's ruined the livelihood of nearly everyone who lived below.

Tseng got snippy then, and introduced himself, "Yes, I am Tseng, in charge of the Investigation Sector of the General Affairs Department of Shinra Electric Power Company. My colleague and I are not here on behalf of Shinra, nor any partially or wholly-owned subsidiaries. I'm here off-duty, as a personal favor to somebody, that is all."

There was some back and forth after that, and Darlene asked all of us to leave… but not before overruling her husband and accepting the Turks' offer.

* * *

The others had gotten done with whatever they'd gone off to do, and saw us walk out. "Care to tell me when or if you'll be returning Beth?" Cloud inquired, though from his tone it was meant as anything but polite.

Tseng simply answered, "No. You can ask her yourself, when the time comes. Here." He nodded at Rude, who stepped forward with a large, bulging envelope in his hands.

Cloud took it, slowly, suspicion written across his face. Tseng nodded pointedly towards it, and with a small huff Cloud opened it. I stepped up next to Cloud and frowned at the contents: six fake IDs, with pictures of people looking similar enough to us to pass at brief inspection; a few pages of instructions; and a bottle with a few pills of tranquilizers.

"What is this supposed to be?!" Cloud demanded of the long-haired man.

"You need a way on the ship, we've arranged for a safer method to do so."

"…...why?" I ask, cursing how small I always sound. "Why would you help?"

"…...the job of the Turks is to protect Shinra, Inc., by performing various missions assigned to us by _any_ means we deem necessary. At the moment, our assignment is, as Elena so _helpfully_ informed you, to apprehend Sephiroth." He paused a moment. "The Turks always finish the mission, no matter what. Take that as you will."

Rude picked up after that _oh so freaking helpful_ cryptic answer. "You instructions will tell you where to find the disguises and equipment you will need to board. Your cover will _not_ hold well under scrutiny if you enter restricted areas. I suggest you remain in the assigned quarters in the lower decks of the ship and perform the assigned patrols. As for the man in the black cape… should he appear, neutralize him, if possible."

"…...alright. That's what I was going to do, anyway."

"Reporting will not be necessary. Despite your...reluctance to do as asked, in that department," – _I DO NOT WORK FOR YOU – _"we'll be informed of the results."

Then they turned and left us just standing there at the base of the stairway, holding the papers and IDs. Cloud and I looked at each other, wondering, _'the hell?'_

* * *

"From there, we went to the Respectable Inn and collected these uniforms from a locker, restocked on first-aid supplies, got _these_ lovely babies you're familiar with now, spotted Rude in a dive bar, ran into the other three in another, and – denied even a _goddamn _drink to deal with this shit – walked onboard this lovely...luxurious..._cushy _courier ship, the _S.S. __Anne._ And then I find your pale ass lying in Yuffie's bunk, waiting for us, and you play all small and apologetic and and… oh, you going to _explain things_. To _all of us._ I am _not_ going to be carrying this shit alone.

"So, keep the Ice on that eye. We'll be –"

"_Emergency alert! Reports of a suspicious character found on board! Those not on detail, search the ship. Report when found! I repeat, suspicious character found on board. Those not on detail, search the ship. Report when found!"_

"– meeting up and looking for 'Sephiroth'."

Beth...or _whatever _her name is, sucked in a pained breath from the floor of the quarters Aerith, Yuffie, and I were sharing. "I-I-I'm sorry, I told you..."

"Yeah, you did. You told me just enough to manipulate me," I spat, and _oh wow, I haven't seen someone so horrified since Barret though Marlene had been crushed by the Sector 7 plate. _"Stay here, and try not to bleed all over the place, for a bit."

* * *

_Freaky little… well-meaning girl. I'm out of anger._ I scoff and shove her out of my mind as I climb up the steps up to the deck, and meet up with the others.

Cloud decides to take me and a reluctant Yuffie with him to search the cargo area and engine room, while Barret takes a _hilarious_-looking Nanaki,and Aerith, to search the passenger areas.

"I look forward to _burning_ this disguise," I hear Nanaki mutter as he wiggles out of it. Aerith helps him, before folding it away into her satchel. It bulges a bit at the bulk.

I quickly follow Cloud and Yuffie below deck, and we move together, shining flashlights into the corners of the cargo area. Yuffie snagged an All materia, to her quiet (and seasick) glee, but we quickly rule out 'Sephiroth' being present, and move on to the engine room.

Okay, we run smack into a group of _actual_ marines, who were assigned to search the area and knew we shouldn't be there too, beat them up, and take their stuff, but we get there.

There's a Shin-Ra security officer standing at the controls. _Odd, shouldn't there be an engineer or something, instead?_

Cloud asks him if _he_'s Sephiroth – _why would you think that, Cloud? He's hardly wearing a black cape – _only for the officer to blink out of existence after he turned around. "No...not Sephiroth." _No shit._

The voice from my nightmares comes from the walkway above us, and I shudder before _hate_ replaces the fear. "…...After a long sleep...the time…...time has...come."

_What the hell..._ "Cloud, look!" I exclaim, as he'd been looking up. For once, horror movies have trained us wrong, because the monster came up from _below_, like a ghost through Goddess-knows how much steel

"Sephiroth! You're alive!" Cloud's as dismayed as I to discover that the rumors really were true – the hero-turned-villain who destroyed our hometown really _is_ still alive. _But...if Cloud threw him from the reactor… _I shake my head of the doubts, for now.

"…...Who are you?" _Well, it has been five years..._

Cloud shakes his head, surprised. "You don't remember me!? I'm Cloud!"_ ...and given that infantry helmet, I didn't remember seeing him either._

"Cloud..."

"Sephiroth! What are you thinking!? What are you doing!?"

"...the time…...is now..."

"What?! What are you saying? Be more – aargh!"

_The guy can FLY?! Hey, get back here!_

Yuffie is less composed: "What the shit!? HEY! Get back here so we can - BLEARGH!"

"You gonna be alright?!" _Or are you going to get yourself killed __against OH MY WHAT the _ _& ■ __is that?!_ _It's...GROWING_! The arm sprouted a body, and a head, and _this is so impossible_. I look back to Yuffie.

She wipes her mouth. "Psshaw, it's you ya should worry about, let's just get rid of this thing… quickly..."

"Agreed." I look the ugly thing over – it looks almost...half-formed, like it began growing wings but messed them up and gave up; a small head, humanoid other than the blue mandibles, so hunched over it almost seems in the center of its chest; a wasp-like waste flares out in a mockery of a ballroom dress, and there are tails or tentacles sprouting from behind and its side. It hurts to think about too long. "I'm _Sense-_ing_...urk…_" a nauseating feeling comes through the yellow materia when I focus it, but I power through."**Level 25… Jenova-BIRTH (Outsider). HP… 4000 of 4000, MP 110 of 110**. No weaknesses detected."

"Got it. Try to _Slow_ it down, Tifa. Yuffie, throw things at it." Cloud charged in with a Climhazard, dodging _laser beams_ to stab it near the ground, and then _jumped _into the air. Yuffie's protest at how _lame_ that is cut off in favor of a star-struck "Whooaaaa".

Beth's materia whispers to me from my guard bangle, a chant like she had used… but there's no Time, as I dodge another burst of laser aimed at me. I simply fire off a normal _Slow_, which thankfully takes effect.

Yuffie comes out of her daze and flings her large shuriken at Jenova's right wing, hoping to distract it. It works, judging from the bleary glare, but then Yuffie simply stops moving, balanced on one foot in the middle of stepping back. The shuriken returns to its owner, but thankfully scrapes across the floor and falls over instead of hitting her.

"_Yuffie, move!"_ I tackle her away from another burst of laser, this one from its tail, but it's like knocking over a squishy statue. I roll to my feet with the inertia, and drag the ninja out of the way.

By the time I'm back in the fight, Cloud's looking somewhat the worse for wear, and I toss a _Cura_ spell at him before I circle around behind the threat. There's not much room to do so, but I'm able to duck under one of the 'wings' and land some hard blows.

Honestly, this thing is all offense and, aside from the apparent _Stop_ spell, no defense. I smirk as I realize this, and do my full best to all but break a foot off in its ass. Between us, Cloud and I take the thing down inside of two minutes. Yuffie rejoins the rest of us in time to grab her shuriken and land the final blow, before it breaks apart and dies.

Who knew getting seasick on it was its only weakness?

While Yuffie is freaking out over one of the tentacles still moving, Cloud's acting weird again. "That was… Jenova. This is the arm of Jenova."

"Jenova… He's been carrying this _thing_ around?" I see Yuffie's still very much bothered, and I'm not exactly keen on it either, so I step on it and grind it into the deckplates; it twitches a few times more and stops.

"So, it WAS Sephiroth," Cloud declared, as if he went to get a jug of milk from the fridge and finding it was as expired and rancid as he'd been worried it was.

Yuffie piped in with, "He was mumbling something about time!"

"…...Time...is now?" He looked down at the deck, musing.

"I'm getting so confused..." I think out loud. _Hmm. Let's see what he thinks of all this. _"Cloud, explain what's happened so far."

"...I'll try, but don't interrupt me while I'm explaining." _Cold. _"Sephiroth went off searching for the Promised Land, so he could become ruler of the planet. That was 5 years ago." He stops and corrects himself, "No...he didn't 'go off'...that's right, I… remember… right, what Beth said, I threw him off the walkway in the reactor. He fell into the depths of the reactor, with Jenova's head."

"Then, Sephiroth came back and killed President Shinra." He turned to face me. "And then just now all of us saw Sephiroth. He was carrying Jenova with him. ...This much I do know. He told me he wants to go to the Promised Land with his mother, Jenova." He thinks for a moment. "...I guess that's about it."

"More or less." Beth's leaning against the side of the doorway, arms crossed, one eye clearly darkened but showing signs of _Cure_ usage. Something in me rebels at this, _can't she just accept her punishment?, _before I in turn rebel against the thought. She...really, the gut-shot was enough to get my point across.

"Beth. You're up. ...sorry, I went overboard expressing my feelings earlier."

"...technically, I'm down, on a lower deck, and I'm very glad you didn't go overboard – we'd have no way to fish you out of the ocean." She smirks at me. "Apology accepted, but please at least try to let me explain myself first next time?"

"...agreed." I find myself smirking back at her.

The intercom sounded again, after we had our moment. "_Dock workers – We will be docking in Costa del Sol in 5 minutes. Prepare for docking."_

"Well, that's my cue, I guess," the auburn-haired girl sighed, and walked down the steps into the engine room. I see Rude step in behind her, no sunglasses for once – he eyes land on me before looking away. "Could y'all scoot well aside for a bit, please? Ideally, behind me. Oh, Tifa, clean the soles and outside of your shoes first, then your gloves, with these, please," she requested, handing me a bottle of 91% rubbing alcohol and a paper towel from her pocket.. She went on to explain, "Jenova has annoying properties: its cells tend to get into other organisms and control them, if there's too much biomass, or they'll absorb whatever organic matter they can to replicate and regenerate. Or they'll just violate the laws of conservation of mass and energy and magically grow a body, if there's enough of them together. Or they'll just act like a virus, and make a person sick."

As she pulls out a shuriken like Yuffie's and checks the arrangement of the materia, we decide to do as she says.

Surprisingly, Yuffie's the one to ask the logical question… _or maybe she just gets to it first_, "Ew, that's GROSS! So, what're we supposed to do?"

"Ideally, take off and _Ultima_ it from orbit. Repeatedly. That's not exactly a workable option here, so…" she paused to make sure we were in position, "we'll do the next-best thing. _Purifying flames, awaken, oxidize and reduce: Fira!_ The engine room floor where Jenova-BIRTH stood, where the arm landed, and some ways about, were blackened by the fire; the ceiling lit up from the minutes of combustion. _Glad the ventilation's working, sucking the smoke out. _"You'll need to do the same with your weapons, Cloud and Yuffie. Fire's more likely to work, as long as the metal heats up to at least 132 Celsius for 4 minutes."

"Wait, won't that damage them?" Yuffie asked anxiously.

"Maybe the wrapping of the grip," Beth admitted, "but that's easy enough to replace."

Cloud popped out the materia from his blade, and Beth traded another paper towel for the weapon. I handed off the rubbing alcohol, and but we hesitated when Beth added, "I'm not entirely sure the alcohol will have as much effect as we'd like, but I doubt anybody wants to risk setting their feet on fire or ruining their shoes, either, so… your choice. Oh! Maybe you can soak the soles in alcohol, then set the alcohol on fire and let it burn off. My chemistry teacher did that with a dollar bill once, it was fine… don't try it at home, kids."

I, for one, decided to take my chances… and channel a basic, sustained _Fire_ to burn off anything from my shoes. I'm not stupid enough to take the warnings of someone who knows what they're talking about lightly. Yuffie and Cloud...stuck with the alcohol, but were thorough with it. Several times.

"_...wait a second.._.ugh... how do you know my name?" the ninja demanded.

"I'll explain later, it's a long story," Beth answered. "Longer in the convincing than the telling."

"I am so sick of being blown off by old people...what, you think I can't handle the truth, don'tcha? You think I don't know how to keep secrets? Why, I once – oh, no, can't tell that story. But I can, all ninja are trained-"

"I believe you, and that's a relief to hear. Later, though, alright, with the others?"

"Hmph."

I swear I hear Beth mutter, "_Well, ex-CUUse ME, Princess," _as she finishes sanitizing Cloud's sword, but she's all smiles when Yuffie relinquishes her weapon.

* * *

**MP Stroke: Know the Dangers!**

As the number and variety of Materia grow and they become commonplace in our society, it's important to understand one of the inherent dangers to excessive manipulation of universal forces: MP Stroke.

It's an advanced form of MP Exhaustion, but must never be confused for the lesser.

The subject may experience anything from migraines to permanent nervous tremors, falling unconscious, or even passing into a coma if repeatedly stressed. Deaths have been reported also.

If you or a colleague have been repeatedly channeling high-level spells, or even just many more lower-leveled than you normally perform, and you begin feeling a migraine, stop _immediately_ and seek treatment!

_This is a public service notice from the Phoenix Monastic Order_

* * *

**Author's Note**

Tifa is really shy and reserved on the outside, but she's had the weight of the world dropped on her shoulders by someone who then just up and left her with the problems… and in the process, got her involved with an arm of the corporation who killed her father. (Well, Sephiroth never collected that paycheck Anyone with a functioning sense of responsibility, justice, or just plain independence would get annoyed.

Tifa is _pissed_. Her thought processes reflect it, until she's had some time to get used to it (and had the opportunity to take out her frustration – I almost feel sorry for those Shin-Ra fighters. Almost.)

Today's Angry Inner Tifa brought to you by shamelessly referencing the Final Fantasy 7 Machinabridged series on YouTube. The only association I have with them is getting some damn good laughs from the series. I did try copying the same symbols they used to censor their Tifa's cussing, as shown in a segment where she was so drunk she needed subtitles...but FanFiction stripped some of them out, so it got censored the same way as the story title. Just, for thematic consistency with the inspiration. This story does have a T rating, after all.

Shoe soles are made of various different materials; I focused on what a quick search said hiking shoe soles were made of. Polyurethane, in the cross-linking/etc form used in shoe soles, is more durable (and, in my head, thus more likely to be used in such a high-wear environment as a Final Fantasy world); best I can find, it ignites around 416 Celsius, and melts (if not thermoset like I assume shoe soles would be in the process of being manufactured) from 85 Celsius to 121 Celsius. (So, a bit below to above boiling water, and both below the recommended sterilization temperatures. Ethylene-Vinyl Acetate (EVA) plastics are even less resistant to heat. (I am not a materials engineer, this is all from internet searches, please don't use me as a reference. **And DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS AT HOME.**)

Point is, in four minutes the party would certainly kill any Jenova cells, but they'd lose their footwear. The whole thing would leave them feeling...burned.

Fun fact: Priscilla is the diminutive form of the Roman name Prisca, which – from a none-too-thorough bit of research, means "ancient". The Cetra are also referred to as "the Ancients". Ifalna and Aerith (the latter of whom is only half-Cetra) are only known to be the last according to _Shinra Corp and Hojo_; between the Cetras' identical physical appearance to humans and the game's love of playing with unreliable narrators...I wouldn't be surprised if Priscilla is also at least part-Cetra, and if this made it easier for her to train and communicate with 'Mr. Dolphin'.

Much as if I wouldn't be if there's already a theory like this out there. _

Speaking of Mr. Dolphin, how the hell is it able to come up so close to shore without nearly running aground? Or manage to throw itself out of the water so far? (Besides "it's a Final Fantasy game, _it's fantasy."_ and "Artistic Biology/Hydrodynamics/Physics" – I'm gonna need 50cc's of Handwaving here.)


	8. Retroflexion

#import COPYRIGHT_OWNERSHIP_DENIAL

TRIGGER_WARNINGS="Mention of torture, flashbacks"

This story is now rated M.

* * *

**Chapter 8: Retroflexion**

"Argh, it's like _standing on the sun_," I complain. Costa del Sol is well-named, and it is apparently summertime here. Given that we've arrived around one-thirty in the afternoon, the tropical heat is getting to me quickly.

"I'm sure glad t' be rid of this sailor suit, that's for sure," Barret rumbled. "Yo, listen up! Y'all be sure to mingle like regular folks here!"

"Oh, too bad. I liked Barret's sailor suit," Aerith teased. "He looked so cute."

Barret, as you'd expect from such a big, burly man, is a bit put off by this. "…...What'ya mean, 'cute'?"

Tifa's not in much of a mood for the byplay after everything that's happened. "Um...never mind that. We need to have _a little chat_ with _Beth_ here… in private."

"We still need to chase after Sephiroth, don't forget. We don't have time to dilly-dally," Cloud reminded us.

"Oh, dilly-dally, shilly-shally, Cloud," Tifa brushed him off. "Hmm...um, you could...go scout ahead in the town?"

"It was necessary to leave behind the cart, and most of our provisions, when we left Junon. Perhaps you can find us a new one?" Nanaki suggested.

"…...sure, I guess I can do that. We don't have all that much gil left, but I can sell some ethers."

"Swell! I'll go with ya!" Yuffie cheered. _Likely hoping to rob a materia shop, or just get as far from the ocean as possible._

I decided that I _really don't want to explain this too many times_. "You...should probably join us too, Yuffie. We'll need your expertise to be sure people can't listen in easily."

"Aw, but… well, if you need my awesome skills, who am I to deprive ya!" _Fourteen-year-olds…_ "Let's get going… away from here...and that ship." A hint of green crept into her complexion again when she looked back at the vessel, and we agreed.

* * *

The inn turned out to be the most secure place we could reasonably access with our low funds. Yuffie deemed the walls of the downstairs room reasonably soundproof, as long as we didn't start yelling national secrets or anything, and added, "The only bugs are the skittering kind, and not a lot of 'em!"

_You freak out over weird-colored chopped-off alien arms, but are fine with bugs. Okay._ "Good job, Yuffie."

"Heh, you know me, I'm the best there is at what I do!"

"And that's very nice," Aerith reassured the ninja, "But let's go in and get a room before Tifa gags you again, alrighty?"

Yuffie puffs her cheeks out in childish annoyance, but acquiesces. "I wasn't 'going on and on' about myself, tho…!"

Aerith giggles as she leads us through the Inn's door, and answers, "I know you weren't_,_ it's just you're years too early for that sort of thing."

Leaving the thief confused, our resident half-Cetra gets us a room under the identity Tseng provided. The 'desk clerk' on duty was a tanned and muscular guy, about seventeen by the looks of it. He quickly jotted down her information in his log, and retrieved the key from – I presume – a lock-box under the counter. "Okay, Miss Waters and Company, you have the downstairs room – just head through the game room and through the door – and you're checked in until 9 am tomorrow. Here's your key, be careful with it please. Breakfast will be available at 7 am. Is there anything else I can do for you today?"

"Hmm… nope, just make sure we're not bothered before morning."

"Not a problem, we're quite used to that sort of thing."

"...Aerith, _phrasing!_" Tifa whispered in her ear, looking like she was trying to suppress some embarrassment.

"It's really none of our business, ma'am. As long as nothing's broken, you don't disturb our other guests, and 'no illegal activities are undertaken while on the premises of the Costa del Sol Inn (a Limited Liability Corporation)', we don't judge."

"Thanks, sir!" Aerith called, grinning and waving the key as a red-faced Tifa dragged her off to the room by an arm.

I just shook my head with a grin of my own, and tried not to _squee_ as I walked after them. I pulled out my phone and called Barret to "get his cute sailor-clad ass downstairs for promised explanations". I hung up as the denials started, and sent Nanaki a heads-up as well – he couldn't use a PHS easily, without thumbs, but he'd gotten good enough to flip it open and gently push buttons with a claw to view messages sent to him or answer an incoming call. _Need to see about a paws-free headset of some sort for him..._

Yuffie was perplexed when I held an arm out to stop her from opening the door and following Tifa and Aerith inside. I just shook my head as I was still on the phone with Nanaki, but after that quick distraction I told her, "Give them a minute – we've got to wait for the others anyway."

"Ooooh-kaay...so, what was that about 'promised explanations'? You gonna tell me how you knew my name? Why did Tifa look so annoyed whenever your name came up? And what's this about you getting hauled off by those Shin-Ra creeps only to come back?"

"Sshhh! I'll explain all that, but I'm only doing it _once_, so we're going to wait for the others."

"Hmph!"

It was a boring ten minutes before Nanaki came in (a normally-attired Barret coming from the upstairs bathroom vouching for him). Yuffie was fuming, and about four minutes in Tifa'd opened the door and said we could come in and sit there. The ninja eagerly took her up on the offer, but I declined in favor of waving our other inquiring minds to the right place quickly.

And in favor of getting a pitcher of iced water and some of those recyclable cups for everyone, because...yeah, it's hot.

* * *

"Alright, everyone comfortable?"

"Like a bug in a rug!" Yuffie answered, spread-eagled on the bed closest to the locked door.

"Jus' getton with it already. I want answers." Barret was polishing his gun-arm, _real subtle_.

"Great." I sipped my water nervously, and began explaining how I got here.

"You see, in the beginning, there was the truck, and the truck was in drive, and the truck was a drive-n into me as I was crossing the damn street..."

* * *

"...really, Tifa? This is an _incredibly bad idea_."

"Hey, you wanted me to rebuild him and tell him the truth about himself. Least you can do, is help do it. Besides, you heard him – they don't have anything for sale here to haul stuff in, it's a _tourist trap_."

"...I'll try, but..." I gave Cloud a sardonic smile, "...don't interrupt me while I'm explaining."

He scratches his head sheepishly. "…...Fair enough."

"Kidding, just giving you a hard time. Make 'em good, though."

* * *

"No, Cloud, it's not your fault Sephiroth's essentially immortal now. He would've figured out the Promised Land Lifestream thing not long after he realized the first AVALANCHE group's claims were right. Hell, one official version of the events has him jumping of his own free insane will. All you did was impale him a little too far to the right...and even then he probably would've _crawled_."

* * *

"...and then Cloud was a zombie..."

* * *

"…...a _pinball machine_ in this day and age? Those are still commonplace here? Uh, sorry, moving right along."

* * *

"Yeah, sorry, Barret. I know he was your friend...maybe you can convince him to find some help, when you seem him."

"…..." Barret just slams his fist on the bed next to him, making Tifa scoot away slightly.

* * *

"….so, basically, Aerith dies because I'm too weak to resist Sephiroth's manipulation?" Cloud looks broken, but at least he's not holding his head in agony.

Tifa's the one who answers him here, "No, Cloud! In _the story_, she dies because _Sephiroth_ takes another person from us!"

Aerith stands up and hugs him, in front of everybody; I see Tifa twitch, before relaxing, and I'm not sure I'm imagining her lips moving, 'Cloud needs this, I'm okay...Cloud needs this, I'm...huh, I'm...okay.' _I guess poly relationships aren't commonplace here either, __if she never thought seriously about __how she'd feel in one__ by twenty..._

"Cloud, I'm right here. I'm alive, and I plan on staying that way, alright? I know you wouldn't hurt me, Cloud. And we're going to find a way to stop him from hurting anyone else, alright? You, me, Tifa, everyone. Together."

Cloud hesitates, but eventually hugs her back. A moment later, they step apart, and Aerith wedges herself between Tifa and Barret and whispers something to the former that makes her tense up a bit, but nod and whisper, "Later."

"...you have a plan? Something I can't be made to fuck up?" the swordsman asked, rubbing the bridge of his nose with an arm crossed over his torso and supporting the other elbow.

I nod, and explain my plan...trying very hard _not_ to remember the last time I explained it. Turns out, healing magic does not restore amputated bones, and only speeds up cracked kneecaps' healing rate a little. My left hand's missing pinkie throbs dully, and next thing I know…

"_Beth! _Snap out of it! You're safe, nobody's hurting you… Oh _goddess_, your _hand..._"

"Here, hold on…_Breath of the Earth_." A different sort of warmth wraps around me, soothing the phantom pains and driving away the flashback. _Oh god I hope that doesn't happen often… _"Come back to us, Beth...listen to my voice, I'm here, Tifa's here, Cloud's here, Barret, Red, and Yuffie are all here…"

"...and you continued to _work_ with them after they did that?" Nanaki asked, baffled.

Once I can speak, I mutter, "Has to be me, someone else might get it wrong..er." _Repress, repress…_ I push myself up, feeling drained.

Barret speaks up next, saying, "...I'm goin', goin', GONE. Gotta take a leak"

The rest of the group agrees to take ten and think about things.

* * *

I've mostly recollected myself enough to explain the downsides of my plan, by the time the others return.

"Alright. The Planet has these bio-mechanical monsters it created last time Jenova was active, but never used thanks to the Cetra managing to seal her away and… they wake up, and go on a rampage, when Sephiroth summons _Meteor_. Not being able to find him, they go after areas with the highest rate of Mako drain, probably thinking it's Jenova, I don't know. Maybe they're after the Shin-Ra at that point." I sigh, staring into my cup like it holds the answer to life, the universe, and everything before dumping the mouthful down the hatch. "The chaos caused by their rampage, even if we...y'all...chase them down, when piled on top of the panic at _Meteor, _and the fact that it all started from their pursuit of power, changes Shinra entirely.

"Killing Heidegger and Scarlet, leaving a guilt-ridden Rufus Shinra and justified Reeve...sorry, I don't know his name, but you'll meet his friendly robots later, I'm sure… leaves them in charge of the World Regenesis Organization, funded by a completely different Shinra. I think. I don't remember that part of the sequel movie well. If we prevent _Meteor_ from being summoned at all, the depths of their sins doesn't become obvious to them."

Tifa scoffs, and rhetorically says, "Different how."

"No more warmongering, discontinuing the Mako reactors to switch back to fossil fuels – which are their own brand of _bad idea_, but at least don't permanently dissipate the lifeforce of the planet! – and, like I said, doing their best to clean up their messes. I don't know, beyond that – there's another game, called _Dirge of Cerberus_, that I never played, that gets into some things. ...and reminds me, there's somebody on vacation here who has caused nearly every single problem the world faces. I doubt the Turks will let him stay here, given w-what I-I-I t-t-t.."

"Stay with us, Beth..." Aerith soothed me.

"N-N-No, I got- gotta push through t-this..." I grit my teeth and think of kittens instead, to tamp down the fear.

"...again, how were you able to keep working with them after...what they did?" Nanaki reiterated.

"_BECAUSE I D-DON'T HAVE ANOTHER CHOICE!_" I yell at him, before choking up in tears. _Tears...odd, I could barely cry from frustration before, __if I tried..__._ I forced myself to lower my volume, and ground out the rest of the explanation. "I'm trying to head off as much of this shit as I can, and it's not fair to you all to carry the entire burden, nor is it strategically a good idea, okay? This way, their resources are aimed at stopping Sephiroth, with an intensity they didn't see the need for in the game, and _maybe_ everyone can have some sort of happy ending! ...except Heidegger, and Scarlet. And Hojo – if there's a problem, again, the answer is probably _blame Hojo_."

"No," Nanaki clarified, "I meant, if they were so suspicious and disbelieving that they would go to the extremes interrogating you… why did they let you go? Why would they believe you? And, why would they _let_ you work for them?"

"…oh." I blinked. "Well, it's basically because the plot requires it-"

"WITHOUT the post-modernistic fourth-wall-breaking bullshit, if you please. My brain hurts enough without it." _Oh Grandma, what big fangs you have!_

"_Eep. _Okay, what happened was..."

* * *

"So...it's been over two months since Zirconiade was destroyed. You dropped right off the radar. No calls, no messages – we thought Jade Weapon had gotten you! How have you been, Cissnei?"-

_...Cissnei? ...oh fuck, THAT'S who this body belonged to?! _"Uh, good? I got attacked by something, alright, but it was just some Kalm Hounds. Got a few new scars, but nothing bad."

"That's a relief." Tseng grabbed a headset and put it on with a well-practiced motion, as did Rude; I imitated them. "You must've vacationed in some interesting places. You'll have to tell us _all_ about it."

"Of course."

* * *

"They thought you were one of them?" Cloud asked, puzzled.

"Maybe at first, but I don't share many of Cissnei's unconscious tics. If they were fooled, it wasn't for long at all...and I'm an honest person to begin with. Besides, my plan required telling them what was going to happen."

"Your plan sucks, lady."

"Says the guy who went along with Aerith's plan to get in and rescue Tifa?"

"Hey, that was a tactically valid plan, and it worked _just fine_."

"I'm just saying, sometimes a plan doesn't have to be what the plotter would enjoy to be the best plan xe can think of."

* * *

I came clean about my actual identity during the debriefing – there's simply no way I could keep up the pretense and explain my knowledge, let alone convince anyone.

"...if you are not Cissnei, as you claim, then who and what are you?"

I gave my original name, and added, "But...I'm much happier as Beth Renault. Please, call me Beth. Involuntary Interdimensional Traveler, Video Gamer, and all-around nerd, at your service." I give a little half-bow, from my seat at the other side of a _lovely_ stained-wood desk in his office

"…...I see." Tseng made a few notes on the paper in front of him. "And why are you here?"

"Because somebody hit me like a truck, with a truck. And later because someone generously offered me a helicopter ride – always wanted to fly in one, despite the heights thing – in exchange for leaving my friends alone."

A checkbox is filled. "I meant, on Gaia."

"Oh, sorry, usually that question means the non-philosophical answer."

"It still does."

"Right. Well, I'm not really sure. There was a dream, or something, where a lady in white told me, "_You must defeat the deluded one. Stop the spawn of Chaos from __devastating__ more of my worlds_". I have no idea who she was. Sephiroth's this story's primary antagonist, and he was convinced he and that alien thing, Jenova, were Cetra, and that him destroying his homeworld was a good thing. Even though the Cetra were Planet Protectors. That's pretty deluded, I suppose...but he gets taken out at the end of the story. He comes back, I hear, but Cloud and Friends take him out again, and then again when a Disney character (of all things) revives him – that's not canon, though. I don't know why I'd be needed?"

Tseng pauses, dropping the pencil. His voice is iron as he warns me, "I need you to be serious, Miss Renault. No games, no jokes, no beating around the bush."

"I am very serious, Tseng. I don't have all the answers, I don't even know what the Zirconafawhatchamacallit was Rude mentioned. I only know what was shown in fictional materials in the world I came from, and not even all of that. You want proof? I told you, check Shinra Mansion in Nibelheim, wake up Vincent Valentine if you feel like it – and by the way, Cloud and Tifa are going to be _pissed the fuck off_ when they discover that the Shin-Ra, who took everything from them, rebuilt their town and filled it full of actors. Just giving fair warning."

"Noted." He checked another box and made some notes. "Tell me about AVALANCHE."

"You've met them all. Dropping the Sector 7 plate didn't kill a single one, but their efforts to prevent the mass murder did end up with three shot dead by the assigned infantry. Biggs, Jessie, and Wedge died trying to save countless lives."

"They're also responsible for the deaths of countless people, by destroying Mako reactors."

"Yes, I know. I doubt the smoke and inhalation illnesses help anyone either. They don't take what they did lightly, Tseng. They found the plans in an old hideout, and they followed them to the letter."

"Why?"

I shrugged one shoulder. "From what they told me, it seemed like there wasn't anything else they could do. What were they supposed to do, send sternly-worded letters to the complaints department? Place editorials in a new agency owned by Shinra Electric Corporation, criticizing Shinra Electric Corporation? It was the only way to get attention on the problem of how the Mako reactors not only pollute everything around them, but literally drain the lifeforce everything in the area depends on to be born and live."

"An irrelevant and unfounded belief."

"Haven't you noticed how nothing grows in Midgar, home of like eight Mako reactors, except for one sacred place and a garden tended by the last of the Cetra? Or, how about everywhere else on the planet where a reactor has been running for years, the land is dying or dead around it? I'd say there's enough evidence to at least perform a rigorous, double-blind experiment or five. Assuming the President, former or current, would give a shit about something he's so insulated from enough to authorize it, or Heidegger would tone down his arrogance enough to back it, or Scarlet would refrain from "Kya ha ha" laughing it off."

"Not my department."

"No, maybe it isn't. But… there was a massive war, on Earth. A man there said, 'The only thing evil needs to triumph, is for good men to do nothing.' Or something like that."

"…...we have a similar saying here."

"Well, then. I'll leave that topic there. Shall I explain the issue of Cloud Strife, next? It's the second-most critical problem in this whole mess."

"…...very well. You said he was experimented on by Dr. Hojo, correct?"

"Yes, sir, alongside SOLDIER 1st class Zack Fair. The latter was mostly unaffected, aside from being weakened enough to have trouble against… well, the army, at first. I'm sorry. With his last breaths, he told Cloud to 'live for the both of them', to 'never forget', and passed down the sword given him by Angeal. Cloud made his way to Midgar's slums, Tifa Lockhart found him, recognized him from their childhood, saw his odd behavior from the near erasure of his ego, and brought him into AVALANCHE."

"So, she took advantage of his weakened state, and Strife did not have the ability to understand his situation."

"What? No! Tifa isn't like that – she saw the man who, years earlier, had promised would always come save her in a pinch, and who she'd not (to her knowledge) seen since, acting like he needed help. She wanted to keep him safe! He, in turn, once he'd apparently recovered, I guess he wanted to help her."

"Then he is responsible for his actions, and is partly to blame for the deaths of everyone killed in the Sector 1 reactor attack."

"...unfortunately, sir," I admitted.

* * *

"Well, great, thanks for that Beth," Cloud groused, sliding down the wall he'd been standing against until his butt hit the floor.

* * *

"I see. What else can you tell me about him?"

"Sephiroth can manipulate him like a puppet, as things stand now, much like the other Sephiroth Copies, but it requires being present."

"You said he's at North Crater."

"Yes."

"Then Cloud is safe, as long as he doesn't go there?"

_Uh, no, bub. _"Sephiroth also has that copy he killed the President with. He can control the other, numbered copies through it, though in the story he only ever does it to Cloud, that I can recall."

He changes subjects suddenly. "Who else was involved in the reactor attacks?"

* * *

"And you *$#&!ing told him?!"

"Dude, do you not remember how many eyes saw you at that second reactor? Shin-Ra damn well knew exactly who you all were and probably where you came from. I emphasized how Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie died heroes – not to the cause, but to everyone living in Sector 7."

* * *

Tseng made a note here, and underlined it twice. His eyes narrowed at me, with that _look_ from before. "Tell me about the Temple of the Ancients," he ordered.

_Uh-oh._ "The copies make their way there, after one acquires a Keystone from the owner of Gold Saucer needed to enter. Sephiroth needs a power hidden there, one so powerful that, well, it's best that nobody _ever_ gets their hands on it. It summons a meteor large enough that if it hit, it'd make North Crater look like a sandbox. The wound would be huge enough that the Lifestream would have to direct its entirety to healing, else the planet itself would die...and Sephiroth's plan is to be there at that wound, and absorb it, become _a god_, killing everything left on the planet, and, well. Supposedly he wants to rule it, but it would be a dead world. I guess he'd go on to other worlds and do the same thing, like Jenova did."

"You don't seem entirely certain."

"I didn't play the game all the way to the end, just read about it. Factory work occupied nearly all my time for a while. Sorry, what I've said I'm certain about is definite."

"…...all of this seems bizarre, to tell you the truth. Much of what you've referred of the past and present, Cissnei was cleared to know about or was personally involved with. Much of the remainder, you could've learned from the members of AVALANCHE. Knowing the planned location of Rufus Shinra's inauguration could easily be a guess, from public knowledge. Tell me something Cissnei did not know, would not have learned when she went to ground, which I can quickly confirm."

This was something which had been keeping me awake at night, and with the new knowledge regarding who was driving this body before I showed up… I had nothing. "Give me a minute?" He nodded and sat back in his leather chair.

* * *

"Really? All that foreknowledge, and you couldn't come up with anything?" Yuffie snarked.

"Really? All those ninja skills, and you discovered your targets were more powerful than you expected?" I shot back.

* * *

"Well, like I said before, Hojo's Sephiroth's father, and Lucrecia his mother. They were performing an experiment with Jenova cells to try to recreate the nearly-lost Cetra race, believing Jenova to _be_ a Cetra. You could confiscate his records."

"Key word: _quickly_. I would need authorization, then a team to comb through terabytes of information."

"Uh...put an agent in at the Gold Saucer, watching for a man in a black cape and a number on his hand to show up, asking about Black Materia?" I have a sudden brainwave: "Heck, ask Reeve to send in his Cait Sith robot."

"...that may be doable, but it will not pay off quickly."

"I'm trying, I'm trying!" I don't quite miss the way he jerks at that, and I belatedly realize that's Zack's quote to Tseng on Crisis Core's horrible Digital Mind Wave mechanic. "Geez…" I think hard, and after a couple minutes I realize… there's only a few possible things I can say here. "Sephiroth will show up in the engine room of the ship AVALANCHE stows away on, with Rufus Shinra onboard, after the parade. That's, what, few days from now?

"His original body is nearly healed, it's at the bottom-most part of the caves under North Crater – but if he senses anyone, he may wake up and kill them. That's where the final boss battle takes place, if that gives you any idea of his power there.

"And, um… Hojo went on vacation to Costa del Sol. I've not left this continent since I arrived, I've not been to Midgar, and nobody in AVALANCHE has returned since escaping, so there's no way I'd know. I can't think of anything else."

"…...we will confirm these. Rude."

Rude, apparently, has been hiding behind a floor-length curtain this entire time – oldest trick in the book, and I didn't notice, so...yeah, I was surprised. "Take… Miss Renault… to our 'guest quarters'. Give her some….help, remembering."

_Wait a- OH NO NO NOOO _"Please don't mean what I think you mean!" I panic, jumping out of my chair. Rude knocks me to the floor and handcuffs me again – properly, this time – while I'm stunned by the turn of events and the carpet burn. And the knock to the head. "N-no, please, I told you everything that matters! I… oh, why do I even bother, this is gonna suck..."

* * *

"…...I'm sorry, but I can't get into what happened when I came to, again." I kick my feet in the air, slowly, watching as they rise and fall.

"That's fine… I think we understand." Tifa looked grim; she'd threatened a mob boss (of perverted, pathetic sorts) before, but she didn't care to hear it more than I cared to recall it.

"In the end, they were able to confirm things much more rapidly than I thought they would, with their various sources. Too late for my tastes, but… it's amazing, what your world's magic can heal. Again, and again. And again." My smile clearly doesn't reassure anyone.

"They released me onto the _S.S. Anne_ to wait for you, with Elena making sure I didn't go anywhere. Even gave me back my stuff, when Tseng called and said y'all's whole thing went down with Priscilla roughly the way I said. Heh, my stuff… and 'my' stuff. Cissnei left her shuriken behind, said it was 'way too obviously a weapon of war' and 'reminded her of work'. I'm not sure they were convinced I'm not her, at some level – they probably hoped it was some kind of amnesia, and the extra prompt would bring back memories."

"...did it?" Cloud asked, hopefully.

_Poor guy probably wants help to regain his memories properly… _I shrugged. "Muscle memories, that sort of thing, but not anything that tells me how to put the moves together."

"….oh."

"Hey, now. I don't think there's anything left of Cissnei, upstairs. No voices in my head talking about things that happened, no cryptic warnings of something not being just a reactor, or whatever." I smile fondly at him. "Don't worry, you've got better than some prop. You've got Tifa to tell you what she remembers, you've Aerith to tell you what parts of you remind her more of Zack, you've got your AVALANCHE friends to stop you from doing anything stupid – and a certain one of them has you and the others to stop her from _running off by herself_ thinking she can avoid or solo the Big Bad."

A certain one of the others gives a huff at that. "I'm not going to do that! Not unless we've failed, _Meteor_'s falling, AND everyone's dead or scattered, alright? Not much point in a sacrifice to summon Holy if Sephiroth can just block it."

"…...I'm glad to hear that, Aerith." Tifa puts her arms around the older girl's waist, and hugs her, and Aerith just tosses an arm around Tifa's shoulder in response, tossing a wink at Cloud, and hugs back until Tifa lets go.

_Squuuueeeeeeeee_ – _NO, stop that, Beth!_

"Same here," Cloud said from his spot on the floor, a smile reappearing on his face.

_Again. Squee._

"…...hey, Beth...did you, by any chance, tell those *$%) Shin-Ra how to summon _Meteor_?"

"…...I can't remember."

* * *

**Author's Note**

Well, that can't be good, can it?

Retroflexion: The state of being bent back, especially the bending back of an organ upon itself.


	9. Omake 1: Blatant Pandering

#import COPYRIGHT_OWNERSHIP_DENIAL

TRIGGER_WARNING="Cruel and unusual punishment, vigilante 'justice'"

If you don't enjoy darkfic, _**you are urged to skip this 'chapter'. I TAKE NO RESPONSIBILTY FOR NIGHTMARES or PSYCHOTIC FREAKS USING MY FICTIONAL WORK AS INSPIRATION. (No offense intended).**_

I really hope you have a firm hold on the boundaries between what's appropriate for reality, and fantasy. -_-'

This is **not canon**. Thank you.

* * *

**Omake 1: Blatant Pandering**

"Hey. Beth. You sure you're okay to be going out?" Aerith asked me.

"I'm not going to sit around here and feel sorry for myself. No, I can do that later. Right now, I have a chance to hammer another nail in the coffin of the trauma conga line that is y'all's story, assuming the T-Turks haven't moved him."

"...moved whom?"

"You'll see. It'll be disturbing, but it'll save us a great deal of trouble in the future. Come on, let's go get swimsuits and…" I stop and lean out the door to where Cloud and Yuffie are playing pool, with Barret and Nanaki watching. "Hey, Nanaki, feel like possibly getting some revenge for that eye of yours?"

"…...tell me more."

"Well, you see..." I explained what I intend to do.

"…...this is a horrifying idea, Beth, I know the Turks hurt you but this is not like you at all!"

"Aerith, the guy murdered your father to get his job and kidnap both you and your mother. He's directly and indirectly the reason you're an orphan, he's ruined countless lives, and _will_ ruin more."

* * *

"Hello, Professor Hojo. Lovely to see you."

"...who are you? I'm busy, can't you see I'm on vacation?" the man with the massive cranium and utterly-lacking morals asked.

"Oh, nobody in particular. I was wondering, have you ever done work in, eh, mind uploading?"

The...no, I won't call him a scientist. Scientists have _rules, _they follow _methods_ and pay careful attention to _not crossing ethical boundaries lest they do something terrible and/or lose funding_. The asshole, let's call him that, gave me a look over the frames of his sunglasses. "What do you know of it?"

"Well, there's the philosophical argument of whether the resulting computer program can ever be considered equivalent to the scanned brain...and the more practical problems of storage space, computational requirements to run at real-time speeds, and scanning the brain in sufficient detail to replicate the effects of the inter-neuron links and thus extract memories without setting it on fire. ...I read a lot of sci-fi, tee hee."

"...the hell are you talking about? All you have to do to read off the memories is analyze the wavelengths of the Mako energy for the appropriate modulations, it's really surprisingly simple. Yes, yes, the storage is an issue, but with another of my projects, soon to be activated - oh yes, yes! Redundancy and self-perpetuation both! And once you've got the memories, you don't need the other parts of the brain scanned – hearing? Sight? Speech synthesis?! Higher-order prediction and abstract thinking?! Bah! Every functional brain is functionally similar enough that, once you construct a functioning software replacement from first principles, you just plug in the neural net of memories. Once you've got all that, you're ninety-five percent of the way there.

"As for that Ship of Theseus problem – pffft! Pure drivel, I say! The brain evolved as-"

"Protein-based circuitry… and you simply replaced each critical part, one at a time. Amazing…!" I'm not even mad – that's not remotely easy, even as a 'shortcut'. If it was, well… Earth would be further along in its AI research than it is. And for a single science team, no matter how well-funded, to pull it off in one scientist's career's time? The psychopath really is a genius, of sorts.

"Yes, yes, it's been a real challenge the past few decades, even for me, babe. But soon, everything will be in place, and one quick scan, a little of this, and a little of that, and I'll be _immortal!_ The dream of millenia, come true! The pinnacle of human technology! I'll be able to do experiments and push the boundaries of science until the universe itself grows cold and dark, I do expect, and then I- kack! Gaahh….." He's interrupted by me revealing Cissnei's fuma shuriken from behind my back, and stabbing one of the points into his larynx so he can't speak further.

"-don't give a shit. Don't talk with your mouth full, and _don't_ call me babe. And...labcoat, on the beach? I get not wanting to burn, but that's what sunscreen is for…? I mean, _literally _shaking my head here."

"Anyway, I'd like you to meet Aerith, again… Aerith, the man who killed your father, days after your birth. And someone who has missed your loving care _oh so much…_."

"...greetings, one who is more of a beast than I. Beth, we should not tarry, the _Sleepel_ spell will not hold for forever."

"Oh? Good point. Hey now, hold still, Professor, or this thing'll dig a lot deeper. How far down is your spinal cord, eh?" The genius ape stopped trying to push me off for the moment.

"Now, what other crimes have you committed… manipulating a brilliant young woman named Lucrecia to fall in love with you, solely so you can use her as a breeding tube for your research into an eldritch abomination's half-dead body, creating Project S… and Sephiroth. You just assumed the Calamity who killed so many Cetra… was a Cetra, on the word of Aerith's father – Argument from Authority, much? Oh, you're angry, eh? What a… twist!" I spin the improbable weapon, letting some of the weight drill down.

"Beth...I'm _really not comfortable_ with this. Just...finish him off."

"I concur."

"Aw, but I haven't even gotten to the _good parts_ yet. Like how he shot someone for daring to criticize his methods, then experimented on him, and left his body in a coffin. Lucrecia saved his life, thankfully, but that's an attempted murder and nonconsensual experimentation on a human host right there.

"He repeatedly performed experiments with the goal of killing Zack Fair." I pulled the weapon from his destroyed voicebox. "Not even for science – there was no control group, no intention of published peer review. Only thing I can say for him, is that Zack agreed to the challenges." I drop the weapon into his block-and-tackle.

I looked at Aerith. "You going to forgive him for that?"

"No! But this doesn't make him less dead!"

"Neither did Lil' Hojo's not even offering his greater expertise, or some critical information, to Genesis Rhapsodos and Doctor Hollander, to help stop his body's slow degradation. To save his _life_, to remove the reason the man had for fighting his rebellion against Shinra, to cure the suffering. Or even to give critically-wrong information that would lead to the treatment putting him out of his misery. Something!

"But the cherry on the bloody sundae? The strawberry topping on the _cheesus-christ-_cake of this man's life so far, and not even what he plans to try? He _purposefuly left clues to Sephiroth's creation_ in Nibelheim, then _had him sent there to find them." _I pluck the weapon out of the waste of amino acid's ruined reproductive organs, and shake off the clinging viscera.

"And you remember what he did to Zack and Cloud, for four or five years, don't you, Aerith?"

The half-Cetra was very tight-lipped as she pointedly looked away from us both. "You're a monster, Beth."

"Me? Oh, yeah, probably. But hey, I'm supposed to "_stop the spawn of Chaos_", right? This guy infused Vincent Valentine with this world's incarnation of Chaos, thus spawning it, in a sense...and literally spawned Sephiroth, who's creating chaos and plans to kill the planet to become a _god_, so...I'm just doing my job here." I grasp the shuriken in both hands, and hold it above the bleeding-out villain.

"Also, you kept my friend here hostage as a research specimen for over a year, and branded a number into his flank. No? What, it was an intern? Too bad, it was your orders. Your sentence: death, to be-" my arms give out and drive the weapon through the ribcage and directly through his heart. "...carried out so immediately I can't even finish the sentence, looks like. Sorry about that."

It takes climbing on top of the dying Josef Mengel-wannabe and using my legs to lift the giant-ass shuriken out of the bone cage to get it loose, but I get it done. He manages to flip us off before he passes out.

I stick it in the stand by the lawnchair a few times to clean off the remaining blood, and watch as the _real_ villain of Final Fantasy VII rapidly succumbed to oxygen deprivation of the brain.

I'm literally shaking my head as I walk away.

As far as first times killing someone goes… you know, I think I'll be able to deal with this one.

* * *

"...I'm never wearing this swimsuit again," Aerith complained.

"Sorry for the memories. ...Nanaki, when you're done pissing on him, you want to do the Flamethrower honors?"

"Yeah, sure. Wait, you hear that?"

"Hear what?" I ask, but then…

"Ssssseeee_phhhhiiooRRROOOOTH'S FATHER! CLIMHAZZARD!_"

"Oh, hello Cloud, nice of you to join us."

He does his usual victory blade-spin before 'sheathing' it, and turns around look at me. "You could've invited me, you know," he admonished me with one of his "what the hell" shrugs.

"Yeah, well...I didn't think he'd live long enough to get a good, long omake out."

"Eh, fair enough. Bye!"

* * *

**Author's Note**

I did warn you.

It's hardly even as dark as darkfic can get, and it's got an unhealthy amount of crack sprinkled on for flavor, but it just wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it all out.

Frankly, I say Hojo deserves every bit of it...and more, given the shit he pulls in _Dirge of Cerberus_ from beyond the grave. But, hey, that game's not canon to my story, and neither is this omake.

Back to irregularly-unscheduled programming next time.


	10. Dyne No Mo'

#import COPYRIGHT_OWNERSHIP_DENIAL

* * *

**Chapter 9: Dyne No Mo'**

The others went to the beach to relax and ponder everything. I decided to skip the Beach Episode – I was tired and didn't want to think about what I might do if I saw Hojo. Besides, they were just in regular clothes, so what's the point?

Instead, I tried to take a nap… and failed. It was too damn hot.

I ended up passing the time examining the fragments of the Dark Elf's bangle. They had indentations from Nanaki's Limit Break-enhanced teeth, of course, but more interesting to me were the unusual letters on the 'inside', carved neatly and thankfully undamaged.

I couldn't read them, but I still copy them. A moment of thought had me using one of the cheap pencils next to the phone, and the equally-cheap advertisement notepad's pages, to take rubbings.

_Okay, hypothesis: These glyphs are magical in nature, either singularly or together, and are responsible for the wrist-thingy's previous ability to stay fixed in place around one spot on the Dark Elf's wrist._

_Experiment 1: Duplicate the glyphs to another object, singularly._

It took a few times of practicing drawing the individual letters on paper before I felt I had it right, but once I could no longer tell a difference between the originals and my attempts… there was no reaction.

_Experiment 2: Duplicate the glyphs to another object, together in whole._

Also no reaction.

_Experiment 3: Take this shit outside before some accident occurs, you numbskull._

Papers fluttered and nearly got blown away, but seem to behave the same as blank ones.

_Experiment 4: After purchasing an overpriced beverage and finding a sheltered space out of most of the wind, attempt channeling MP through the individual-glyph paper._

* * *

Needless to say, this went on for some time. At one point, I accidentally set a paper on fire with the channeling… and this did not occur with blank paper or paper with a different set of glyphs, with the apparently-same amount channeled.

Well, penicillin was an accidental discovery, too, so… I made a note to follow up on that.

* * *

When the others returned, they had made several decisions. One, that Hojo was "one slimy, conniving son of a goat-herder" – Barret's words – good at convincing empty-headed women into hanging around him. Two, that they didn't trust the Turks to do the job of collecting the Keystone, without then going to the Temple and trying to secure the Black Materia themselves. And three, even if they did, Barret wanted to stop his old friend from making a terrible mistake. As such, they would – in _my_ words – follow the Stations of Canon, at least as far as the Gold Saucer.

More importantly, our intrepid heroes decided to drag me along again.

"Look, Aerith insists on us dragging you along with us. I'm not convinced we should, but since Cloud's too busy thinking with the wrong *!%-&ing head, and Tifa doesn't want to go against him… I got outvoted. It's like I'm not even the leader of AVALANCHE!"

"...this isn't a terrorist group anymore, Barret."

"Stay out of this, Cloud! And we're _freedom fighters,_ damnit!"

"Not so loud!" Tifa complained, waving at the inn room around us.

"Well, fine, whatever. You take the job, then, what's even the point..."

The side-argument fizzles out, so I bowed respectfully, like a fancy butler or something. "Thank you for your generosity, all of you." I then bowed deeply to the former flower-seller. "And thank you, for trusting me." _Or, at least, keep friends close, enemies closer..._

She walked up and flicked me on the nose. No, seriously, it stung a bit. "Now, none of that, silly. I'm not leaving you lost and alone, here, after what you've done for us. And the actual truth is that Tifa agrees – she grumbled a bit, but says she understands what you were trying to do now." She smiles, and whispers a bit of quick advice with a wink: "And ladies _curtsy,_ by the way."

I just smile and nod, relieved… and a little terrified, given what we'll face. "Um...with that decided...can I get those materia back, by any chance?"

* * *

Two days later, I had a Christmas gift to myself: paper talismans capable of unleashing a weak _Fira_ on any enemy I stuck them to. They still had to have MP channeled through them, unfortunately, and right on the spot – otherwise, an intelligent enemy could channel their own through it and use it against me.

* * *

**24 December 0007**

"[censored] Ow _Cure_ ow _Cure... _ahhhhh...better… -sigh- Well, back to the drawing board. Thanks, Yuffie, you make a great assistant… and good at keeping my head from getting too big."

"Not a problem!"

"...any chance you can help me figure that problem out?" I asked, brushing off the singed hair from the arm I'd automatically blocked the flames with.

"Oooof, sorry, but it's a ninja secret. I… sorta shouldn't be helping you even this much."

"...this isn't something that, if I figure it out, you have to kill me due to Wutai national secrets or anything, right?"

"Hmm….hard to say!" _Oh, that shit-eating grin!… _"Good luck!" She vanished in a puff of smoke, leaving me annoyed, coughing, and double-checking my pockets.

* * *

**Present Day**

I discovered that the glyph worked regardless of the surface it was drawn on, and its affected area was dependent on the size. I could conceivably draw a line of small runes on a metal door, and – given sufficient time – burn my way through it. Assuming, of course, the heat didn't dissipate before the metal could be affected.

Going bigger was possible too, but required a straight-edge and steady hands, required an increasing amount of MP and, worst of all, seemed to begin dispersing the effect's intensity.

Seems pointless, given how easily one could buy a Fire materia, right? Not quite. The most important point of this: _I could not be truly disarmed_, so long as I had _something_ to draw the glyph with and on.

_Never again_.

I'm just glad the inscription wasn't simply something sentimental. "_To my beloved Chloe, __for __who__m__ I'd sacrifice a thousand hometowns to a thousand storms; __but please, stop dying already!_", or something similar.

If I'm right, at least some of the other symbols would be for ice and lightning… and _something_ for how the heck the dang thing floated – my attempt to make paper bracelets which would hover around anything produced no effect whatsoever. It needed further testing.

* * *

The first field test came on our way to Corel.

Grangalans are the oddest thing I have _ever_ laid my eyes on – giant egg-shaped creatures, which float in mid-air and which carry their children inside themselves… and spit jagged discs at anything they see as a predator.

They also spit their children at you.

And their children spit their runt siblings at you, looking as if they'd been partially-digested alive...but are still more than happy and able to attack you.

They burn fine, for all their creepiness. Only one failure, of the five I tried, and that's more because the adhesive didn't stick and the tag fell off.

I didn't get a chance to try them on the Bloatfish near the Corel Reactor, as Aerith turned their Vacuum attacks against them.

"Geez, Aerith, I didn't realize you kept micro-rockets up your ass."

She just winked at me, and responded, "Matra Magic – never leave the Midgar Plains without it!"

* * *

"No. Not just no, but _hell no._ If I'd remembered we'd have to follow rickety railroad tracks built like a half-assed roller coaster, walking a hundred feet in the air, I would've taken my chances swimming the river shallows and crossing the desert!"

"Well, fine, have a nice hike. All the way back, by yourself...avoiding the attempts by the Bloatfish to turn you into a tenderized snack."

"...screw you, Cloud."

Tifa didn't look all that thrilled either, "Is there any other way, Barret?"

Our favorite gunarmed and dangerous bear (currently not in a marshmallow) of a man has been very quiet as we approach Corel, and even now he just grunts in the negative.

"These tracks have had years of abandonment to rust and rot," Nanaki observed oh so helpfully. "We should tread carefully."

"…...hey, Cloud?"

"Yes, Tifa?"

"…...this might not be a great place...to be carrying two swords' weight."

"I can't just leave Zack's sword behind, Tifa, you know this."

_Technically, it's Angeal's sword. Hmm, I have an idea… _"Cloud…"

"No! No, I c-can't do that!"

"I'm not asking you to. I'm asking that you hand me your other blade. Or hand it to Yuffie. Aside from Nanaki, we're the lightest ones here – we don't need to wield it, so we should be able to carry it well enough. It'll give me something to focus on besides..." I trail off with a whimper. _So strong, much badass, very wow._

"...I can do that," he decides, and hands it over.

Sadly, a consequence of skipping the Junon Parade segment is that Cloud never had a chance to get the Force Stealer from Rufus, which looked lighter and somehow doubled materia growth rate. As such, I now had a sharp-edged slab of carbon steel in my gloved hands; less heavy as I'd thought, but my arms still were burning only a few minutes into the _oh dog oh dog why why couldn't I have remembered **this** part and found another way_ mantra.

Cloud followed up behind us… and fell through twice. Tifa and Aerith had a go at him after the second time, each in their own ways, for making them worry. I was too busy trying not to pass out.

Needless to say, I took the low set of tracks and waited for Cloud to flip the bridge's switch.

Nobody bothered to climb up the sloping concrete wall to the Cokatolis nest, so no little flightless chicks were orphaned or doomed to starve to death for us to have extra Phoenix Downs. I didn't remember they were even up there until later, but… honestly? It wouldn't have been worth the effort anyway.

I did pose the moral dilemma as a philosophical question. Yuffie, unsurprisingly, voted that she'd take the Phoenix Downs. Tifa and Aerith voted Leave, Cloud said it depended on if he had enough on hand to use if one of us was hurt, Nanaki voted to eat the chicks as a mercy option. Barret… abstained, by ignoring the discussion entirely.

* * *

I was much better off once we were on the part of the tracks past that – closer to the ground and all, plus running low on adrenaline. I handed the sword back to Cloud, explaining, "I don't think there are any more parts where we can fall through." _Wait, tempting Fate – _"Still, watch your step, I didn't exactly remember the rest of this!"

"…..uh-huh." He put it away, and we continued on.

* * *

Bombs explode.

So do their arms, if you try Stealing them. _Thanks for trying, Yuffie._

Bah, I have a Fire-type attack method already.

* * *

The arrival in the shantytown of North Corel went roughly like it did in the game.

When the three men walked up to Barret, I let them go ahead and punch him – _hey, if he wants to play miserable and let them take out their frustrations on him, fine_. They may or may not have had a summoned Chocobo knock them off their feet and lightly stomp them into the ground, and the words, "That man has dedicated his life to making up for his mistake, and sacrificed his future to get revenge on the Shin-Ra – you know, _the evil corporation _who are _actually responsible_ for destroying Corel? You ungrateful little shitstains," may or may not have passed my lips.

Who knows? I'm sure some version did – clearly there is a multiverse of possibilities.

All of them involved Cloud trading in his heavy damn sword.

* * *

The ride up to Gold Saucer involved more _heights_, but at least it was in a stable vehicle. I kept my eyes shut and meditated, trying to tune out everything. The glow of the spotlights shining in as we passed, and the cheerful, jumpy music made this difficult, but I was calmer by the end...and, if nothing else, it gave my eyes a rest.

I've forgotten a lot of little details, it seems. Like how Aerith would try to get Barret to cheer up. Or Reeve's last name. But not, apparently, where we find his cute little cat avatar. I had a brainwave, and sent Yuffie around to reach the station via a different route than we took. Barret split off with Nanaki to the Battle Arena, hoping to stop Dyne before he'd murderate the guests.

"Hey hey! What'cha looking so down for?" The executive-controlled cat called to us from the back of a big...and entirely un-Moogle-like robot. "How 'bout it? Want me to read your fortune!? A bright future! A happy future! Oh, but don't hold it against me if it's not a great prediction!"

"As long as it's not of somebody dying..." I mutter.

"Oh, so sorry! I'm a fortune telling machine. The name's..."

Tifa interrupted, arms-crossed. "Reeve."

"W-What? Naw, I'm Cait Sith! Never heard of that other guy."

"Come off it," I groan – I wasn't going to reveal that we knew his identity until later, but since Tifa spilled the beans, "come on and join us, you're basically the only decent person in Shinra, Inc. who hasn't either quit or is already at risk of being terminated, and you tried to stop the Sector 7 massacre."

Aerith picked up here, a grin on her face, "We already talked it over, we'd love to have you spy on us."

"...what."

Yuffie piped up from where she'd snuck behind him...it..._oh hell, I'll just refer to it as if it were male like its controller._ "Got it!"

Cait jumped a hundred and eighty degrees, gloved paws grasping at the collar around his neck, only to find it not there. "My materia! Thief!"

"She's a _treasure hunter_, Reeve, get it right." _I can't help it. _"And really, _Manipulate_ materia? That's a bit on the nose, don't you think? What would a '_fortune-telling machine' _need any materia for, anyway? An internal energy supply, sure, I'll buy that. Even a low-level Lightning materia, _maybe_, but again _internal._"

"What are you talking about? Give me back my materia, or I'll shout for help!" The catbot pulled out a megaphone, and waves it threateningly at us, looking panicky – _not good. Loud noise is painful._

"Relax, we're just messing around. Yuffie… give it back, nicely please."

"Awww, come one, this is a great materia!"

"Yeah, I know – especially for getting those Enemy Skills, like White Wind or Big Guard – but Reeve's not appreciating the prank."

"...yeah, okay." She addressed the robot, "Uh, can you put on yourself, or..."

"Oh OBVIOUSLY I can put it on, it's designed for it." The flustered cat swiped it out of her hand and wrapped it around its neck, and fiddled a bit with the catch. "Now, how the hell do you know me?!"

_Wait, _"What, the Turks didn't tell you we'd be expecting you?"

"…...Yeah, they did, I just...didn't think you'd be stupid enough to out me in public, is all. They wouldn't say how you knew about me either." He sighed, ignoring Tifa's flinch and glare, and asked, "I guess I'll have to build another line of infiltrators… So, you wanted me to join you. Alright, let's do this."

"Great!" _Hopefully he can teach me a bit about magitek, given how the robopuppets are powered! "..._can you really predict the future?"

"...look, ma'am, you and Shortskirt McJugs ruined my whole entry spiel, I'm really not feeling it."

Tifa shook her head in annoyance. "It's _not_ that short!...pig..." _Uh, no, he's a cat, silly! "...__Aerith!_"

"Hahaha, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Yes, he's a pig, and you know I like ya, bu-_bwahahaha...!"_

"Sorry, Mr. Reeve..." _No I'm not_. ..._okay, a little. _"Can you at least tell us if a man in a black cape has been here? Likely with silver hair, asking about a Black Materia? Or if the Keystone's still here?"

"I can, yes. Let's walk and talk, shall we?"

The question's rhetorical, it seems, as he bounces towards the transport tube marked "Battle".

* * *

TRIGGER_WARNING="Non-gratuitously mentioned dismemberment, canon-esque suicide"

**Meanwhile…**

_Well, I'll be damned… _"...Dyne! It's you!"

"…...Now that's a voice I haven't heard in years. A voice I'll never forget. What a surprise, to see you now. Right, Eleanor? ...yeah, fate."

"El-? It's been four years!" _She's dead, just like __my __Myr__na! _I shake my head and move on. "I always hoped I'd be able to see you again, someday. I knew you were alive somewhere, we had the same operation. _…_I gotta 'pologize for what I've done, Dyne."

"Do you? Of course… you want absolution. There is no absolution for what you've done, Barret… Eleanor…is begging me…not to hate your rotten guts. That's why I didn't hunt you down..."

_That hurts, but then the truth always does. _"You're not tellin' me anything I haven't told myself, Dyne. The only things that have kept me going, are raising Marlene...and getting revenge on the Shin-Ra."

A broken, insane smile forms on my long-lost friend's face, and my heart sinks. "Marlene...is _dead_...just like my Eleanor...and just like everyone else in my way will be! I will-"

"-_come with us and get OUR_ _revenge TOGETHER_, Dyne! The Shin-Ra slaughtered us to protect their 'industrial secrets'! Secrets that are _killing the Planet itself!_" _PLEASE, come to your senses! Don't make me do this, man! _"Marlene is still alive, I've raised her as my own child since it happened! She's safe, in Midgar!

Dyne just...looked at me, and laughed. Laughed and laughed, like I'd told the funniest joke he'd ever heard. "And just _what_ do you think you're going to do? Sit and wait for the _next_ great thing to come and displace the empire that Shinra, Inc. is building itself into? Hell, _if_ you're telling me the truth, _you left her right under their nose!_"

"...I...formed a group of like-minded people. We destroyed two of the Mako reactors in Midgar… the Shin-Ra retaliated by dropping part of the upper plate on Sector 7, just to kill us. We were a _threat_ to them, Dyne." I kept going, seeing the insane look in his eyes being replaced with a calculating one. "And now, we're chasing after one of the Shin-Ra's most devastating creations, who _singlehandedly destroyed _another entire town and plans on killing the planet itself! _Everyones' _Eleanors, _every sweet baby girl Marlene,_ and _every. Last. Hope._ We'll kill him. Then we'll kill the people who made him, and the ^%$*)ers who burned our village, and everyone in our way. And...if at the end, you still have to kill me to have peace," I sag...then just shrug, "…...I won't blame you. Hell, I'll paint a fluorscent target on my head.

"I know I was stupid. I'm not asking you to forgive me. Just...please, Dyne...come with me. We've been friends since we were _kids, _goddammit, if there's any shred of meaning left in that for you, come away from here!"

He just stares at me, before his head and shoulders slump. "…...why?!" His head snaps up, icy rage replacing grief, and he aims his gun-arm directly at my heart. "The hell do you care for!? Are the people killed going to come back? Are the people of Corel going to have their homes and livelihoods back? Our home is _dead_ either way! And this..._place_" he spat, waving his good hand at the gaudy opulence of the nonstop carnival, "stands on its ruins, an insult everything our forefathers stood for! To _everyone who died! And fools come here from all over the world to party here._

"I don't CARE if the world burns, Barret. All that's left is despair, and emptiness..."

_I...don't know what to say to that. _"Why add to it, then?

"Why? You want to know why?!" Dyne laughs again. "...All right, I'll tell you. 'Cause I want to destroy everything." _...shit, he's a mini-Sephiroth._ He fires a round into the Shin-Ra security guard, who's calling in the disturbance via radio. "The people of this city. This city itself." He fires three more rounds, aiming at me; the small-caliber rounds bounce off my stomach's armor, and between it and the Physical-Elemental setup Beth and Cloud insisted I use today, I only grunt from what feels like slaps. "The whole world!"

"…...I'm so, so sorry Dyne...but I can't let you do that."

He ignores me entirely. "I got nothing left in this world. Corel, Eleanor…...Marlene wouldn't recognize me. I'm just a shriveled husk of the father she had, if she even remembers me. And Eleanor… Eleanor's alone, all by herself. ...that's it...I'll take Marlene to see her, and we'll all be together again…!"

"Oh. HELL. NO." My own gun-arm is pointing straight at his face in a flash, my finger on the GX-84 Rocket-Propelled Mini-Grenade Launcher's trigger. "_Nobody _is joining _anybody_ in the Lifestream to-day!" _All this...and it's still happening!_

"My life has been over, since then, anyway. I'll take Marlene to see her mother..."

I cut him down where he stood.

"…...w-where...did I go wrong?" Dyne asked me after he collapsed, coughing up blood and clenching the ruins of his left arm. "I lost...something irreplaceable..."

"You 'went wrong' when you threatened to kill my daughter. You 'lost' your mind."

"...you're right." He manages to pull himself to his feet, and limps past me to the safety railing at the edge of this part of the saucer. "There's no going back for me, Barret...I'd only be a danger to her. I want to destroy this wretched world...a world that took everything from me." He turns to me. "Take this," he commanded, pulling something from around his neck and throwing it to me. "Give that pendant to Marlene… It was… Eleanor's… my wife's memento…"

"All right…" I agreed… but I channeled my energy into one of my materia. "I'll give it to her. I'll tell her… I found it in your old house, alright? Just… _Sleep._"

It didn't take properly, but Dyne stumbled, a drowsy look coming into his eyes. "What..." he was interrupted by another cough, "what you doing?! Stop!"

"I told you, Dyne – nobody is joining the Lifestream today. _Sleep!_"

Still no good – and, even as slowed by sleepiness as he is, he's still right next to the guardrail. I can't stop him from jumping…

"…goodbye, my old friend. May your soul find the peace this life denied you."

It's a terrible day for rain.

* * *

**Minutes later**

Judging from the several calibers of bullet casings on the ground, and the sobbing Barret by the guardrail, things must've gone roughly the way they did in canon. Tifa seems to come to the same conclusion, from her soft denial.

The Shinra Security Service officers arrive seconds after we do, with the owner of this place directly behind them. "What happened here?!" the speedo-clad muscle man demands, in a booming voice. _Looks like he was at the gym or something._

Two of the officers break rank and run to their fallen comrade. The shorter one shakes him, "Jeffrey! Jeffrey, man, come on, open your eyes!"

"...Steve? I...don't feel so good..."

"You're going to be alright, you hear me?!" Steve looks to his taller comrade, who's already on the radio for an ambulance.

"...yes, we're at the base of the stairs, Battle Arena. One man, small-caliber bullet wound to the upper chest. ...Steve, keep pressure on it, they say."

"O-on it."

_Guy must've been well-liked by his coworkers, they're ALL glaring at us, guns aimed and trigger fingers itchy._

Cloud hurriedly tells them, "We just got here and found things like this!"

"Like he said, we just got here. Don't know about that guy, though, he wasn't with us," Cait Sith confirmed, gesturing towards Barret.

Speedo-Man shakes his head. "Detain them," he orders the guards, before addressing the rest of us. "My name is Dio, I'm the owner of Gold Saucer. We'll investigate these… events, and will dispose of you accordingly. Shouldn't take more than a few hours."

* * *

Thankfully, the guards in this reality are decent enough detectives to both notice the difference in bullet caliber (thus, Barret could not have done it) and to check the cheap-ass camera (and see the whole thing go down, and rule that Barret's actions were self-defense).

Jeffrey underwent surgery to extract the bullet, and is expected to make a full recovery, thanks to quick medical response and Barret's emergency donation of a pint of blood.

As an apology for our brief detention and thanks to Barret for saving so many lives, Dio gave us one of his personal dune buggies to continue our journey. Powered by materia as it was, we wouldn't need to worry about fuel for months, at a minimum.

He also let one of us compete in the Battle Tourney to win the Keystone early. Cloud, of course, fought through it, barely succeeding against the arena's randomized mechanic even with the power of Enemy Skills _Flamethrower _and _Matra Magic_. It _almost_ made me wish we'd risked trying to get _Beta_ off one o the Zoloms, but… hell no. We can't handle that heat...yet.

After all that went down, we set out for Gongaga.

* * *

**Author's Note**

Unlike canon, Barret had time to come to terms with what would likely go down with Dyne, so he's already been through the denial and "I don't want to fight you, Dyne!" stages. He's not _over_ them, and he has some desperate hope of trying to save his friend from his insanity, but he knows what he'll have to do in the end.

Foreknowledge is a curse, sometimes.

Whether Barret really would've gone through with his promises to slaughter everyone in charge of Shinra Electric is another matter, one which we may never know, but I suspect not.

Fun trivia: Barret Wallace's blood type is type O, making him either a universal donor or nearly-so. Aerith is also.

I can't find any info whether any characters are specified as having positive or negative antigen blood. Really, though, given the common superstition in Japan of blood type corresponding to personality – similar to the superstition of horoscopes – I doubt that was the point of specifying it. _

As for Beth, she has to earn her power like anyone else, through working things out or reading up. In my headcanon, Limit Breaks are based off of character personality and knowledge both, thus the way level 4 Limits are acquired and who learns them.

Which, of course, leads one to wonder where the heck her Limit Break came from. The answer, you can figure out with a little thought and a reminder: Beth isn't showing or telling _every_ part of the story, just what she thinks is relevant.

Why yes, I _am _Handwaving it as Conservation of Detail for now. :P

Constructive criticism or, if you think it's deserved, praise is always welcome!


	11. Going Gongaga

#import COPYRIGHT_OWNERSHIP_DENIAL

* * *

**Chapter 10: Going Gongaga**

On our way there, we acquired the _Aqualung _and _Laser_ Enemy Skills...and nearly drowned in the middle of a desert.

Frickin' Harpies.

I also had the not-so-fun experience of being turned into a giant, bipedal frog. Imagine, getting jumped by half a dozen foot-and-a-half-tall amphibians, punched by a moist fist, and suddenly being four feet shorter than before, unable to use any of your materia or even lift your weapon.

Imagine them as 47 centimeters, if that helps you.

The _Fira_ tags got another field test that day, in what became known as the single most annoying fight we'd experience in our entire journey – we were surrounded, and couldn't run away; we could barely fight, given that every few seconds we were disorientated by a Baleful Polymorph; and the fey frogs couldn't really do much damage to us, either.

I felt no compunction against serving frogs' legs for dinner that day.

It was only as we were eating that I realized that, by not having the chocobo race to win our freedom, we missed the Ramuh materia… and given the even higher water content of an amphibian body (I assumed), the Summon would've wiped them all out the instant one of us was human long enough to call him.

"Aw, man… what a drag."

"Hmm? Whatcha using my catchphrase for? I should charge ya for that!"

"Oh… nothing, Yuffie, just…" _should I? Nah. _"…regretting something a little. It doesn't matter that much."

"Oh. OH." Her eyes flickered to where Cait Sith 'stood' on watch. "If you're sure, then."

I nod and change the subject to our continued practice with my _Fira _tags._ Who knows how sensitive of microphones Reeve puts in his bots? I think enough people know __my nature __as-is… and last time I told Shin-Ra personnel… __yeah, burn that bridge when we come to it._

* * *

Visiting Zack's parents was… roughly as awkward as you'd expect, from what I was told.

Cloud still couldn't _remember_ what had happened at the end – the experience was just too traumatic – but he did his best to explain how they'd known each other, and recited what I'd told him had occurred.

Aerith talked about her dates with Zack, and how they had planned to fill Midgar full of flowers together.

Tifa didn't have many memories of the spiky raven-haired swordsman, but shared how he'd saved her and Cloud's lives when they were attacked at Nibelheim's reactor.

There were hugs, tears, awkward silences, grateful thanks, and well-wishings.

Me? I...steered well clear. Zack's parents knew Cissnei, to the point of inviting her to 'join the family'. I could explain myself as having some form of amnesia, like Cloud, but given that Cloud had given that explanation for himself… yeah, too much coincidence. This was supposed to give them closure, not make them wonder more!

Instead, Barret, Reeve and I checked the remains of the destroyed reactor...and the materia inside. Sadly, many of them were useless – shattered by the explosion, or simply too small to be used. The ones which weren't – another All, an Earth, another Elemental, and a Deathblow – we snagged for ourselves.

As a squishy wizard (with ninja weapon pending new staff), I took the Elemental, and set up the same resist setup Barret mentioned earlier this chapter.

"What happened here, exactly?" I asked. "I mean, obviously the reactor exploded, but..."

Reeve spat (as well as a robot could), "AVALANCHE happened. They came, they planted a bomb, and they destroyed part of the town with the resulting explosion. They didn't just not care one whit about the innocent lives they were destroying, either – that was a bonus, in their eyes."

Barret slumped partway through the explanation, but the last sentence got his attention, and mine too. "…...wait, whaddyamean, it was a bonus?"

"Yeah, I hadn't heard about this," I contributed, shock in my eyes meeting disbelief in Barret's. _This...wasn't in Crisis Core or FF__7, as far as I remember…!_

"…..it was the previous incarnation. They were blowing up my Mako reactors, saying how they would eventually bleed the Planet to death, and searching for the needed support materia to summon something so powerful….a summon known as Zirconiaide, which would kill every living human and return them to the Lifestream." The cat paused, looking as if he was remembering something he'd read years ago. "They…said it would let the world live a little longer."

"Fuhito and I had some severe philosophical disagreement on tha' score," Barret firmly stated. "I never wanted people to die. I just wanted… t' stop Shinra. To get revenge for them destroying my hometown, killing my wife...losing my best friend… for all those people who died, and all those who would die at their hands, and those who'd die with th' world. If innocents died in the process…" he slumped, shaking his head at his past decision, "…I told myself, it was for th' good of everyone. We timed th' blasts for th' weekend, when, we hoped, there wouldn't be as many people working in those areas… wouldn't be as many people killed."

"…I didn't know...", I whispered, shocked. _How could I have known? Was this something new? Backstory that never got put into the game? ...wait, there was a game set before Crisis Core, that Japan-only_,_ wasn't there? Shit. I know nothing about that…__ this must be the part where I'm supposed to 'get used to foreknowledge becoming useless' or some shit. _

Reeve scoffed at Barret, but said nothing.

I uncovered the Titan materia when they weren't looking. _So things change. Change is always a greater-than-zero variable, not even a constant. Alter one thing, and it starts effecting dozens or more changes down the line. But they always have a baseline, if you know how where, and how far, to dig… that never changes._

Reeve wasn't in the greatest mood after that, judging by how he _Manipulate_-d several pale green, quadraped, drake-like beasts into turning themselves to stone when they tried attacking us on our way back to the village.

* * *

"I believe we should skip the visit to Cosmos Canyon."

I most certainly do _not_ spittake at this declaration from Nanaki. "Uh, why do you say that?"

The felinesque… person sitting next to me in the back of the buggy mimics a shrug. "There is little we can learn, and the best way for me to fulfill my tribe's purpose of protecting the canyon is for me to assist in obstructing Sephiroth's goals."

I think on this, as Tifa starts the engine and turns us to leave Gongaga. _He has a point, and the sooner we can reach the Temple of the Ancients the sooner we can intercept any Sephiroth Copies and deny them access. __Also, it's cold in this part of the world – the sooner we're gone, the sooner I can stop being tense for warmth._

Aerith, however, objects. "I understand you think so, but I'd like to learn some more about the Lifesteam, and maybe anything they have on my ancestors. And… Reeve could stand hearing things for himself."

"If you're referring to the Cosmos Canyon society's claims that the Planet will be dead soon, maybe in as little as a century… I'm well aware. AVALANCHE recited them quite often," Reeve answered. "Researchers have been coming and going from their observatory for several centuries, ever since the astronomical telescope was installed. I spent some time there myself, after I had invented the Mako Reactors." _Is… that _shame_ I hear in his voice?_ "Go, don't, it's all the same to me."

"Hmm."

"...thoughts, Beth?" Cloud asked.

"Uh, I was just wondering what else they'd have on record there, is all. And thinking about..." I jerk my head sideways towards Nanaki, referring to his petrified father. "I can come back later."

"Hmm...that's true," Aerith murmured. "Okay, assuming everyone's still alive, anyone who wants to go to Cosmos Canyon can do so after we've stopped Sephiroth, right?"

Cloud shudders at the reminder that assumption brings up, and I hear the creaking of Tifa's hands tightening on the wheel. He quickly tried to cover it by moving on. "So, then, where do we go next, if we're not going there?"

"...let's...give Nibelheim a little visit," Tifa growled.

_Gulp. _"…you do remember who will be waiting for us there, right?" _Guy in black, giant sword, silver hair, Sephiroth! Sephiroth!_

"Assuming things are as expected… yeah."

"Who?" asked the cat.

Cloud looked at him, Mako eyes burning, and said one word. "Sephiroth."

"Oh. I think… I need to use the litterbox. Excuse me." The bots went nonresponse, as tested by Yuffie; I had to smack her hands away from his materia a couple times.

"So, what's the plan?" I asked. "Spam Big Guard and Ethers, somebody in the back with ranged _Cura __All_,bring him down?"

Tifa shrugged. Cloud thought a moment, and said, "Something like that. We'll need to slow him down and be in top condition to even have a chance. ...where will we meet him, you think?"

I jerk a thumb towards the robots, with what I hope is a _Reeve may be only pretending and still listening in _look, but Cloud just shook his head. "No time for worrying about that now. _Where? Is he?_"

_Gha! _For a moment, I hear a different, much angrier voice, and see a sunglasses-wearing man above me, holding the bucket he just dumped the icy contents of on me… and I blurt out, "The mansion! He's in the mansion, basement level, in the library!"

Cloud blinks, alarmed, at my reaction, "Beth…?"

"Oh, for pity's sake… _Breath of the Earth!" _The soothing magic of Aerith's Limit skill washes over me and slowly suppresses the panic that came with the memory. "Cloud, be gentle!" She chided him. "It's only been a few days..."

Barret rumbled from his seat in front of me, "Yeah, but she was wit' them, what, five? And there wasn't a mark on her when they dropped her on the ship."

"...THANKS, Barret, I think my Limit Break is about ready now. Care for an interdimensional jaunt?!"

"UH, NO THANKS!" he shouted, waving his hand and gun in front of his face.

"Then shut the fuck up, you ignorant jackass."

* * *

It's one thing to be told that the hometown that was burned down around you has been rebuilt and staffed full of actors. Judging by how, once we arrived in Shinra Mansion, Cloud chopped down several swinging-on-a-giant-axe enemies and held them to the floor while Tifa strangled them with their own chains…seeing it is something completely different.

The Shin-Ra spared no expense on their cover-up – even with my eye for details, I couldn't find so much as a soot-filled crack or a heat-bubbled layer of paint anywhere. The only abnormality I could see – and which I pointed out for the benefit of Cloud's sanity – was that things looked _too uniformly new_. Everything was weathered to the same degree, the water tower tank only had a few years' worth of rust rather than decades, and a cracked pane of glass in one of the windows of Tifa's childhood home had been replaced.

We didn't find any of the people in black cloaks from the game; according to the fake innkeeper, they'd all been taken away a few days before by men in blue suits, so I suppose Tseng had them gathered up before they could leave and start causing problems.

Would be nice to know these things… but then, I don't really want to talk to him again.

As if mocking me, my PHS rang exactly as I was thinking this, and sure enough it was Tseng. I groaned, "Oh COME ON, really?!" To the others, who gave me questioning looks, I answered by flipping the device open and answering the call, "Tseng. What can I do for you."

"Aside from reporting in more often?" was the sardonic response. He continued, "I am calling to inform you that we have the incomplete Sephiroth Copies in custody. Hojo's former team is giving them checkups as we speak… given their findings with the first few, we do not expect psychological recovery to be possible."

"...frankly, sir, I wouldn't trust Hojo's team much further than I'd trust Hojo himself."

"I understand your concerns, however we have limited options without exposing Shinra, Inc. confidential information to further unauthorized personnel."

"...understood."

"I'm given to understand you have bypassed Cosmos Canyon, and have arrived in Nibelheim."

With a raised eyebrow, I look off in the direction Cloud, Tifa, and Reeve's favorite project have gone investigating. "I take it Reeve's feeding you info as usual. How much does he know?"

"He knows enough."

"Strange, because I don't."

"…...he believes you are an undercover but active member of the Turks, and has been briefed and updated with our current best intelligence on the pursuit of the target. He was somewhat confused on why his presence was necessary; I was able to convince him that as the newly-joined member, he'd be more suspect as a spy and able to keep the heat off you."

"…I told them what's going on in Costa del Sol," I admitted.

"…...you what."

"You heard me!"

"You told a group with someone you _know_ is compromised everything?!"

I'm well away from any of the 'townsfolk' at this point, leaning against one of the water tower's supporting legs and watched by an increasingly worried Aerith and bored Yuffie. "There have never been signs of remote cross-communication of information, nor of overshadowing. Besides, the decision was not solely my own, and I stated my objections. I was overruled."

"Irrelevant. You gave vital intelligence to someone who can be manipulated into using it to thwart our efforts, Miss Renault. Lives may be at greater risk because of this, do you understand?"

"I understand, sir. In my defense, we have been working diligently to… _un-_compromise the subject in question. He has shown lessened drive to pursue Seph- … our target at any cost, in favor of planning our approach and ensuring we survive an encounter with him. He's also begun recalling events which appear to be from his original identity's perspective, ones which I didn't inform him of or didn't know myself. Hazing during training for the infantry, the helicopter crash before introducing himself to Zack, _et cetera_. He says he still cannot recall the events between the Nibelheim Incident and Zack Fair's end, at this time."

"...unsurprising."

"Sir, is there any way we can find him some _professional _help, when this is over? Someone who he and Tifa would both be comfortable talking to?"

"…...once this is over, I will give them an offer to look into it. You must understand, however, that going to therapy is not seen as a good thing 'around here'. As such, there aren't many psychologists, and fewer who are authorized to know the industrial secrets that could be revealed."

"_Fuck _the secrets, Tseng! They won't matter one jot by then, and they've done _nothing_ but _hurt or endanger everyone_."

"Miss Renault, I want to help you. I want to help _them._ I _cannot_ be seen to be violating the terms of my employment, including causing or condoning information leaks. I was only able to get _you_ authorized by listing you as 'reactivated and embedded', understand?"

It takes me a moment to calm myself. I completely miss the reference to what happened to his old boss, until I peek at the script, and even then I still don't understand what it means. _More cryptic shit…_ "...I feel as if there's something behind that phrasing I don't get, so I can't say I do. I will leave it to you, then."

He doesn't explain it, instead moving on. "Several of the Copies said that the target is in the Nibelheim area. Be cautious. …Reno and Elena are in the mansion, I've instructed them to avoid the lower levels at this time. Please reinforce them, quickly."

"U-understood. Reno's not likely to take things seriously, is he?"

A chuff sounds from the phone. "If anything, he's likely to be too lazy to bother descending stairs into trouble… until he has backup, which you will provide." He hung up, at this point.

I straightened up, getting the attention of the other ladies and Nanaki. "We've been 'asked' to assist in confronting..."

* * *

"...Sephiroth!" Cloud's shout immediately has us eyes-front and on high alert. Sure enough, that's him – silver hair and two-handed katana and all.

This is the first time I've laid eyes on the man… or his copy, whichever. Frankly… I'm terrified – between impaling that Zolom on a tree before the Mythril Mine, and the movie in Crisis Core where he _repeatedly sliced through the barrel of the Junon Mako cannon like sausage_ in a simulation _spar_, I'm fully aware that this man is no joke. I feel squishy as hell… but I have a job to do, and I always do the best I can at it.

"Being here brings back memories." Sephiroth remarked, as nostalgically and comfortably as you please – as if there weren't four fully-armed people, weapons drawn and spells prepared, ready to try to kill him, with backup besides. He sighed, and asked Cloud, "Are you going to participate in the Reunion?"

"In a sense. I'm going to reunite my blade with your body – and this time, I'm not going to miss your spine!" _...__Chocobo-Head is __**pissed**__!_

"…..." Sephiroth looked hard at him, then, "Haha….ahahahaha! So, the puppet has memories! Thinks he's a real boy! Do you 'remember', Cloud, what-"

"Shut up!" Aerith snapped at him. "We're not here to listen to you twist the truth and try to shatter his mind!" A brilliant glow erupted from a pale yellow orb in her arm, and covered the rest of us in a briefly-visible barrier. The world around us slowed.

Tifa simply glared at him, adjusting the claws on her gloves, and flatly stated, "My name is Tifa Lockhart. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

Sephiroth laughed again. "Death… has tried to take me. I took his job. You... are nothing before me."

"Funny, 'cause you're fired! Bad enough the Shin-Ra killing the planet, without you doing it Jenova's way!" Barret retorted.

"Sephiroth, son of Professor Hojo and Lucrecia Crescent. Injected with Jenova cells as an early-term fetus, in hopes of recreating a Cetra lineage. Isolated and manipulated by Professor Hojo as part of a series of experiments to create a perfect weapon, whom would have no true ties to humanity besides belonging to SOLDIER." I recited, hoping to at least throw him off.

"….my mother was _Jenova_. You will be silent, or you will die painfully." His glowing eyes are as sharp and cold as his voice, but…

_I refuse to be intimidated by you. Not after what I've been through to get here. _"You are _not_ a monster by creation, and your time in the Lifestream should've shown you that not only was Jenova not a Cetra, but that the Cetra nearly destroyed themselves sealing her away. That humans and the Cetra lived together, and were effectively the _same people_. And that most humans are not like those who made your friends' lives hell. Stop this madness!"

"Hmph…...you're right, I did see it. The memories were...faded, ancient by millenia, separated from the souls who formed them. Professor Gast was very, very wrong. Jenova… is the calamity from the skies, a glorious being traveling from world to world, immortal and, once, unimaginably powerful.

"Few remember my friends. Their struggles against Shinra were classified at the highest possible levels. I care not how you know of them, _human_, or your claims of my 'true' parentage. I have Jenova's body and cells… I am her child by legacy, if nothing more… and I will remember, forever. This very body is Jenova… _I am effectively immortal_."

_Not yet, you're not… but thanks for playing. ...wait, that's not a copy?! THAT'S Jenova?_

"So, Cloud… I don't think you're entirely qualified for the Reunion. Let's have a little test, shall we? You and your 'friends', against me. Let me just make some room." With that, Sephiroth smashed the bookcases lining the hallway with his ridiculous blade, before reaching out a hand, forming a grip as if catching a ball, and _pulled. _The debris flew around and behind him, deeper into the library, leaving a now about seven foot (think… two meters?) wide hallway, and smashing the table in the back out of the way.

Reeve immediately ran like hell, and slammed the door behind us, prompting the insane(r) ex-SOLDIER to cackle. "Already your 'friends' abandon you, like the worthless and discarded puppet you are!"

"…...I control my own strings. Pity you cannot say the same." With that, Cloud charged, and the battle was joined.

* * *

**Author's Notes**

Wait, what? No! What're you doing, you're all way too underleveled and underequipped to fight this guy! Looks like Cloud isn't as getting-his-shit-together as Beth thought he was, either. Or maybe he's just ticked off at Sephiroth trying to manipulate him?

The "swinging-from-a-giant-axe" enemy is of course Ghirofelgo. The pale green drake is the pale green drake. (I didn't copy down the name, but it starts with a G also, I think.)

The reference to the fate of Tseng's former boss is another _Before Crisis_ reference. His former boss was feeding information to his daughter... who was the head of the first (and more genocidal, in the end) incarnation of AVALANCHE. The Shinra, Inc. board of directors nearly disbanded the Turks in retaliation, once the truth came out; by the time of FF7, they're under scrutiny and their numbers are limited.

A note regarding terminology: The _Compilation_ varyingly calls them Shinra Electric Power Company, Shinra Inc., and Shin-Ra. My general rule is for most characters who don't work for the company and have… grievances with them to use "the Shin-Ra" as a derogatory term, much like the Ferengi on Star Trek: The Next Generation and later use "hew-man" to refer to humans. Sephiroth is above such pettiness… given that he Hates Everyone Equally.


	12. On This Crazy Train

#import COPYRIGHT_OWNERSHIP_DENIAL

Other perspectives.

* * *

**Chapter 11: On This Crazy Train**

My steps are sure as I charge at the man I once looked up to, and my mind is clearer than ever. I have three goals here:

\- Destroy Sephiroth's body.

\- Don't let him kill anyone.

\- Don't leave an opening for one of Beth's annoying lectures on narrative drama and fate-tempting.

This isn't like the Nibelheim reactor, where a young and grief-stricken flunky ambushed the demon who'd set his hometown on fire…

Sephiroth easily blocks my swings with his blade, despite the speed-up, and counters quickly – low for my leg, slashing up, and twisting his arm to let the arc bat aside my own counter.

...no, this is a forewarned and prepared SOLDIER(...-equivalent) with a squad of backup.

Sephiroth nearly dances out of the way of my own swing, and deftly slices one of Barret's RPGs in half. Too deftly, as he might agree.

Reality ensues, as the blow directly on the impact sensor sets off the explosives in his face. I use the opening to land a _Deathblow_ on his sword-arm, and manage to slash deep into the muscle, severing the ulnar artery.

He, in turn, jumps aside again, shaking off the flash with inhuman speed, and flicks the Masamune horizontally in an attempt to take out my left arm, nearly succeeding but for the Barrier portion of the slowly-fading _Big Guard_ spell.

What he doesn't seem to notice, or blithely ignores, is that this second dodge brings him directly in the line of fire of my friends.

His back is quickly peppered with a series of _Blizza__r__a_ spells from Aerith, none of them seeming to hurt him much, but weighing him down.

Beth _Slow_s him down further, letting me land several more blows as the restricted environment forces Sephiroth to limit the angles he can swing the ōdachi to intercept.

Unfortunately, the environment is only restricted width-wise – and Sephiroth can somehow _fly_, which he does, a black wing suddenly shattering the ice and breaking free. "Not bad, for someone of your… 'experience'."

The mocking tone sets my teeth on edge, and I channel a _Bio_ into my blade – a draining trick Beth had me try on our journey. "How about you get back down here and see what happens when I've finished warming up?"

"That won't be necessary… but if you truly wish to continue this, I'll be heading north, past Mount Nib-" He cuts off to knock away Yuffie's shuriken sneak-attack.

"BO~RING! CHEA~TER! OLD~ MAN~!" Yuffie taunted Sephiroth with the sort of certainty in her own immortality only a young teenager could pull off, pulling another identical fuuma shuriken out of her sleeve and unfolding it.

Sephiroth has a look of disbelief and mild amusement as he looks at her. "…pathetic. Truly-" he began, before focusing on intercepting, dodging, and deflecting dozens of the tracking micromissiles of Aerith and Tifa's simultaneous _Matra Magic_ spells. Annoyance bloomed into outrage, as he was knocked down, nearly to his knees, by Beth's summoning of the Fat Chocobo on his head... and said giant bird pooping on him, then fading back to wherever Summons live before it could be roasted and carved up.

Nanaki and I attacked from either side as one, me with a _Climhazzard_ attack which ripped through Sephiroth's increasingly tattered cloak and literally ripped him a new asshole – and unleashing the _Bio _spell into his bloodstream – and Nanaki's _Blood Fang_ attack having to break off as the pissed-off madman turned the air in front of him into a whirlwind of metal death.

"CLEAR!" came the scream from Tifa and Aerith together, and I jumped back on the command I'd had drilled into me on the two-day journey from Gongaga – the double-_Thundara_ attack easily overpowering the insulating properties of the wrapping of the Masamune, flowing up Sephiroth's heavily-bleeding arm, and shocking his nervous system.

This doesn't remotely faze him, not even with the near-constant peppering of bullets Barret's been subjecting him to, and he jumps back into the air. "So, you wish to truly fight me? You mewling humans, and a dog? …...very well. _Shadow Flare._"

Flames burst around all of us, slowed by the last vestiges of _Big Guard_'s magic barrier, and setting the stored books on fire.

"He's trying to run us out of oxygen!" Beth yelled. "Hurry and- _AAIIIEEEE!_" I try to chase after Sephiroth and discourage his attack, but he's too fast! The short woman rolls away from the lunge and tries to throw more _Blizzara_ spells at him, but they're simply smacked away, one even hitting Tifa and causing a pained yelp from the instant near-frostbite. The cry makes Beth freeze up in guilt just long enough that she can't dodge a rib-shattering blow from the dull backside of the Masamune, which extracts a blood-curdling scream and sends her to the floor, leaning against the very tube I apparently spent so much time in.

**That's one down, Cloud, **mocks the voice I've been hearing in my head since the Sector 1 Reactor. **Let's see how many more you can fail before this is done!**

Rage fills me alongside the flash of migraine, and the moment Sephiroth moves away I slice away with Blade Beam until I can no longer sustain its power… Sephiroth counters by summoning three pillars of flame from the fires around us to diffuse it and drive me back – I find myself back in the hallway, being driven back into the depths of the library as I struggle to keep up with parrying his blows. He finally grows weary of the exchange, and sends me flying back with a blast of _Firaga_ that slams me into a not-yet-ignited bookshelf, amongst the remnants of the desk.

"_CLOUD! _No!" I hear the warbled cry from Tifa, as blackness tinges the edges of my vision.

"You hear her? Such concern, for someone who doesn't even exist. You know, don't you? You were made here, like I was… in this very basement, in fact, from my cells and a bunch of Mako. Infused with the memories of a real SOLDIER, 1st class… who couldn't defeat me either."

"You...liar..! GHAAA!" I scream when he impales my right leg, but I refuse to pass out in the face of it.

"No lies, little Cloud, my little attempt by Hojo to duplicate me… yes, I had some time here to… update myself on the goings-on of the past few years." He slides the sword from my thigh, and repeats the performance on my left… I use the pain to keep awake, and manage to force him to quickly withdraw to avoid a swing at his own legs from the sword which landed next to me. "Still have some fight in you, I see? Too bad I can't just eliminate you, seems those Turks have started disposing of the Copies Hojo made of me.

"And even you can't manage the journey alone, yet… tell you what. I'll spare…" he paused to once again destroy another Matra Magic attack – the others not daring something stronger with me so close – "...three of them, in this room. I'll even let you have the cowardly robot for free, so you won't feel alone, puppet. The other three, will die." He sends another _Shadow Flare_ down the hall, vaporizing Barret's desperate _Big Shot_ round and forcing Tifa to hug the wall of the hall with her face turned away. "Choose quickly! Sift those false memories… who do you love most? Who… do you hate? Who would be the biggest loss?"

The mockery and pain are getting to me, but Aerith manages to extend the range of her _Healing Wind_ enough to regrow the muscles and skin of my legs. The swordsman just keeps his twisted smile on his soot-covered face as I pull myself back to my feet. _I...can barely stand…and he's trying to get into my head! OUT! YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE!_ GHAHAAARGHH! I put my full strength into one more Deathblow, forcing him to block, as I feel the speed and protections of a _Big Guard_ spell settle into me once more.

Tifa unloads everything she has into his back, sending feathers floating loose with every strike of her _Beat Rush, _turning the impact of his quick _Firaga_ into an opportunity to kick off from where two sets of shelves meet, and landing a _Somersault_ which nearly breaks his wing off. She's joined by Nanaki's second attempt at a _Blood Fang,_ which this time successfully drains away more of his life and the fuel for those overpowered spells. Barret continues taking pot shots when he can, throughout this.

While she continues by slamming _him_ into the shelves for a change with a _Waterkick_ that, incidentally, puts out some of the fire creeping in around us nearly as well as the _Aqualung_ Aerith's using, I chug an Elixir to finish the job the _Healing Wind_ earlier started. It restores me well enough to disarm – literally – Sephiroth, who finds himself suplexed like a train I saw in a Saturday-morning cartoon once, courtesy of the most awesome bartender on Gaia.

The impact somehow _still_ doesn't finish him off… and worse, we're treated to the disgusting sight of his hand beginning to regrow, even as he throws Tifa into Nanaki and goes for his sword once more.

Neither does a hurried _Braver_ which seems to just phase through his head. What the _hell_ does it take to kill him?!

"Yes… anger, despair. Let it fill you… you have no chance-"

"GET BACK!" Calls Barret, who seems to have finally gotten sick of this crap.

* * *

"_SHIVA!_ Get yo' self in here and waste this demon!" I'll admit, I still don't fully get this materia crap, and my spells aren't powerful like Aerith's and Cait Sith's, but I'm mo' than able to summon 'gods' for their borrowed power.

Her blue form condenses quickly, and the usual spray of _Diamond Dust_ is practically a snowstorm for some reason I'll think about _later_. It slams into that mofo' like a freight train, and freezes him to another set of shelves before his left hand can close around that *$ ^ sword again.

"Thank you again for your help!" I call to her as she fades, and she nods professionally before vanishing without a word.

Tifa manages to push herself up, holding her side and hobbling away from an unmoving Nanaki. I worry for a second at how blue she's looking, but there's no time – I just run forward and grab Nanaki, since the protective spells fade when you're KO'd, and help her back towards Aerith and Yuffie for healing.

The door pops open when I get her there, and I see Cait Sith hurrying in with a set of dice clutched in his Mog-bot's hands and black-haired, red-wrapped stranger with him. The gold arm catches my eye – _gettin' to be too many people like me 'round here _– and as I set my coconspirator and the… whatever he is down, I comment, "Looks like you managed to get'im woken up. Vincent, am I right?"

"...yes."

"Great-" I have to cut off because _SOMEONE _just broke free with another one of his bullshit _Shadow Flares_, and I have to run to take the brunt of it to protect our wounded. "-_%* !(+ing OW_. Can you give us a hand?"

"Between you…two you...should...be able...to han...dle it..." Beth wheezed, from where Yuffie had bound her ribs, before sipping gingerly from a bottle of prescription-strength Potion.

"...you get a pass because you're that badly hurt, but please, never make amputation jokes around me again, you get me? Hurry up and finish that, it'll only hurt longer if you draggit out."

She nodded weakly, wincing in pain as the magic from the potion slowly filtered through to her bones. "Sorry, just...tryin-"

"I know you are, girl. Stay down." I finish my own, much weaker, Potion to recover from the burns and get back to making that asshole's day more annoying.

* * *

Thirty years.

Thirty years of sleep for my sins… and I am awoken to to eliminate the result of one.

At this range, the scope on this sniper rifle is worse than useless, but I put round after round into Hojo's creation without issue.

Headshots do nothing whatsoever, and its bones are far more resilient than they should be… but I methodically cripple the human-shaped monster one joint at a time.

The auburn-haired girl on the floor gets my attention when I stop to reload and let the barrel cool. "Mr. Valentine… here..." she plucks two materia from her weapon, and rolls them across the floor to me. "Ifirit and...Elemental...cauterize wounds… slow healing… and when…he falls..." she turns her head and coughs; neither of us acknowledge the pinkish color. "When he falls… burn every….thing…sanitize...weapons...important."

I don't understand why she feels the need for such actions, but I slot the materia into the rifle they'd provided and tighten the securing rings, before swapping the empty magazine for a fresh one.

As the two swordsmen continue their dance macabre, I wait for safe openings and unleash hellfire at every opportunity.

I may be immortal, so I'll never feel those flames in my afterlife… but my sins _will_ burn.

* * *

We've been fighting him for nearly twenty minutes.

My eardrums are crying for mercy at this point from all the gunfire, and I've drained so many Ethers that I feel… fizzy, and hungry, and like I'm running on espresso after two days without sleep. I can't stop yet, though!

I push my magic to my limits to reach the blonde boy who's been through so much, to soothe his pain and maintain the barriers which barely provide enough of an edge to survive… to send yet another wave of the magic missiles that are all I trust to not accidentally hurt him.

It _burns_, and at this point I treat myself to an Elixir, hoping I'm not causing permanent damage to myself by such prolonged casting.

I've done as much to treat Teef as I can – she looks like a chrysalis, wrapped up in blankets like that, waiting to claw out as a beautiful butterfly.

Not that she's not already, inside… I'm not even into women, and she's got a certain appeal.

...especially when she broke out the- no! Focus!

I risk a basic _Thunder_ when Cloud gets knocked away, and again Sephiroth's sword acts as a lightning rod. Not a lot gets through the grip, but the involuntary twitch lets Barret's _Big Shot_ land again.

Sephiroth is even worse to look at than the Dark Elf was, somehow. There's Lifestream in him, but… not much at all, all of it twisted and contaminated, and everything else is _wrong._

_It's like looking at an Escher painting from a nonexistent direction, while on hallucinogens and uppers…_

Another _Cura_.

_Are we even really hurting him? He's not reacting with pain, doesn't flinch…_

I steel myself, and as Reeve attempts to _Confuse_ him I run a _Sense_ spell over him.

_Jenova-MATRON (Overshadowed) Lvl: 53 HP: 2294 / 40000 MP: 168 / 800. Immune to Gravity._

..._he did say the body was Jenova, I guess. ...urp._

"Keep going, he's nearly there!" I call to Cloud, with another painful _Cura. _The little green orb seems pushed over some arbitrary limit with this cast, and I hear the whisperings of a stronger spell yet. I ignore them for a moment, as I collapse from the drain. "Reeve! Take over...I can't continue..."

"R-righty-o!" I hand over the Restore and Enemy Skill materia, which he takes and installs in that insane Silver Megaphone we found off the lobby…

* * *

...and I immediately have to cast the strongest available spell in it when that stupid princess nearly gets herself disemboweled. The hell is she thinking, running in up close like that when she has…

...oh. She pinned a few of those weird tags directly to his baby-sized hand and… I'm so glad I didn't put a nose in these things!

I stuff a few more Noritos in my mouth, take a swig of Big Orange, and continue firing off spells as fast as the robots' mana capacitors can recharge. I-

* * *

\- come to with a pained jolt, and see Tifa enveloped in a blanket next to me. She nods to an uncorked bottle of High-Strength potion and a bowlful of its previous contents, which I gratefully consume.

_This is taking too long, we outnumber him like seven...make that eight to one,_ I note the stranger lying on the floor and taking frequent, firey shots. _Where did those Turks get to, anyhow?_

* * *

"This is kinda boring… just waiting out here, as a back-up plan, waiting to set off explosives."

The newbie just scoffed at me. Me! "There's eight of them fighting in there, and the records show it's close quarters. And, it's against the most powerful SOLDIER ever produced. I sure don't want to be one of the people in there!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever, I'm just sayin'! And you should be more respectful of your elders!"

"Reno, I respect your abilities."

"Thank you! ...wait a-"

* * *

_-minute or two more of this, and I think we've got him!_

Sephiroth's down an arm, which isn't healing any more, and while he's nearly as good with his left the motion is still just slightly less fluid.

His hair and cloak are all but burned away, and _damn that smell is nasty, even given everything else that's burned in here;_ he's hobbling from where I managed to nick his Achilles's tendon, and several of his wounds elsewhere are… nasty, from the _Bio_s Cloud-san infected him with earlier.

I dislike fighting up close, but the group still doesn't trust me with more than Revive and Restore materia. _Just because I want to liberate them from everyones' possession… golly! _As such, I frequently have to dodge swords and elbows to recover my weapon when I throw it, and it gets knocked off-course when it boomerangs back.

Doesn't mean I haven't managed to sneak one or two choice ones…and nobody warned the blonde not to give me any.

I recite the words the red orb whispered to me earlier: "_Wise warchief and fierce rider, I call upon your power… strike down the world's enemy, I beseech you! Odin!"_

The drain is sudden, and of a degree I'm completely unaccustomed to. ..._I… can't move! _Sephiroth blasts Cloud-san with another of his _Shadow Flares, _and spins around to deal with me; for a heartstopping moment…

_I think I'm going to die here…_

I scream in agony as his blade impales me, so slowly…

_I'm not ready to die!_

The world goes red, and all I can hear is the roar…of my blood…

...and suddenly the blade is ripped right back out, as Sephiroth is impaled by a massive spear, wielded by a demonic-looking knight on the back of a charging, six-legged horse, and pinned to the wall.

"**Strike quickly, warriors of light – I cannot remain manifest long with my summoner so injured!"**

I struggle to seal my wound… all I have is a rank-one Restore materia, and I pull as much _Cure_ magic from it as I can, but the returned feeling… is not good news.

_I don't want to die…father…_

I struggle to remain conscious, to keep Odin on this side of the Feymarch's boundary… I chug both of my strong potions, for once cursing my preference to carry more snazzy weapons instead of battlefield-

* * *

-aid I can provide in such a case, but what I can, I do: I pull out one of my grenade-bombs, I sprint past the giant-ass mutant horse, and with a yell of, "_NOW COMES AS A SUPPOSITORY, B-"_

* * *

-_lood Fang _to finish him off already, and I nearly rip his calf muscles off in the-

* * *

-process everything's that going on right now, but from my feed I can see that the girl is in bad -

* * *

"-time to be you, you're half the man you used to be!" I snark. _How's it feel to be the one getting mocked, for once? _The Blade Beam extinguishes its energies, and I pull -

* * *

_\- _her out of the area and down the hall as quickly as I can without further aggravating her injury. As I appraise her injury, it's all I can do to resist the anger and not reach within myself -

* * *

-and channel one last _Big Guard_, so that Cloud can be sure to get away. I'm not losing him again, I can't watch him die again -

* * *

\- and again, and again… Those meddling kids, and their little 'dog' too, those fools will know pain -

* * *

\- isn't so bad, as I quickly scan the area of the blast to make sure he's really dead. _Sense_ returns the MP needed to activate it, thankfully, so the feeling subsides quickly.

Odin seems to have desummoned himself right before the bomb went off… or it could be because his summoner has passed out from the shock. Oh no...I hurriedly stuff a Phoenix Down pill in her mouth and make her swallow it. She comes to again, but the wound keeps bleeding. I don't think my _Healing -_

* * *

"-wind up hurting… this much… I would've insisted…we get..._White Wind…_before...we came…here. Mr. Valentine… please, place… our melee wea...pons in the…other room...and summon Ifrit...one-thirty-two...degrees Celsius… four minutes.

"Nanaki...mouthwash. Now. Gargle."

I'm pretty sure his will is more than strong enough to resist, and it's possible he swallowed something of it too, but there's no point taking -

* * *

"- chances, if we can't get her Highness to a proper hospital in time. Um… I think we can get clearance to take her to Wutai, our chopper has enough fuel and materia to get us there. Back might be more of a problem." _I really should check with Tseng before making promises...but international incident! Goddess damn it all, I'm the new girl, I shouldn't be in charge of these things!_ _I swear, if Reno wasn't actually pulling his weight right now -"_

* * *

"- you're telling me that Sephiroth showed up in Nibelheim, that motley crew actually managed to _kill him_, half the old mansion has collapsed from a fire, and that the heiress to the nation of Wutai is in danger of dying, either from internal bleeding or senzu overdose?"

"That is the report, sir."

"What a cluster-"

* * *

"-^%(* you mean, you want to 'borrow' my Tiny Bronco?! I don't give a flying shit if you're with the Turks, the ONLY way you're getting you're flying that thing is with ME behind the controls!"

"That will be satisfactory. ...this tea is quite good."

"...Hmph. Ya hear that, Shera? You didn't ^%(* up the GODDAMN tea."

"T-thank you, captain, sir."

* * *

**Author's Note**

I really hope I didn't make things seem too easy, especially at the beginning. It's quite possible to do a low-level run and kill off even Safer Sephiroth in the game, and, of course, Sephiroth is using his hidden Limit Break, "Don't Take Cloud Seriously"… but still.

Note that, having skipped Cosmos Canyon, poor Aerith doesn't have access to the MP Plus Materia...even an extra 10% would help in this sorta situation. Same for Cloud – no extra health. They didn't backtrack, either, opting to rush to the encounter and get it over with, so… no _White Wind_, and no _Beta_ skill either, to make this easier.

And our favorite(?) materia-treasure hunter pays for it.

The Feymarch is the land where the Summon monsters live, in the world of Final Fantasy IV. I just decided to borrow it, like the Dark Elf. I figure, "hey, Yuffie's the Princess of Wutai, and they basically worship the summon Leviathan… it would make sense for them to have some ideas about where, exactly, their pantheon lives."

I decided to call this Sephiroth's form Jenova-MATRON because, in my head, the Jenova-SYNTHESIS faced at the end of the game is the true form of the abomination's body, fully regenerated in the time Sephiroth was possessing it. Here, not nearly enough time has passed for it to regain its full power (we're still in disc 1 territory, here) and Sephiroth hasn't seen the need to morph it into anything besides his original form. Still, it's at least a major portion of the remainder of the body remaining after the Jenova-LIFE battle back on the cargo ship, so no another-tiny-piece battle like Jenova-DEATH. It's in-between, and directed by Sephiroth.

In short, I made it up because it seemed cool.

This chapter's title is taken from Ozzy Osbourne's song _Crazy Train _– all rights belong to him and the current distributor (which… I _think_ is Virgin EMI Records? I'm not looking all night to dig deeper.)

As you may guess, the plot of FF7 is more-or-less derailed at this point. Bizarro and Safer Sephiroth still need to be dealt with, but as things stand the only way for him to destroy the world via _Meteor_ is for Cloud to go to the Temple, acquire the Black Materia, and walk it all the way down to the end of the final dungeon. The other Sephiroth Copies are being eliminated by the Turks, if we believe Sephiroth himself, so we can't expect two of them to retrieve it.

Note that this does _**NOT **_mean that _Advent Children_ is off the table – Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz (the three creeps) were materialized directly from corrupted Lifestream energy, not from Sephiroth Copies.

_Dirge of Cereberus_ can continue – that's a whole mess independent of Sephiroth – I suppose, but the Turks have been forwarned of Hojo's plans. Whether they can do anything about it without having their efforts nullified and themselves fired… but hey, that's not Beth's problem.

The story's not over yet! My updates might become less frequent, as I have to make more and more plot up, but don't worry much, I intend to see this to the end.

* * *

In response to verynew's review,

"Round one, FIGHT!

"Yet, what would happen if Jenova was Glitched away by Beth's Limit-Break? Would it infect some other place?"

The answer is yes – just like Gilgamesh got banished in FFV and has been having cameo appearances in subsequent games (and replacing Odin in FFVIII if… a certain something occurs), Jenova or her parts would be deported to some other, unsuspecting world. Given the devastation this would cause, and nearly happened to the FF7 world two thousand years before the story, Beth would never dare use it on anything she even _suspects_ to be Jenova-related. I doubt a certain lady in white would appreciate it either…

I doubt that any part of Jenova would be so dangerous as it was 2000 years ago – its been sealed away and starved that entire time – but the potential is definitely there.


	13. Interlude: You're Not Walking That Off

#import COPYRIGHT_OWNERSHIP_DENIAL

TRIGGER_WARNINGS="Mention of female infertility"

* * *

**Chapter 12: Interlude: You're Not Walking That Off: The Coloning**

"….Insert's Log, Stardate...ugh, 3 January, 0008. Cait Sith, Barret, and Vincent have departed to begin preparations for an assault on North Crater. Meanwhile, Cloud, Aerith, and Tifa have decided to take a little vacation to properly build their relationships, now that the heat is off for the moment, by exploring Wutai. I expect the shenanigans would make a funny OVA, or maybe a short anime series…episodes thwarting the Don Corneo plot of the week, with a B-plot of Cloud's defogging amnesia, or Aerith sensing some problem from the planet that they head out to solve, or Tifa learning to express herself more honestly without first being pissed-off. I'd totally spend money on that. Unfortunately, I'm the High King of Hospital Bed #42 and can't see it.

"Er… furthermore-"

My self-indulgent, and extremely BORED, subvocalized 'log' is interrupted by a soft groan from the room's other bed, and by the heartbeat monitor wired to the occupant's chest beeping faster– _shit, she's waking up. _I rummage around for the call button and – thankfully – find it quickly.

_Okay, try for pleasant and reassuring here. _"Good morning, sunshine! It's me, Beth – you're safe, you're in a hospital in Wutai. Don't try to talk or move around, alright? ...I mean, give me a thumbs-up with your left hand if you can understand me...your other lef- that's not your thumb, silly." I shake my head at her antics. "...I'm glad you're with us."

* * *

I'm not even going to try to recite all the medical jargon that flew around upon our arrival at Wutai General Hospital, anymore than I'm going to lie and say I didn't comment on the lack of creativity whoever named the place clearly had. (I blame the painkillers.)

In short, Yuffie Kisaragi, the 'White Rose' and Princess of Wutai… came very close to dying on the operating table, and she's going to be here for a while she heals. I'm worried that sepsis is still a danger, given the damage to her large intestine… and the doctor says there's a good chance she'll never be able to safely bear kids herself.

She got very quiet when the doctor explained that part. I… wouldn't have thought she wanted kids, given how kid-like she acts herself, but I guess that's me making assumptions. I am _not_ touching that subject with her - I have no intentions of getting pregnant, nor of _staying_ there if it somehow happens. Quasi-parasite which sends its cells through the placenta into its immuno-suppressed host to reprogram the brain to put said creature's well-being over that of the host? _I do not consent._ Needless to say... being honest on my views may come off as insensitive.

Also, despite her looks and the way she acts… she's _sixteen_, not the fourteen I'd thought. Makes that Gold Saucer date scene _slightly_ less creepy, and the ninja a bit annoyed at me.

Me? Two broken ribs on the left side, and a third cracked… and the trauma damaged my spleen. I've been treated with high-power _Curaga_s every two hours, in a desperate attempt to prevent having to completely remove it.

* * *

"...I really wish my stuff had come with me."

"….what d'ya mean?"

I shook my head and answered, "I had a phone with a whole bunch of stories saved on it, and some games. More involved than the ones on this thing," I clarified, waving the PHS – in the local equivalent of Airplane Mode, obviously. "Zolom is fun and all, basically like Snake back home… and Tetris is a multiverse-wide constant as far as enjoyment goes… but I miss my rogue-likes."

She snorts, then hisses.

"Sorry, didn't mean to make you laugh."

Yuffie waved it off a moment later, with the hand which wasn't pressed as close to the wound as she could stand. "You fine, B… B… what was your… I know you, I swear, I'm not a jerk..."

"You just can't remember it, with the meds in your system. It's okay. I'm Beth."

"Beth… now, what is that word, that that is?"

"…a name?"

She smiles like I've told her the meaning of life, and nods weakly. A moment later, she puts it in words, "Yeah, 'name'."

"...don't worry about it. When _this guy I knew_ had his appendix taken out at nine, well… please don't laugh again… he was talking with the doctor about the machines hooked up to him, and why there was one loudly-beeping one keeping tabs on his temperature and oxygen levels. I-_he_ couldn't remember the word 'hypothermia' for his life until the general anesthetics worked their way out of his system a couple days later."

Judging from the stupid look on her face, the pained sniffing noises, and her gently banging one fist on the bed rail… yeah, I got laughed at. _Worth it_.

* * *

"_Esuna? _Single most useful spell ever discovered, for antibiotic purposes. Second is _Sense_. You'd think _Curaga_ would be getting all the use in a hospital, but nope! The body heals best naturally, or with specially-formulated medicines. Trying to rush things means the new tissue is… easily re-injured. So, no, Princess, we _can't_ just hand you a Restore materia and send you on your way."

"...so, sepsis shouldn't be an issue?" I ask.

"Oh good golly no, what's this, the 12th century? We have _Esuna_, and antibiotics, both!" The doctor laughs at me on the way out the door, but I'm too relieved to care much.

"Wait, my spleen!...he's go-"

"Excuse me? He backpedaled and leaned his balding head in. "Your… spleen? Uh, I'm not _your_ doctor, but generally there's nothing else we _can_ do for spleen damage but pump it full of magic… or remove it entirely, and you don't want the latter."

"Eh?"

"Makes you weak against bacterial and protozoan infections, and Ribbons wear out eventually if you can find them, so… yeah, you don't wanna go there."

"...ah shit. Thanks, doc."

* * *

The No Periods, Period trope is sadly not in effect here. This… is basically the one thing I haven't liked better about being a girl, so far.

Okay, second – I miss being able to pee standing up and all that.

There will probably be a third, the moment some 'manly macho man' tries flirting with me, but I really don't want to think about that.

* * *

"…I cannot in good conscious condone an unlicensed, unapproved method of treatment such as you're suggesting, Miss Lockhart… even if I must admit, seeing Phoenix would be my life's dream come true. Besides, you'd set the bed on fire."

"…you got me there, Dr. Chakwas."

* * *

A few days later, I'm something of a captive audience for a family matter between Yuffie and her father – between my broken ribs, it being painful to move, being connected to an IV feed of moderate painkillers, and not being stupid enough to aggravate said ribs if I don't have to, I'm not exactly the Sonic the Hedgehog of mobility right now. Still, I'm feeling really damn awkward here. "Hey guys… If you really need a moment, I can get one of the nurses to help me up and out, and back in. Seriously, Yuffie, it's fine."

"Father, please! Oww… stop, just… listen for a sec. And no, Beth, you stay right here!" She's having none of it. "I know how badly hurt I got on this 'escapade', believe me," she emphasizes by pointing first at her bandaged gut, and then at the bags of fluids, painkillers, and antibiotics hanging from the IV machine next to her, "but the moment I can get out of this bed and walk, I am going right back out. And I am going to find a way to destroy the Shin-Ra and restore my home's honor as a nation!."

"We _have_ honor, my daughter. The honor of _survival. _What you're doing… if nothing else, you are the only hope of our family line! If you die, even if you gain us whatever you think would put Wutai back as a world power? We'd become a nation in a _civil war _over succession! Did you never think of that?!"

"Of COU-… of course I thought about that. But at least we'd not be a la… lau.. right, a laughingstock, a _resort town_, pandering to tourists who know _nothing_ of us!"

"No… we wouldn't, because there wouldn't _be_ any of us." Godo snapped. He then visibly calmed himself, before continuing. "...I do understand your goals, Yufi-chan. We fought against their invasion for _nine years_, you think I wanted us to be reduced to this? A shadow of our former power, existing at the whim of others? I sympathize with you – why do you think I let you leave? Yes, let you – you really think you could truly 'escape' without your guards, and our spy network, not knowing your passing? Please."

"I guessed. You understand? Then understand, this enemy affects entire world's future. No future if he wins. Don't wanna fight with you. Hurts." _She does look a little pale… _"Tired."

Godo palms his face with both hands, covering his nose and mouth and shaking his head. "Very well, I see you're not willing to listen to my request, that you stop searching, even for a few years… I will tell you this, however, and you can think it over while you heal. Strength without determination… means nothing. _Determination_, without strength, is equally useless. Listen to the doctors, and at least regain your strength and ability before you go." He smoothly stands and heads for the door, pausing with his guards at the foot of my bed.

"The same goes for you, who was injured alongside her."

_What an oddly formal man. _"Of course, sir. May I ask you something besides this question?"

His stone-faced expression does not acknowledge the smart-aleck cut-off of that line of joking. "Within reason."

"...why am I, a stranger to you and Wutai, allowed to stay in the same room as your effectively helpless daughter? It seems like a security hazard. The 'hidden' guard intended to keep me from noticing the other one, aside." I've had a lot of time to be bored and observe, and I've read just enough Naruto fanfic to suspect ninja tricks at all times, even if I can't actually spot a second one.

"…" He's silent, looking at me as if I'd not said anything, and I'm tired enough to just wait him out. Eventually, he tells me, "First, the hospital admins and doctors did not recognize her – Yufi-chan traveled under a false last name and ID. Yet, despite her training, she felt she could trust you with her actual name… I trust my daughter." He quickly dropped to an irritated whisper I could barely pick out, "To an extent." Before I could fully register that, he continued as before, "Your comrades spoke of you, also… they were adamant that you were a well-meaning person, one who tried talking down even their greatest enemy, so I expect you to be more intelligent than to try anything." _Still not seeing a good reason for leaving me in here._ "Also, there are _three_ guards in the room, and others outside… not counting yourself. I expect you will do your own best, if something attempts the unwise." _Uh, the heck am I supposed to do, wince at them?_

He walks out, and then pokes his head back in for a final comment: "Also, a decade of training followed by nine years of war will teach you how to identify threats and non-threats… and to not fight the script when it tells you something is going to happen one way or another."

…_m__u-fucka,__ that's MY shtick!_

* * *

**27 January, 0008**

"Why the heck do you keep that thing under your _pillow_ of all places?!" Yuffie asked. She had her stitches out this morning, so I think she's looking for pretty much anything to to distract her.

"The walls, and floor, have ears." Turns out, one of the two I hadn't seen was _Mini_'d under my bed… despite how Wutai isn't supposed to have materia. I've decided to _Not Ask Classified Questions_ about that.

"They're members of my father's personal guard – they're cleared to hear anything up to and including vague inklings of national secrets. They have to be, since they're always nearby."

"…let's just say that I don't want Reeve handing this over to the Turks. Even if Sephiroth doesn't have another way to interact with the world yet – and given the whole 'spirit body legacy' thing, and the way Jenova can seemingly regenerate some form of itself from even small pieces, I'm not convinced of that – I'm just not comfortable with the idea of Shinra, or _anyone_, having literally world-cracking power at their hands. Bad enough that, with their Mako reactors, the planet will be dead in a century and all."

"Well, alright, but then why do _you_ have it, when we're in the hospital and can't really defend it?"

"Think about it – our group's split up several way right now. One has someone who can still be mentally manipulated or influenced by Sephiroth, even if he's regaining his sense of true self and all with his girlfriends' help. He's practically the Winter Soldier, for the risk involved to have the key near him without all of us to keep it away. Then, in the other group, we have Mr. Barret 'Mouth-off to President Shinra and openly declare AVALANCHE membership' Wallace, Mr. Vincent "Slept in a coffin for like three decades of self-pity instead of using his new power to track down the man who shot him and seeks to cause no end of problems" Valentine – man, that's a mouthful – and finally, Mr. Reeve "Everyone knows he's a spy" Whats-his-name. Neither option sounds as safe as keeping it with us in a place where we have ninja guarding you, me, and by extension _it_, deep inside the borders of a historically Shinra-antagonistic nation, even if we're a little under the weather at the moment."

"…...ok, I'll buy that, but it doesn't answer the question of why _under your pillow_."

"…...I feel better with it being close-by." _Why…? Th__at__ doesn't make sense._

"So… the place that goes has that kind of power locked away, you said?"

"I really don't like the look in your eye, Yuffie. It's not a _toy_, and it's _not_ the sort of thing that would provide Wutai more than a Pyrrhic victory."

"Explain."

"I'm sorry Princess, but your Mario is in another castle." Seeing her not get the reference, I added another, "I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request."

She worked her way through that much quicker than a certain inept pirate did. "Why ya gotta be a bitch about these thing, Beth?! Why, I oughta climb outta this bed and teach you some respect!"

"No, you really 'oughta' not, and judging from the hissing and groaning your physical therapy causes you, that's an empty threat anyway. You're right, though, I'm a bitch. A rude, conniving, manipulative, and at times even _petty_ little bitch."

She nods rapidly at first through this, though this slows on the second and morphs into shaking her head in confusion towards the end.

"You don't believe me? Ask Tifa, she can tell you all about how I fucked up by _telling_ her. Look at how I directly and indirectly deprived Nanaki of his little 'story arc" being shown the true fate of his father. Hell, by that measure I stole Reeve's thunder entirely, back at the Gold Saucer. But what I'm not, is a bald-faced _liar_. I hide information when it would hurt _other people_ for it to be known, sure, but have I ever knowingly lied to you? Jokes where I immediately correct the misrepresentation aside?" She frowned and slightly shook her head. "Exactly. And I'm telling you: _you don't want to mess with it._"

"Beth, I didn't mean… sheesh, you're waaaay too serious about this. I getcha, I'm not stupid enough to… get involved with that level of stuff! And… you're not a bitch, okay? Ignore what I said. ...Beth?"

_Fuck this, I gotta get out of here._ I'm still wary of my ribs, though they've more-or-less healed, but I'm recovered enough to go to the wardrobe in the corner with my things. Heck, the only reason I'm still in here is because Godo asked me to stay with his daughter. As I pull my boots on, I address the room in general, "I'm going for a walk around the campus. Watch some TV or something, I don't care."

"…...fine! Be that way, see if I care, ya big dummy."

After I grabbed a bookbag I'd picked up at Gold Saucer, and stashed the Keystone inside, I left the room to settle my illogical anxiety with a little light exercise.

* * *

**Later that night**

As I've step out of the tiny bathroom where I'd given myself a sponge-bath – darn lack of shower! – and changed into my sorta-pajamas, I look across the room to the ninja on the bed. _I… was kinda a jerk earlier, for no good reason. Way to go. Fine, I'll apologize._

I sigh, getting the ninjas' attention. "Sorry about earlier, I… just had to get some air."

She pretty much dismissed the whole thing. "Hmph. Wish I could. You were out there a while, you get caught by that shower?"

"Eh, it was too light to worry much about. I just sat myself on a bench under that giant tree in the courtyard."

"Oh, yeah, I love that old thing...only seen it a couple times, though."

"Me too. Even with all those random encounters in the woods, I still enjoy the feeling I get from being around trees. So soothing… as long as branches aren't falling off in a storm or something."

"Y-yeah."

"I'm going to catch some zees, alright? Good night."

* * *

Sleep doesn't come easily. Like many nights recently – having nothing during the day to exhaust me – I recall that first, strange vision at the start of this journey.

Who was that woman in the starfield, and what did she mean by, "_You must defeat the deluded one. Stop the spawn of Chaos from __devastating__ more of my worlds_"? Sephiroth's the game's primary antagonist, and he was convinced he and that alien thing, Jenova, were Cetra – at least, at first – and that him destroying his homeworld was a good thing. Even though the Cetra were Planet Protectors. That's pretty deluded, I suppose...but he gets taken out at the end of the story.

And he's been severely weakened here, if I'm right. We kinda killed the Jenova body uses throughout the game, and we're not even to the end of disc 1, so… he's down to those few options I mentioned to Yuffie earlier.

Who _the hell _was that woman? ...she wore white, and she mentioned Chaos. Did she mean the Chaos sealed inside Vincent? The hell am I supposed to do, try to kill him and seal away the Protomateria?! I don't feel like that's right. The guy's a hero in his own right, from the insignificant amount I know about the _Dirge of Cerberus_ game.

Wears white, mentioned 'her warriors' and 'worlds'…. And she fights something called Chaos. Who-

Final Fantasy 1's White Mage, of course! Probably referring obliquely to the Heaven and Hell in the remakes, and it's some personality quirk that she refers to her fellow Warriors of Light as 'hers'. Yep, case closed, mmhmmm. I can finally stop worrying uselessly about it. Not that I was… frankly, I still think that whole thing was a hallucination of some sort.

...call it Argument from Personal Incredulity, but that doesn't seem right to me. Okay, why do I disbelieve it? Hmm. Not really a good reason. Assuming for the moment that she was the one responsible for bringing me here…

I doze off before I come up with anything.

The next thing I see is the very woman in question, with the same white dress and purple gems dangling from her earlobes as before. Unlike the last time she showed up in a dream, though, she looks particularly annoyed. "I must say, I am not impressed at how long it took you to contact me."

"Uh… sorry? Who are you?"

"You remember me, and you know who I am." _I'm getting the impression that your patience is strained, what gives…?_

"I've had _one_ dream-hallucination-thing where you appeared before now, some time after I died. I still haven't figured out who you are. ...I think… I was trying to figure it out, just a minute ago. So foggy now. ...I'm dreaming now, aren't I?"

"No. Things regarding dreams and sleep are rather different in our universe than in yours – here, minds can travel astrally and learn things they have never seen for themselves. They often forget upon waking, or write them off – and the things are not necessarily true – but the experiences can provide a person great insights beyond their culture's developments."

"…the Cids?"

She smiles blandly. "From what my warriors have told me of the Cids of their worlds and times, yes, I suspect they frequently travel the Astral Planes in their dreams, and retain an unusual amount of what they see. My own will not say, and I do not press him."

"Okay, great. But seriously, and respectfully, _who are you_?"

"I am Cosmos, servant of the Great Will, and the goddess opposing Chaos."

"…a goddess, huh. Okay, why not, for a dream twist."

She groans, annoyed, and half-orders me, "You have a timepiece, yes? You know how to check if you are dreaming, please do so now."

I raise an eyebrow and pull out… my old phone? Okay. I click the power button to make the time display on it, and look away… then look back. I read it a few times, and the date… they don't change, like they would if I were dreaming. No crazy numbers changing to letters, no random choice of time, not even a 'ticking forward one minute if you even blink'. I pinch myself, hard, and there's actual _pain… _yet I don't wake up. I concentrate hard on one arm, and on consciously moving it – something moving joints of my body wakes me up very easily, so this trick has let me out of… unwanted dreams in the past. It doesn't work this time.

I put the device back in my pocket, and look the goddess in her blue eyes. "Okay. So… Cosmos. From Dissidia Final Fantasy, then?"

"Your world has that story, yes."

"...which cycle is this, from your perspective?"

"The eleventh. Please, I beg you, if you know anything of the future I face… keep it to yourself." She smiles again, this time with some bitterness. "Now that you have found your way here once, I can ensure you do so quickly in the future. We have some things to discuss."

"Alright, please, talk. Like, why the hell did you choose me, and not, say, someone with even more thorough knowledge of the game world and backstory you were dropping someone into? Why did you provide such cryptic clues as to what I'm supposed to do? I've got more, but let's start there."

Her eyes dropped, and a small sigh escaped. "Those are hardly important in the grand scheme, and we have not an eternity here. If you must know, the Great Will only offered a narrow window of time in which to find a candidate to send to counter Chaos' manipulations. I looked for someone who had enough knowledge to ensure events led to a sufficiently-similar ending, was not likely to become a new villain using it, was not going to try amassing some kind of harem," she shuddered with disgust, "and who would not much mind being dropped into the available body." She gestured at me, and added, "Even here, without your conscious attempts to modify it, your astral appearance is quite… androgynous, perhaps a touch feminine by both our worlds' 'standards'."

"Oh?" I give myself another look over and touch my hair – she's quite right. It's different than Cissnei's body, being perhaps a little taller and the hair closer to brown, but it's hairless below the neck, and various other things I'm not going to go into for you. I materialize a sundress, with a thought, and try to keep it there while my attention is on the conversation.

"As for the cryptic clues? The transfer cannot be delayed long, or else the soul decays and the memories become confused. Cryptic, compressed, describe it how you will, you figured it out well enough."

"I didn't, really – I dismissed the whole thing as likely being a hallucination, remember? I just figure I'd do what I could to help."

"And help you have. You fought and killed Jenova's main remaining body, with the assistance of my warriors and their allies. So far, one has been saved from a terrible fate…"

"...so he does have backups. Crap." She nodded slightly. "And… do you mean, 'one ally has been saved from their fate, but it's not definite yet'? Or, 'in the course of events, one has been saved from their fate'? Sorry, my language is ambiguous."

"Fate is what it is. Stopping it… is like trying to stop a river's flow, or stopping the sunrise."

"…a river can be dammed and diverted, and if a planet is close enough to its companion star, it stops spinning – for that matter, stars run out of fuel eventually," I pointed out. _I'm not a fan of the inevitable-fate, lie-down-and-die philosophy._

Her smile is tight-lipped. "As I said."

"…so, you're saying the work isn't over, there? Good thing nobody was taking that for granted, then. Okay, so… what do you need to tell me?"

"Your work must continue. Sephiroth remains, yes, but he is not the one I spoke of."

"…it's Hojo, isn't it. See, if you'd just said that, I could've been done with this mess with the Omake!" I then mutter, "Y'know, besides having murder charges on my head, and accomplice on Aerith…"

She interrupts, "It is not Hojo, per se… however, he is indeed part of the problem. No, the true cause of our problems has used the powers of Time and dimensional warping to send several… one moment, please, we have watchers." She glares in your direction, brows knit together, and summons the crystals once more; together they glow with a harsh, pulsing light which digs into my brain like the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard, or styrofoam on cardboard. It then intensifies, and for a moment I _scream _from the sensory overload _\- _

– and then it was over, and she'd told me what I needed to know.

"...seriously? Those… okay, okay, don't bring the jammers on again, they _hurt like a bitch._"

She had the good grace to look distinctly uncomfortable about that. "I do apologize, I was not expecting that to hurt you. It was a localized transdimensional jamming field – we were, and even now are, being observed. ...I do not understand why it would hurt you?"

"I suspect it was less _transdimensional_ and more _narrative_, Goddess, and to someone who's been forcibly yanked through the Fourth Wall it's a bit… like having metal in your body, and having it ripped out by an MRI, only about a hundred-thousandths as damaging? It hurts."

"Oh. I did not see that coming."

"Let's… just move on, shall we? Has muddling with the plot interfered with what you need me to do?"

She blinked and shook her head slowly, before replying, "Not at all. I only care that Gaia is not destroyed – so long as it lives, my warriors will continue to exist here."

"...how does that timeline work, anyway? Like, from what point on the respective worlds' timelines are the heroes and villains plucked? Because some of it just does not make sense."

"It is complicated, and you should really not worry about it."

"Okay then. Anything else? Outrageous power-ups to help me continue to _not die_, that sort of thing?"

She actually looks affronted by this request. "You may be one of my warriors, in a limited sense, but I cannot afford to invest more power in you than I have. You have the hardier, Lifestream-based body of a Gaia native, your own natural tendency to learn, and at _great difficulty_ I convinced Minerva to not consider you another possible threat, like the last outsider – the abomination, you may recall. I have granted you a single power, to send anything that does not belong back to its own world, and _THAT_ took bargaining with a dragon! I am a goddess, yes, but my resources are not limitless!"

_Oh shit please don't be like the Greek pantheon – _"Got it! No requests then! Sorry, it was half a joke anyway."

"Just… go." She raised one… surprisingly nail-bitten finger, and _flicked_-

-and I catapulted awake. The clock read 2:39a.

It took a trip to the restroom, some reassurances to the guard, and an hour for me to return to sleep.

* * *

**Spring Solstice Celebration, 21 March 0008**

"_Oh mah goooOOIIIIIIIIISSSH, _you three look so cute! ...and if any of you tell _anyone_ I squealed like that, I swear to Cerberus I _will_ be pranking the hell out of you."

"Thanks!" Aerith beamed, completely ignoring the second half of that. "I love these 'yukatas' the people wear here, they're so comfortable!" She brushed one manicured hand down the front of her dark pink (of course) yukata, not letting go of Cloud's right arm.

Tifa looked slightly uncomfortable in hers, which was a dark blue, covered in flower print, and tied with a red bow. Probably because it keeps trying to gape open at the top. Or maybe it had to do with how she was holding onto his left arm with both hands and stepping very carefully in geta-clad feet.

Cloud, though?

"Fair warning, though, if Cloud starts going around dressed like that all the time… mm-mmm. I might have ask if you'd consider a fourth-"

"NO." "I'm at my limit, thanks." "Sorry, but I think we're happy right now." the triple chorused.

"Hahahahahaha! RE~JECTED!"

"Thanks for that, 'Yufi-chan'," I mock-groused at the mostly-recovered ninja. For the overreacting Tifa's benefit, I raised my right hand as if I were in American court and said "I was just kidding, I promise. So, how about those games? Last one to knock down 3 bottles buys the cotton candy?"

"Oh, you are on!"

_Of course I am, Yuffie. _"Oh," I add, "and Yuffie starts with -2 bottles due to excessively-rad skills. Sorry, dear, but that's the price of being awesome."

"Hey, come on!" She stamped her foot and pouted, making the rest of us laugh. "...oh fine, let's go! You still don't have a chance!"

….

"Look at you, cracka. A frail creature of flesh and bone, panting and sweating as you run through my corridors… and festival stalls. How can you challenge a perfect, immortal bottle knock-overing machine?"

Cloud and Yuffie were indeed both sweating… sweating _pure determination, _that is. Cloud, because he couldn't put less than his utmost into _anything_; Yuffie, because she _refused _to be defeatedin _her own_ court.

"…" A rejoinder for the ages that simply wasn't translated? Nah, this isn't FF8. It was all in the narrowing of one eye and the raising of the opposite brow.

"...heh. So be it." As one they turned… readied their balls…

Aimed….

And _threw._

Each of the balls leapt from their hands, spinning perfectly – the ninja's from sheer skill, and the swordsman's from Mako-enhanced muscle and coordination.

A high-speed camera caught her face urging it, 'go, fly, little ball-kun! To your destiny!" The one for Cloud's stall saw pure focus, and perhaps a hint of an old navy captain ordering his dying ship into one last heroic blow at ramming speed – certain that the effort would, inevitably, strike a fatal blow.

If the devices had focused on the balls themselves, they would've seen the scratches on one which caught an air current just _ever so slightly differently_, and which directed the ball just a _little _to its right.

Yuffie's bottle wobbled and fell over; Cloud's rocked, and nearly followed… but in the end righted itself.

"I WIN! OH YEAH! UH-HUH, oh YEAH!"

Cloud's dejected silhouette had Aerith subtly elbowing him; from my viewpoint, I was able to spot him give her an assuring wink and quick grin.

"Well done, indeed!" the carnie praised her. "As a limited-time special, I'll let you shoot once more, and you can double your prize points!"

"...eh, nah thanks, I'll just take the stuffed pirate and the photos."

I was too busy trying not to laugh at the notion of a ninja carrying a pirate around to knock more than one bottle over, so I ended up paying.

I ended up winning a zombie robot figurine at a 'gun'-shooting game, so it was all worth it.

* * *

**27 March 0008**

"You _hacked _a _goddamn satellite?!_ How the hell did you manage that, they were designed for security!"

"Maybe you should worry less about how someone managed to gain access, and more about _why the hell there are killsats in orbit?!_"

Cid gave me a look that clearly said I was ignorant, and answered, "They were placed in orbit under government authority and control, kid, once the Shinra space program figured out how to deliver unmanned payloads up to geosynchronous orbit. They were intended to redirect or destroy any goddamn thing that would survive reentry and destroy a fucking city," he explained, before rounding on Barret again and raging, "and they were fucking designed with security lockouts to PREVENT someone from AIMING AT THE GROUND."

"…I don't know whether to think you folks were _more_ careful by not trying to put people into space before the tech was mature and relatively safe, or _less_ by putting _weapons in orbit_ that can even _hypothetically_ attack the surface of the planet," I remarked, as I felt my expression morph into something combining 'finding this hilarious', 'utter despair at the stupidity', and sheer 'OMGWTFBBQ'. "

"Don't fucking tell me, girl, I was barely out of my internship at the time. Nobody asked my opinion, and I would've been too damn young and stupid to say much."

"Alright, let's get this dang plane moving, we still gotta beat the Turks t' the Temple," Barret reminded us, completely ignoring Cid's rant.

_Curse your 'sudden' but inevitable betrayal, Reeve… I knew we should've found some way to destroy the Keystone. Shame Barret's explosives couldn't even scratch the thing – what do we have to do, find a volcano and drop it in?_

_...nah, that's be practically handing it over to Sephiroth._

…

_I just wish Cait Sith's magic-mechanical parts weren't such blackboxes, I can't make heads or tails of them yet, let alone learn anything._

* * *

**Author's Note**

Just because the plot's _mostly_ off the rails, doesn't mean there aren't people with different goals requiring some of the same objectives to be achieved, and since nobody truly trusted Reeve from the beginning – despite Beth's on- and off-screen efforts – he doesn't feel quite so bad about stealing it and handing it off to the Turks. It just took more effort to get it to them.

In other matters, now I'm wondering if the world of FF7 even has pirates, let alone the theoretical 'pirates versus ninjas' conflict debates of our post-2003ish Internet.

The Winter Soldier is a character from Marvel Comics, the rights belong to them, etc etc. Short version is that he was forcibly brainwashed and programmed with a set of control phrases that will force him to do the bidding of anyone who knows them… kinda like Cloud in the game, before Tifa helps him put his real memories together inside his subconscious.

The comment about "Heaven and Hell in the remakes" of Final Fantasy 1 is a _complete memory fuckup_ on Beth's part. The only such thing is actually from the remakes of Final Fantasy _2_. The actual 2, not the "2" that is the SNES version of FF4. Duh, you knew that. I totally remembered it too. Yup.

Fun fact: Yuffie's original name spelling was Yufi, in the original Japanese. Given the general basis of Wutai's culture being some past era(s) of Japanese history (I don't know enough about it to dare speculate), I thought it would be appropriate to have her father call her such as a sort of childhood nickname.

If you don't know what a yukata looks like, well, you're on the Internet, you can look them up – I'm bad at describing things. Best I can say, they resemble western bathrobes, made from cotton, with a sort of beltish sash thing that ties in a bow in the back. ...for women, anyway. It's a different knot for the sash and different cut for the outer robe thing for men, because _gender roles_. Pfft. Wear what you feel happy and safe in, I say. Gender roles are for sissies.

...wait a-


End file.
